live alone??

Any other sisters out there live alone? My surgery was June 21, and I go for a checkup next week. My house is a wreck... hate to go to the grocery store... laundry room is two floors down... get nervous about the simplest things... anybody else?

I live alone amd had my surgery on May16. (TAH/BSO) The 2nd week home I was vacuuming. I could not stand it. At 2 weeks I was driveing my stick shift car. I could not stand depending on someone to drive me around. I have done all my own house work from day one, with the exception of bending over to clean 6 litter boxes. I paid the neighbor girl to clean them everyday. Do a little everyday....if it feels that bad the next day rest. I think this forced me to recover faster. Oh...I forgot about the three 2-week old kittens that I have been hand feeding since my 2 week check up. I call them ...my recovery....it was all about them....not me anymore.
Good luck.
Kat

I also live alone. Well, your house is a wreck. So what? So is mine! We live alone, so who cares? And if we did have visitors, believe me, they will understand. If it bothers you too much, try to spend just 15 minutes a few times a day doing LIGHT housework. I am doing a little at a time. What I do get done feels like a great accomplishment, and what I don't get done will wait for me. Your body has been through a major trauma, and that's why you're nervous about the least little thing. I don't know what to tell you about the laundry. That would freak me out because I wash small loads of laundry, use my pick-up tool to remove it from the washer (I'm short and have trouble reaching the bottom of the washer tub), and then it takes me 2 installments to fold one load of clothes (I fold it while standing in front of the dryer so I don't have to carry it). Hopefully someone else has found a creative way to deal with that. I also hate to go grocery shopping, but I hated that BEFORE surgery, so that's not new. Grocery shopping is definitely the most difficult thing I've had to do. I had to restructure my shopping. For instance, I bought 2-liter bottles of coke instead of cans because I knew I could lift the bottles one at a time. Women generally prefer to row up the Wal-Mart bags on their arms like a waitress carrying plates so they can get them all inside on one trip. Not now! I brought in my freezer/fridge stuff first, got it put up, then rested before I brought more in. I didn't get my canned soup put up until late that night. Do a little, rest a lot, is my motto! Remember, it could be a LOT tougher. We could be single parents taking care of small children!!!

Ladies, doing more does not make you heal faster. Please take it slow and easy. Lifting too much too soon can cause scar tissue to form in places it shouldn't, leading to long-term pain. There is no cleaning job that is worth having long term pain for. Please do only what you need to survive (get help with that if it is humanly possible) and let all else wait. If you don't believe me, go check out the long term recovery board and see what they are complaining about.

herbsandveggies,

I had no idea that lifting causes scar tissue! Thank you so much for telling me. I am still working on filling out the survey questionnaire I received from the hospital. I am going to tell them they need to list this fact on the discharge instructions. I will definitely be more careful!!

Thanks again,
Rene

I live alone too, and here is how I've been managing. Some of my plan has worked and some has not. I've been pretty fortunate that people have been helping.

• BEFORE surgery, I asked my doctor for the prescriptions I would need afterwards, and got them filled ahead of time.
• For the first few days after discharge from the hospital I stayed with a friend, since I was pretty non-functional. It was a good idea, because I needed some extra pharmacy runs, etc, even though I had planned ahead the best I could. I needed Zofran and Cipro, which weren't planned beforehand.
• Once I came home to my own apartment, for the next week I received dinners from my Church's meal-ministry. That was great! I was eating the leftovers for lunch the next day (and sometimes breakfast, LOL), and got the benefit of better nutrition since it was balanced meals that I would not really have bothered with on my own.
• I have a friend who doesn't work in the summer and offered to help, so she has come over once a week for the past two weeks to throw in a load of wash for me. I have her do one large light load, and any dark items can just sit on the side for a few more weeks if they need to!
• I had stocked up on all grocery items that are not perishable, so I've got my juice and bottled water already.
• My sister-in-law gave me a huge fruit basket, so that kept me in fruit for over a week -- I ate items in the order that they would go bad, to make it last as long as possible. First the strawberries, then the bananas, then the peaches and nectarines. Then the mango and grapes. And now I've got a couple of apples left.
• My ONLY cleaning is that I put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher and empty it when they are clean. That's IT. My apartment was a big mess even before the surgery. Now it is pathetic. That is OK for now. I sit on the couch and contemplate the dust bunnies under the armchair. Oh well.
• My biggest problem is watering my tomato plants. I live in an apartment and have a terrace and grow flowers and tomatos and herbs. It takes about 6 big watering cans and has to be done every other day, even if it rains, since the terrace in effect has a 'roof' because of the apartment above me. One day I was so desperate I tried doing it myself, a pint at a time. Even though I wasn't lifting anything heavy, there was a certain amount of reaching involved, and I used about 40 pints. After I finished I realized that I overdid it, even though it was only a little at a time.
• I tried walking to the grocery store for a few light perishable items. I have to admit that even though I limited myself to a 4 pound bag in each arm, it was more strenuous than I expected to walk home with it (about 1/2 mile). I'm used to doing more, and it sounded so easy, and I was so careful to keep each bag under 5 pounds, but it was still a little too much.
• Approaching my 3 week mark, I was so excited to be feeling stronger that I started walking a LOT. After all, the doctor said that walking would help me heal faster, right? Well, I ended up walking in the morning and evening, 2-3 miles at a time. Again, I didn't realize at first that I was overdoing, because each step is such an insignificant thing. But I seem to have set my recovery back, because I ended up with a recurrence of a pain on my right side -- this was the same pain that started in the hospital when I was puking my guts out, but it had gone a way, and now is back.
• What's amazing is how many of our normal daily activities don't really HAVE to be done.

