New PIW, how to explain to the kids?

Hello there! I just found your site today, and wow! What a TON of info!!!

I go for my pre-op appointment tomorrow, with surgery on the 14 of July. I dont know all of the abreviations here yet, but i know I am having the uterus and cervix removed, and keeping the overies.

I was wondering how to explain to my children (11 and 8) about what will happen during my stay at the Castle, and what I can and can't do.. and why THEY need to chill for a few weeks without fighting and stressing me out?!?!?! *big sigh*

Anyways, I am glad I have found you all.

Palmchick, fro Ontario, Canada.

All my children are grown but I have four grandchildren ranging in age of 9 thru 2 who I'm around a lot. I also have some children of friends who are used to being able to play with me. I simply tell them I had an operation and I can't lift them up. I then offer to do things like sit next to them on the couch, etc.

With kids at home I'd tell them that mommy has to go to the hospital for a little while. After she's home and had a chance to rest, she'll start feeling better. I find children aren't that interested in the details. I'd definately explain that daddy will be in charge for a little while (grandpa and I trade off "in charge" days, anyway, so they're used to it.)

As for making them behave, if you're not 100% successful now (and no parent is), you won't be after your surgery either. You'll just have to loosen the standards for a little while until you are feeling up to dealing with it. Any opportunities for the kids to visit friends and relatives (especially overnight) will help tons. I have a refrigerator magnet that reads, "I figure if it's 5 o'clock and the kids are still alive, my job is done." Just adopt the same attitude.

Your husband will gain a whole new appreciation for you!

I think that best thing you could do is tell them the truth. I told my little boy (he's 4) that I had to go to the hospital for a night and that when I got homoe, my tummy will be sore and that I needed his help with keeping his room clean and not fighting with his sister. Answer any of the questions they might have as honestly as you can, and definately reassure them that it will all be ok. They may have to be reminded a few times that you need their help but I think that they will be more receptive since you were open and honest with them. Good luck!

Palmchick,

I had this talk with my 6 year old son this afternoon. Yes at first he was afraid for me but I told him the truth and explained to him that I will be in the hospital for a few days and his dad will bring him to visit and that when I get home he will need to be very careful with me. My situation is a little different though, in Feb of 2002 I was injured pretty severly and was hospitalized for a few days. I have spent the last 17 months recovering from a brain injury so finding out that I will be going back into the hospital naturally made him freak out. Be as honest with your kids as they can handle. I have found that the more details I try to keep from my son makes things worse for him emotionally. I am scheduled for my TAH/BSO/LOA on 9/23/03 this subject is out in the open and if he has any questions between now and then he will ask us and we will answer them. Good luck with your kids and God speed on your recovery.

Donna