Post-Op & Deep Depression

Hi. I am 38 years old, and on April 17th had a full hysterectomy due to ovarian cancer. Since my surgery I have been in a state of very deep depression. I have been prone to depression in the past, but I have never felt a depression or anxiety as deep as this. I do not believe that I am grieving the loss of my ability to bear children, I had a very complicated miscarriage years ago and was told I could not have children and have dealt with that fact long ago. I am not quite sure what this depression is about, besides the obvious hormonal changes, post surgery stresses, dealing with the after cancer etc. What concerns me though, is that this depression is so severe. I have spent most days since my surgery on my couch or in my bed in tears, literally bawling at times, for reasons that are mostly a mystery to me. I feel like I am becoming a burden and an emotional drain for my friends and loved ones, since I know that I have become one for myself. But I cannot seem to pick myself up out of this depression and move on. Im on HRT, my gyn-onc started me on premarin immediately after surgery, but honestly i feel no effects. I do not feel like myself at all, and most days I just don t even want to open my eyes and face the world I realize healing and moving forward to normalcy take time, and I need patience. But this is very hard when I am feeling so extremely sad each day. I have booked an appointment with a therapist, but I am fearful it will just lead to more medication, and I am currently on so much as it is, I really dont want more. I guess I am just looking for some hope, that there is a light at the end of this tunnel...and maybe even an idea of when I can expect to start seeing that light. At this point, even though its so early after my surgery, I feel so terrible, I feel like throwing in the towel.

i am sorry hun but i was on depression meds before my surgery and 7 weeks out i had to get my depression meds upped more. i didnt have cancer but know the greiving the loss the ability to have children thing.

You have every right to your feelings and to grieve in general over all that had happened before and after the surgery. I did not have Hrt but other sisters have mentioned if it wasn't working for them , they reported it to their doctor to see about adjusting the dose or to try a different med that might be more effective. Please don't be discouraged and speak up to your doctor. You are not being weak but you are taking control of your care.
As far as antidepressants, I have taken them over the years and have had replacements and not necessarily additional meds. But get your doctors opinion so you don't need to suffer. I was on Paxil for years and it just stopped working for me so I switched a few times until I felt better.
Please hang in there and I truly believe you will feel better with the right meds given a chance to work. Dear sister, surround yourself with positive people and try to do things you enjoy. You deserve to be happy and you will.

Ashiicat

I am so sorry about your cancer diagnosis and the depression.

I had a hysterectomy from endometrial cancer. I had mild anxiety and depression prior to the surgery. After my surgery, for a variety of reasons, I went into full blown clinical depression. I ended up on antidepressants for the first time. About a year ago with my counsellor's help and time I was able to reduce the dosage. Not through everything yet.

I started feeling more normal after my surgery and such about 11 months out. I would highly recommend the counsellor.

Also we have a great Cancer Concerns forum if you want to / need to talk to those who have walked or are walking the path you are on. The ladies there are very knowledgeable and supportive.

There is light at the end of the tunnel but you need to get the support necessary to get through this.

Dearest Ashi
You and I ate a day apart with our surgery. I did not have cancer so I can't speak to that, but I have been feeling depressed almost all the time. It's not easy at all and you should always get your feelings out.
It really sounds as though you need some supportive people around you. Don't feel you are a burden to anyone please. You will be there for them when they need you. Hang in there. It will get better.
Big huzs for you 😇😇😇

I have been struggling with anger anxiety and depression since my surgery, so I think I understand, and definitely sympathize with u. Around 3 weeks post op I went to my family doc cause my symptoms were so severe. This happened after my thyroid cancer treatments too. So she prescribed effexor and I have been taking it. I am not excited to be taking this drug, but really felt I needed something since I was really put of control. I think a councillor is age at choice. Do u have someone u r close with that u can talk to honestly and air out your feelings. I found that helped. I also found sleep helped. I really hope things start to improve for u soon, hugs.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by AshiiCat Hi. I am 38 years old, and on April 17th had a full hysterectomy due to ovarian cancer. Since my surgery I have been in a state of very deep depression. I have been prone to depression in the past, but I have never felt a depression or anxiety as deep as this. I do not believe that I am grieving the loss of my ability to bear children, I had a very complicated miscarriage years ago and was told I could not have children and have dealt with that fact long ago. I am not quite sure what this depression is about, besides the obvious hormonal changes, post surgery stresses, dealing with the after cancer etc. What concerns me though, is that this depression is so severe. I have spent most days since my surgery on my couch or in my bed in tears, literally bawling at times, for reasons that are mostly a mystery to me. I feel like I am becoming a burden and an emotional drain for my friends and loved ones, since I know that I have become one for myself. But I cannot seem to pick myself up out of this depression and move on. Im on HRT, my gyn-onc started me on premarin immediately after surgery, but honestly i feel no effects. I do not feel like myself at all, and most days I just don t even want to open my eyes and face the world I realize healing and moving forward to normalcy take time, and I need patience. But this is very hard when I am feeling so extremely sad each day. I have booked an appointment with a therapist, but I am fearful it will just lead to more medication, and I am currently on so much as it is, I really dont want more. I guess I am just looking for some hope, that there is a light at the end of this tunnel...and maybe even an idea of when I can expect to start seeing that light. At this point, even though its so early after my surgery, I feel so terrible, I feel like throwing in the towel.

Oh girl! I am going thru the same ordeal. I deal with depression and mania due to bipolar which I think the hysterectomy adds to depression. Today was the first day on the last 4 weeks I forced myself to take a shower, go to my sons track meet and out to dinner with my son and husband. Now that's not to say tomorrow will be blah, who knows. This has to be hormonal despite hrt treatment which I'm on too. Hang in there and I'm glad you are going to talk to someone. I really don't have any magic words than to just take it all day by day. Having to stay I. The house and rest alot I think is the biggest contribution to how we are all feeling. Its been raining here so that does not make one happy either. Keep posting as much as you need to and feel free to slap anyone who tells you to smile, snap out of it, oh come on just be happy. I despise those people lol