Anyone feel like The surgery was sucessfull but the patient dying?

I don't know how to explain this. Im 54 , Day 17, Pain better but all the iother things. I cry for no reason uncontrolably I can't leave my house I can't hardly leave my room Im panic and agorphobic and on second floorsa so can't get down 32 stairs. I am anemic still on oxygen at home now i have diareah Time quit colace.

I had one the best Gyncologist Oncologist in the Country but he thought only about him and his surgery . He refered to himself at discharge as God Complex.

Thing is I feel like He and "his Team" really forgot one thing. That there was a human attached to all that he cut out.

I cry all the time and I feel like surgery was great sucess but the patient died........

oh honey....i am so sorry...... i hope you feel better soon......

huuuuggggggsssssssss
jamesgirl

You're not alone JWD... I busted out crying for no reason at all in the middle of Food Lion today.

You have been through an awful trauma. It is majorly emotional to lose your female parts.

I introduce myself, as half the woman I used to be. It helps to ilicit laughter.

Your situation sounds serious and I recommed you see a mental health professional pronto.

No shame... You are being treated for hysterectomy depression. Normal for thousands of women.

You are not alone....

Please speak to someone about how you are feeling. I am concerned about you and for your safety.

Dear JWD,
I am so very sorry that you feel so sad. Honestly, your symptoms sounds very much like I felt after each of my 5 miscarriages. You seem to be grieving. Loss hurts and losing part of ourselves, like we all have can be bittersweet. I am 44, I just had a TAH and had the ovaries and cancerous cervix removed on 3/9. I too cry at the drop of a hat one minute and laugh til my stitches hurt the next. Our bodies have been thru so much and we have to nurture them. Depression, if you have it, is just like any other illness- no shame we just need to take care of it like we would any other illness we take care of. If you are crying all the time and afraid to go outdoors please please seek help. This site is an excellent way to communicate but it cannot take the place of seeing if you could benefit from hormones or anti-depressants and such.

As for your "wonder boy doctor" with the god complex- he sounds like he needs to get an attitude adjustment or stop trying to compensate for what he may lack in other body parts. I like to call it TTS or "tiny tool syndrome" BUT, as a former Medical Social Worker, I can honestly say that those arrogant jerks are excellent surgeons so look on the bright side that he did a good job removing the cancer. Now that we both have that nasty cancer out of us, we should be able to regain our energy and begin life anew.

Sending positive thoughts you way !!!

Hi It sounds like what you are going through is quite normal with the crying spells though you maybe feeling a little trap with those 32 steps Have you always had agorphobia and panic disorder? Because if so this may be a little et back for you. Either way you need to find a way to get oout of your rm then maybe out of the house. small steps at atime set your self small goals. Is ther someone you can stay with that doesn't have all those steps until you heal? Are you taking something for the anemia? K.I.T. Hope It ALL WORKS OUT FOR YOU.

Aw, JWD.

I'm so sorry you're feeling so empty and sad right now. Do you have anyone else in your home with you or someone you trust who can come over and just be with you? If I were there, I would just wrap my arms around you and cry with you, with a big old box of kleenex and a nice cup of tea for you. Even though these things might seem small, it can be very healing to just have someone with us to share our sadness and acknowledge our feelings. We can all do that here for you , but it sounds to me like you could use some physical human contact.

You've got an awful lot going on--you're healing from a major surgery, your hormones are all over the place (whether or not you kept your ovaries), you're having trouble getting out of your room, you have other health issues, and you had a doctor who didn't treat you the way you deserved and needed. It's no wonder that you're crying.

I really wish I could be there to give you a hug. I'm sending you a huge one through cyberspace, anyway. I hope tomorrow feels like an easier day.

JWD,
You don't say if you had any of these issues pre-surgery so it's a little hard to know what to say. I can tell you that I didn't have any of those issues until 3 or 4 weeks after surgery. Then I started suffering from severe insomnia and when I did sleep, I would wake up after 20 minutes having major anxiety attacks. I felt like I couldn't breathe, my heart was racing and I thought I was going to die. I started having them during the day and crying over nothing. Eventually, I realized I was driving to stores just fine but couldn't talk myself into getting out of the car and going in. When it got to the point where I didn't even bother leaving the house anymore, since I couldn't get out of the car, I finally called the dr. It took 3 different drs but I finally found one that gave me a scrip for xanax. After about a week, I had stopped having the attacks. I still take one every 3 or 4 days (when I start feeling like I'm losing it) and am back to my normal life. My gyno feels it is a symptom of the hormone change and that menopause will probably bring it back on. It was a huge relief to find out I wasn't crazy and find a way to control the feelings. This may not be the same cause of your issues, but I would push for help. If one dr. doesn't take it seriously, go to another. This is your life, don't give up on it.
I'll be praying that you get back on track and are able to enjoy your new, pain free life.
((((HUGS))))

JWD - I have felt and still on occasion feel exactly like your last line. I am lucky that I have a therapist that understand, diagnosed me w/ clinical depression over all this (surgical menopause, unexpected cancer trauma and major surgery). I've had Drs tell me that I was going to go through menopause anyway so I was going to have these experiences in the next year or two. I'm like "Hello, but wasn't expecting it now or overnight"! Please seek out a therapist and have them help you through this. I'm just getting to the point where I feel like I'm coming out of some of this and even then it's still a day by day thing.

Hugs and prayers.

Hi JWD, well I find myself crying too, which is weird because before this I couldn't even cry if I wanted to. I think some of it is that even tho' I'm 59 my ovaries must have been making some estrogen, and now that's gone, so...maybe a bit hormonal. Also you mentioned gyno/onc, does that mean you had endometrial cancer? That's another reason for grief. I strongly agree with the other sisters about talking to a therapist. Good luck darlin', you're in my thoughts and prayers, Genie