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Why I'm So Sad
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06-23-2008, 11:39 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
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Why I'm So Sad
Well this has been a long journey for me and I am only 30. I was told 1 yr ago I needed a total hysterectomy. I have PCOS and have since i was 11. I wasnt diagnosed until I was 27. By then the damage was so bad that there wasnt a whole lot they could do. I couldnt find a doc to see me when my military insurance finally kicked in then I called the doc whose name stuck out to me. She told me she didnt have an appointment for 2 months for new patients and asked why I needed to be seen. I told her I had been bleeding heavily for 72 days with no signs of it letting up. She talked to the doc and he had me come in the next day. He looked at me and diagnosed me, told me what my test numbers would be and he was right on the nose. So they did a lap and removed so much endometriosis the doctor was shocked. He did ovarian drilling since he was already in there and started me on fertility drugs. I ended up having to do fertility treatments for a year under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist. I finally got pregnant. ( I also got pregnant when I was 19 and they told me it was a freak thing because I didnt even have the right number to show I had ovulated, they told me she was in my tubes and I was going to M/C and they had to take out my tube. I stayed in the hospital over night and they took me back for another ultrasound and they said she had moved and reattached, she is my first miracle baby)So back to the story, I ended up pregnant this time around and had so many problems. So much pain I couldnt hardly walk, had gallbladder surgery at 4 months and by the time I was 35 wks couldnt walk because she felt like she was trying to claw out. They say endo goes away during pregnancy....not necissarily true. Well I had her at 37 wks because I couldnt go any longer, I went to my doc and cried and he did all the tests and went ahead and induced. I breastfed for a year. Wonderful, except the mastitis..ugg another story for another day. So that year I was blessed with one period. So after I stopped it was like I opened up pandoras box. I bled and bled and bled til I passed out. The clots were so big I had to pull them out. So he scheduled he LAVH.My insurance denied me because I needed a lap in the past year. So I got one and got a tune up. So here I am a year later and its all back. Ovarian stabbing pains, cramping in front and bad back pain, and the feeling of ripping tissue when I exercise. I am ready to be healthy. I know I am so blessed to have 2 beautiful children and a step son. But I can't help feeling jipped. All these people out there have so many kids, there men look at them and they get pregnant. I cant get pregnant unless I pay thousands. I know life isnt fair but I feel like my body just sucks. It never has worked right and it bothers me so much. I really wish they would fund more testing so that they could figure out why this is so common these days. I know I sound like a skeptic but I believe its from the extra hormones in food. I am trying to buy more organic but cant afford as much as I would like. Sorry for the long rant but I am having a hard time coping. Thank for listening.
Oh and by the way..I just need to say my OB is fabulous and I found out after I started seeing him that his father delivered me, at the same hospital he was going to deliver my daughter at. It was amazing!
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06-24-2008, 06:50 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 515
Hysterectomy: June 10th, 2008
Surgery Type: TLH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Why I'm So Sad
Hi and welcome to the board. This is a wonderful place for friendship, support and information. I am sorry you are having these issues but I am so happy for you that you have two children. I don't know why some people have so many problems and others seem to sail threw life without a care. I wouldn't wish my problems on anyone but sometimes I would like for some of the people around me to just have to deal with the problems I was dealing with for one day.
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06-24-2008, 07:01 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,984
Hysterectomy: March 19th, 2008
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Why I'm So Sad
Hi rosie;
your story is sad, but I have read so many sad stories also, and they all get to me somehow, in other words, you are not alone but.....look at the nice things around you, you have been blessed with two children of your own, which alot of us have not....and you are facing this surgery now, but its temporary....you will have it done and get on with your life, and is going to be great! have faith it will all work out for you and you wont have any more pains hon.......
this is "life" and we are here to do the best we can, with what we have, and have faith that God knows what He is doing and why.......hang in there.... we are here 24/7 for you and we care about you, I choose to look at the bright side and not the sad side.....God bless you and your family.....
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06-24-2008, 10:06 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
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Why I'm So Sad
I think the worst part is I am afraid I will never wake up. I know they do these all the time but I am severely freaked out
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06-24-2008, 10:46 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,984
Hysterectomy: March 19th, 2008
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Why I'm So Sad
Rosie78; what you are feeling is normal, we have all kinds of fears...what type of surgery are you having and what type of anesthesia are they giving you? if you are very concern about "not waking up", talk to your doctor and maybe they can give you epidural anesthesia instead of general....with the epidural you are only numb from the waist down and there are no tubes going down your throat, and you are sedated enough to not wake up but its never like general.....its just an option, but its best if you mention your concerns to your doctors and discuss this option....
praying for Gods guidance in your decision making...let me know what you decide....
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06-24-2008, 12:36 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 248
Hysterectomy: July 17th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Why I'm So Sad
Rosie,
I totally understand your fear. I also have PCOS along with uterine fibroids and endometriosis. lovely combo, but it is common. I am also afraid I won't wake up, and am close to your age.
we'll do great hun, we'll storm the castle and come back to encourage other hystersisters.
hugs hun, me
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02-09-2010, 10:22 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
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Re: Why I'm So Sad
I havent been on here in almost 2 yrs. I went in for my surgery and they ran tests and I was actually 8 wks pregnant! So I now have a lil boy and once again I am scheduled for a hysterectomy on Feb 16th 2010.
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02-10-2010, 06:52 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 46
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Re: Why I'm So Sad
I too had a fear of not waking up after the surgery but I have found that the closer my surgery comes (Feb.16th) the better I feel. I have also been making a list of things to get done before and I have written letters to my family. I do that before every surgery I have. It helps to calm me. It also makes for good recovery. I read them again and throw them away lol I will say a prayer for you and hope your fears get eased.
Kim
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02-10-2010, 08:46 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: February 16th, 2010
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Re: Why I'm So Sad
Thanks! Looks like we are surgery date buddies! I am a lot calmer this time around. I just look at my kids and know I need a better quality of life for them. I wake up in pain. My lower back and ovaries ALWAYS hurt. Ready to have a normal day...if there is such a thing. =)
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02-10-2010, 08:53 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 438
Hysterectomy: March 2nd, 2010
Surgery Type: DvH
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Re: Why I'm So Sad
Rosie gentle hugs for you.
Our fears are real and normal.
I have a fear of still having my pain and then I question myself but then all it takes is a flare up of that pain and I say yes that's why I'm having this surgery!
We will be okay and feel better on the post op side. I'm going to the castle on March 2 so I'll see you on the post op side.
I'm trying to stay positive and keep busy with my kids and around the house.
So glad you have your 3 beautiful children , that is a wonderful blessing.
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