Such Negativity!

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Originally Posted by Determined16 Thank you I was talking about my friend he always has something negative to say & when I tell him how I feel about that he gets mad!...

If I had someone in my life who acted that way, I wouldn't consider them a friend. Friends respect each other's right to have their own opinions.

I think there are two things at play that are probably crashing against each other.

The first is the internet, where people can be perceived as bragging or complaining or anything along that continuum. Because of that, people tend to get emotion involved and feel like they need to say something.

The other thing is that with anything medical, people have very different philosophies. Some people feel like they need to run to the doctor for everything and take the doctor's instructions to the letter. Others feel like they don't want to panic.

This forum is a bunch of women who've gone through the same surgery (sort of) but all have approached it from different levels of activity, health, and perception of what is exercising and what is simply movement. Some have had a very difficult time while others have had an easier time. Even perception of pain is different. What one might describe as discomfort, another might see as pain.

To make it even more confusing, there don't seem to be any guidelines on what movement and walking are deemed to be. I just had my two week check in with my doctor. She kind of told me to take it easy when I said I'd gone to a movie and the grocery store a few days before. Today I walked my two-mile loop around my neighborhood. I have no idea if that's too much in her view, but I'm at a point where I can't sit around anymore.

I'd say be respectful of the idea that there's internal healing going on - I'm sure have that on your mind, but you're also the only one living in your body. It's really not up to anyone else to tell you how you're feeling.

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Originally Posted by SecretUserName ...Even perception of pain is different. What one might describe as discomfort, another might see as pain.

Indeed. Exasperated by the nurses in the hospital who kept asking me if I had any pain, I finally exclaimed, "Look, I've got a 7" incision down my belly. So, yeah, I've got some soreness, it's a bit twingey, but it's not *painful*."

I later found out that was I was describing was what a medical person would call level 4 pain.

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To make it even more confusing, there don't seem to be any guidelines on what movement and walking are deemed to be. I just had my two week check in with my doctor. She kind of told me to take it easy when I said I'd gone to a movie and the grocery store a few days before. Today I walked my two-mile loop around my neighborhood. I have no idea if that's too much in her view, but I'm at a point where I can't sit around anymore.

The most useful advice I got on this point came from the gyn who referred me for surgery. She knew I walked 45 minutes to get to her office, so she framed my recovery in those terms, telling me that during my third and fourth weeks after surgery I could do my "longer walks." The gyn onc who actually did the surgery was wonderful, but he simply didn't have the context of my regular activity levels and thus couldn't give me more than basic dos and don'ts.

Other differences I see among difference women in how they experience their hysterectomy recoveries:


- Expectations. I headed off for the hospital hoping that by the time I got home, I'd at least be able to make it from my bed to the toilet and back. I figured as long as I could do that, I could put some bread, fruit and water next to my bed and live off that until I was able to get around better.

Imagine my delight when I arrived home far more mobile than I'd expected! Sure, I had to walk slowly, with short steps, but I could get around quite well, fix myself simple things to eat, take care of my cats, etc.

On the other hand, women who weren't expecting any level of limited motion or mobility are often quite dismayed.


- Experience. When I was 39, a bicycle accident left me with a knee injury. A month after the accident, the external incision was healing nicely but the knee still would not bend. My orthopedics doc patiently explained that the impact had traumatized the tissues and that they would take more time to heal.

After my hysterectomy, I looked at my swollen abdomen and thought, yup, it's those traumatized tissues again!


- Understanding that "feeling good" and "feeling normal" are two different things. I felt "good" throughout my recovery. I also recognized that my body did not feel "normal" and was not ready for "normal" activities (e.g. handling 30-40 lb boxes at work).


- Pressure: I also did not feel any pressure to "get back to normal" quickly. I had an understanding workplace, and my only dependents are my cats (who were thrilled that Mumma was home more often than usual). Other women aren't as lucky in this regard.

It's probably more concern than negativity on your friend part. My mom has been the same way. You shouldn't this and that, it's all in good intentions. I'll do what I want but politely thank her for her concern

Just as we all have different recoveries, we all had surgery for different reasons too.

I had a 6.5 pound fibroid uterus trying to fall out of my vag and putting pressure on my uterus. I was horribly anemic because of nearly constant heavy bleeding for 5 months. Long story short.... Should have had surgery years ago probably but waited until I couldn't wait anymore.

My recovery has not been bad but I think it is all relative! Compared to the pain and pressure I had before, the post op pain of getting rid of the angry uterus has been minor!

Hi, I too have a good pain tolerance and have been able to be active and walking further each day. Stay positive as each of us heals differently and it is as individual as people are. Keep up your faith as I do feel that is so important and sometimes it is best to just ignore those who are not being supportive. Happy healing!

TLAH, 1/9/17, Endo Cancer Stage 1, 1a

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Originally Posted by Mindy Lee When I told women here (specifically on my recovery thread) I was cleared for yoga, I was accused of lying. When I told them I was cleared to return back to school (with restrictions, I couldn't carry a backpack, I had to wear yaktrax on my shoes to reduce my risk of falling on ice,) I was again told I was lying, my doctor was too liberal, etc.

Could you provide links to the posts you mention? We have not been able to find them and we would very much like to check into this matter as our site guidelines ask that all members post with a tone of kindness and show respect to each other.

Recovery guidelines given here are generally accepted ones, but all women need to work their own doctors as to what is best for them. Each doctor performs surgery a bit differently which can impact healing and recovery. Every woman is also different which can impact her own healing and recovery. And there is happenstance which can happen to anyone.

The goal of HysterSisters.com is that all women have a place of kind support and basic information for their hysterectomy journey. We do not take the place of physicians and all members are posting simply as women supporting women based on their own experiences.

I am 17 days out from surgery and have been out shopping and driving. I find that I get tired quickly and realize now that I start to feel lightheaded first and then realize that I need to rest. Only pain is a pinchy type pain to the right of my navel and don't even have a incision site close to that.