hehehe I guess we're all pretty much in the same boat! It seems no matter how much I tried to prepare ahead of time, there are always those AHA moments when something just has to wait that I forgot to plan for. Most of my friends work all day long, so I don't get much company... who cares what the place looks like! One sure thing about living alone... if I don't get to it today, it will definitely wait for me. I think I'm just getting impatient. Good to hear from everyone... thanks for all the good advice!

I got through my recovery mostly living alone. My mom stayed for three days, then left cuz she knew I was functional and she was bored! Before she left, she did a load of clothes and ran the vacuum around. She had prepared some meals, and I am big on "Healthy Choice" and the like. People tend to bring food when they visit as well.
Didnt really have a problem managing. One smart thing I did do was make a list of things that I couldnt do - like rolling out the big garbage can for collection. Then when a friend came to visit I could check the list and ask them to do a favor. They were always delighted to be useful.
Probably the only difficult thing was finding someone to mow the lwan without charging a fortune!
BTW, my doctor wanted me to be as active as I was comfortable with except for avoiding lifting and carrying weights and strenuous twisting (like starting the lwanmower!) He said that I would feel better faster if I worked up to but not over my limit. It was okay to be a little sore - just be sure to rest until the extra soreness subsides. What I was to avoid was anything that causes sharp pains - that could indicate damage.

I live alone and was fortunate to have my mom and dad both come down to help out the first 10 days, although at times I thought I'd be better off alone. But my dad drove us to my 2 week checkup, they went food shopping for me and did what they could to help out. Although it was tense having parents who have been divorced for 20+ years in my small apartment, it was good that the were here. My friends also chipped in and came over when they could.

I splurged and had my housecleaner, who in the past came twice a month or less, come once a week to wash the floors, do laundry, etc. This week I will probably go back to 2 weeks but it was worth the money to have her here.

But, the minute I started feeling "normal" = I jumped into action. I went back to work after 3 weeks (I work from home) and discovered why people wait at least 6 weeks. It's not only physical- it's mental. My brain, from all the medication, anesthesia and watching repeats of Raymond all day, was absoultely not ready to focus. Plus, once you start working again, you tend to overwork to make up for what you missed and to catch up (at least I did).

At 4 weeks I got ambitious and cleaned out my refridgerator, organized my room, washed the kitchen floor and went to the supermarket to buy food for a dinner party I had planned for that night. BIG Mistake. I almost passed out- literally- at the checkout counter. Could barely make it home.

At 5 weeks (last week), I attended a trade show and conference, which thank goodness, was near my home. 5 hours on a trade show floor however did me in, as did working the entire next 5 days without a break. I am still recouperating today from it and tomorrow is my 6 week anniversay. I spent most of this weekend in bed! I am exhausted even today and my scar and belly are pretth sore.

Here's the lesson -- forget about your dirty house. Do not go back to work if you can help it until 6 weeks. It is true what they say-- you need the time off. REST- and keep RESTING. I know it's boring but do it anyway. Join Netflix! Don't lift anything over 10lbs- period. I did and I am hurting from it now. I know it's difficult- kitty litter, galons of water, bags from the grocery- but lift as little as you can. Trust me- it will be worth it. At six weeks, you'll probably be feeling way better then I am at this moment!

kmainmiami,

Wow, I'm glad it worked for you having your parents there to help out. I have to admit that I was afraid that my mother would insist on coming. Unfortunately, she is high maintenance, and I knew that if she and my dad came, he and I would both be waiting on HER hand and foot all day, and I wouldn't be able to rest. Thank God she didn't come!

I'm having trouble figuring out how much is too much. The doctor placed incredibly few restrictions on me (my hospital discharge papers merely said don't do any unusual strenuous exercise), but I've overdone it a few times and it definitely has set me backwards.

Part of the problem is that I'm worried about being able to make it back to work at 6 weeks, and I'm trying to work my way up to that, but it's sort of backfiring. I commute by public transportation, so that's why I was going on those long walks -- I wanted to make sure I could stay on my feet for 1-1/2 hours if I didn't get a seat. And I went to a church leaders' meeting last night that went longer than I expected, and I learned that a 4 hour expedition is too long for me, still. That is scary, since my normal work day including commute is 13 hours.