So Fed Up!

I am so fed up of other people telling me how quickly and easy so and so had their recovery. I haven't even had the chance yet. I trust that people have good intentions. But tonight, my Dad calls me up and says lady had a hysterectomy and doctors told her 6 weeks and she was running around at 2 weeks. I said great. She had just her uterus out. I am having, uterus, both ovaries, cervix and possibly appendix as my endo has spread to abdomnin. This is just a sampling of my frustration. I don't want to be compared. We all have different bodies and heal differently. I explained to my Dad that she had her uterus removed only and not all the other. Isn't it a longer recovery the longer the surgery and the more they do? Correct me if I am wrong!! :burning:

You hit the nail on the head when you pointed out how we all heal at different rates. While one person having a total may be up and about 2 weeks out, the next may take 6 weeks and the same for removal of less organs. Having a family member in pain leaves people feeling helpless often times because they can't "fix" it. I'm guessing your Dad just wants you feeling better ASAP. I definitely wouldn't focus my energies on comparing myself with someone else's recovery time. After all, you'll have some healing to do. Be well.

Maxine

You are so right. Concentrate on your own healing. Do you also find that other women always say 'oooh, it's the best thing I ever did!' This is no doubt true, but could they spare a though for how they felt before the actual op?! (I'm not applying this to hystersisters btw..this is the first place I've found a more balanced and realistic approach without losing the positivity and support...does that make sense?!) I'm sure this is going to be the best decision I've ever made....but in 6 months time..if you ever see me post 'it was a breeze..best thing..blahblah..' .......shoot me! :wink

I'm am having the same problem here. My Mom told me to quit being a baby and that I better be at my nephews bapitism which is only a week after my surgery. She said my uncle just had his gallbladder removed and was back to his construction job in 4 days. Needless to say she is not coming out to help. Now my DH and sons think I'm not going to need much help either.

I'm scared i'm not going to heal well because i'm going to be forced to get moving to soon!

I've heard from some ladies that they were up and able to do just about anyhthing at only a week or so. I've also heard that some of them went on to have complications because of overdoing too soon. Just remember to follow your dr's orders and listen to your own body.Together, you'll know what's best for YOU. Don't try to be superwoman, go slow and easy and allow yourself the time needed to heal properly.

I like to think that the people are just trying to encourage ( or maybe a little self bragging? ) us when they say things like that. My sister told me that she was gardening at 6 days post op from a tah. I sure don't remember her doing that when I was waiting on her hand and foot Not to mention that I was quite a bit older when I had my tah/bso. But, I just smiled and said that we were all different and healed differently

Best wishes.

S

I don't know about you, but I was often told, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it." People might be trying to connect with you by emphasizing the positive and minimizing the negative. That doesn't mean it's working for you -- I can hear how annoying it is to hear these things!

Someone very wise told me I would have a lot more empathy for others going through surgery as a result of going through it myself, and it's been true for me. When other people in my life bring up present or upcoming medical situations, I've been trying to ask open-ended questions like,"How are you doing with that?" or if I sense fear, "I stayed fairly serene up until the last night beforehand, and then fell apart in pre-op. I learned that I could still get through it successfully."

It has been very helpful having a journal of my whole surgery story in the Journals area here on HysterSisters. I can let people know it's there, let them know the good and the bad is all there, and leave it to them to read it or not. I don't want to emphasize only the positive, or "overshare" the painful or difficult aspects of it.

I appreciate your post as a reminder to all of us to let each woman heal in her own way and time, let her know what we can offer, and avoid any kind of pressure on her, even as a joke. My standard response to any kind of pressure or personal question is simply, "Well, one day at a time."

Holly

Fallflower, send your nephew a pretty card and stay home in bed. I can't imagine getting dressed up, driving , and then sitting in a church pew, or standing around the baptismal fount, at one week post op. As for gallbladder surgery, those are nothing now and can't even compare to a hyster. Sounds like your Mom could use some education, and some tact.
Sit your DH and kids down and tell them you ARE going to need help, that this is NOT an easy surgery, and you will NOT be up and doing everything in a week or two, or even longer. And then stick to your guns. It has been repeated on here so many times, but you only have one chance to heal correctly.
Good luck to you and hope all goes well.

I have told everyone right along that I DON'T CARE HOW FAST OTHER PEOPLE HEAL, I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES! It is totally annoying, and I even had one friend question me about the lifting,,, she said ohh, the doctors just tell you that, they know your not going to listen. I think maybe your dad might just be worried, and hoping everything will go well. Some people try to find different ways of putting their fears into prospective. I don't think they realize its patronizing not helpful,, and can make you want to smash them...lol

I'm have the works out too, and I don't expect to be doing much of anything for two weeks. I asked my doc if its worse then normal, expecially if you have a lot of endo to remove, and she said yes because there is more to heal. No one who has this surgery should be back at full tilt at less than 4 weeks and that pushing it.
prayers and hugs,
Donna

Chanale -

I can empathize with you. Those giving you their 'expert' advice probably think they are putting your mind at ease. Their intentions are in the right place, but I don't blame you if you'd want to slap them silly! Come here often, where you can get the comfort and knowledge you need as well as vent 24/7.

Fallflower: Send your mom here. We'll handle her for you.

Hi, Everyone heals differently. What may be alright for one person isn't always the case for another. I remember going to mass about 4 weeks after my surgery and sitting in those hard pews. I was so sore and exhausted the rest of the day which made me realize that was a big mistake. Ouch! Take care and best wishes to you! Melanie