Upcoming hysterectomy 12/16: Help Post Surgery

I am wondering how much help and with what exactly you need post surgery?


I am married and have 3 children, ages 3, 9, 10 all born via c-section and I had zero help, literally none after every delivery, my husband worked and I didn't want to impose on others. The night they were born, my younger two who roomed in, I took care of from day one, I didn't want to wake or trouble my husband for help so I figured it out. My oldest was in the NICU for 2 weeks and even then I was there 18-20 hrs a day from day 2 on.

No, don't try to be Superwoman. This is major surgery with many internal incisions (blood vessels, nerves, ligaments all severed as well as where organs were removed) which all need healing. There will be lifting restrictions (10#, about a gallon of milk), and many Sisters also have restrictions of no pushing/pulling, bending, twisting. That pretty much rules out carrying laundry, vacuuming, pushing a loaded shopping cart, bending down to put a heavy dish in the oven... you're also not going to be driving for a week or two at least. It's difficult to sit upright for long periods of time, as well as standing on your feet for long periods too, and fatigue is a constant companion for many of us. The doctor's release date is between 4-8 weeks depending on the type of surgery you had, any additional procedures, any setbacks. Healing continues beyond that, but after your doctor's release, you can gradually return to daily activities, listening to your body for cues that it's not ready for something.

A couple of articles for you which go into further detail:

• Assistance After Surgery
• Body Mechanics Post-Op
• Hysterectomy Restrictions

Your older children can definitely pitch in, and often they'll enjoy the praise and feeling of self-worth from being a little adult. Your little one you'll have to invite to sit beside you to snuggle rather than picking up. Accept help from friends (meals, carpool, transporting kids to activities). Your husband will have to step up, and there's a site for our guys at MisterHysterSisters.com to help them understand. Other things... will just have to go by the wayside for the time being. My favorite comment from one of the Sisters here was that she was naming dust bunnies! Given that we have one chance to heal, it's important that we follow guidelines.

Best wishes for your surgery!

I think this surgery is the hardest for those who do everything for everybody else and the issues are two-fold.

1) you are so used to taking care of everybody else, you forget to take care of yourself and when it's time to, you have no clue how to let go.

B) your family/husband may struggle with understanding why you can't do the things you normally do.

Piece of advice? Now is the one time you need to be selfish as heck. You need to let the dust bunnies build up, dirty laundry to pile up, carpet to get manky. You need to go for a few walks and keep yourself occupied while you heal literally hundreds of internal stitches. Your partner, family, kids etc need to step up to the plate and take care of you. And if they don't, you stay on the couch while they learn to fend for themselves.

I don't have children. But I normally take care of the farm...cats, dogs, birds, chooks, horses, cows, sheep, goats and pig. I had to let that all go. And sure, the barn was trashed when I finally got to it, the animals were fat from having too much food, my lawns needed haying, not mowing, but I dealt with all of that after I healed. Errr well actually if I'm being truthful, I mowed the lawns at 4 wks post-op and paid a hefty price for it. So trust me...don't do more than your doctor recommends.

I had 4 c sections. And like you, I took care of my kids and new born all by myself. I thought I would be able to sail right through this total laparoscopic hysterectomy with no problem. I WAS SO VERY, VERY WRONG.

I found the main cause of c section pain was the pulling and burning from the incision for the first few days. But with a hysterectomy you have the incision pain, that is mild for lap, AND you have internal pain from having your uterus, cervix and tubes removed. Now granted, the pain from removal wasn't as severe as it was aggravating. Then about 2 weeks you will feel lots better BUT then will start the healing internal pains. There is more to heal than the incisions like you have with a C section. The 2 week recovery time for robotics and laparoscopic procedures tends to be unrealistic for most.
I'm not saying the pain is unbearable. It's just you will find it hard to ealk, sit or ride in a car for any length of time. For the first few weeks. The pain is more of a discomfort or ache.
Take this time to take care of you. If you push yourself too much you can cause problems with healing that can lead to a longer recovery or more surgery.

But comparing a hysterectomy to a C section (trust me, I thought the same as you) is like comparing apples to oranges. The only thing they have in common are that they both are female exclusive surgeries.

I hope you have an easy recovery and don't forget to rest, you'll need it. TAKE A FEW WEEKS AND INSIST ON BEING PAMPERED.

I am almost 5 weeks post op and still take 800 mg ibuprofen for pelvic aching. No pain, just a constant dull ache if I walk or sit for long.

This is so notvthe same as a section and you will need A LOT of help. And you will need to decide to let things go. My kids have learned to do their own laundry during my recovery. I am 2 weeks out and still not doing much, still no lifting and limited bending. My dr has stressed toy husband and i that you can only heal from this once and how you heal can affect you for the rest of your life. Stress that to your husband and family. You will need help doing way more than you realize.