LAVH: Worried about things

I'm new here and worried about so many things.

First - insurance denied hysterectomy until I have a bunch more tests, including a uterine biopsy. I'm terrified of that! I've had some trouble getting that scheduled but I have pre-op appt and u/s tomorrow so I'm guessing he'll do it then, along with bloodwork.

Next, I'm worried about the actual hysterectomy. I don't have any family or friends closeby to help with the kids. DH's mother declared LAVH no big deal. She had something done laparoscopically and was back at work 3 days later. As you can guess, dh is listening to her over me and what my dr is telling me. So I'm busting my fanny trying to tie up loose ends, do all the shopping, all the cleaning, and prepare freezer meals for him and our kids (they are 6 and 8).

Someone tell me this will all be okay. I want to cancel the whole thing even though my cycles are so wonky I bleed almost all the time and the pain is so bad I can't sleep and have fainted.

Just wanted to give you some support. You are doing all the right things. Get some food that the kids can serve themselves independently and have a good chat with them that they are going to be your helpers. Everything should go well. Let the house get dirty, let the kids binge on TV and let them eat pbj and cereal every day. It's all good!

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Originally Posted by Daikichi I'm new here and worried about so many things. First - insurance denied hysterectomy until I have a bunch more tests, including a uterine biopsy. I'm terrified of that! I've had some trouble getting that scheduled but I have pre-op appt and u/s tomorrow so I'm guessing he'll do it then, along with bloodwork. Next, I'm worried about the actual hysterectomy. I don't have any family or friends closeby to help with the kids. DH's mother declared LAVH no big deal. She had something done laparoscopically and was back at work 3 days later. As you can guess, dh is listening to her over me and what my dr is telling me. So I'm busting my fanny trying to tie up loose ends, do all the shopping, all the cleaning, and prepare freezer meals for him and our kids (they are 6 and 8). Someone tell me this will all be okay. I want to cancel the whole thing even though my cycles are so wonky I bleed almost all the time and the pain is so bad I can't sleep and have fainted.

I know this is a hard decision to make but once you have a hysterectomy, I think you will fee so much better. I wouldn't necessarily say that a LAVH is no big deal but everyone heals differently so don't let someone elses experience intimidate you. Do as much prep as you can but in the end, you will need your family to help. 6 and 8 year olds can certainly help mommy, even if it is just to get you a glass of water or pick things up. Don't overdue it and make sure you are very clear with your husband on what you need. You'll do great!

Hi DaisyAmy,

The biopsy isn't terrible it is done at the doctor's office and just make sure to take some IBUprofen before hand.
I am in a similar situation my family doesn't live close by me either, my kids are 15, 4, and 5 months. My 15 is active in sports so she on the go constantly! So, I have had the same overwhelming feeling you are. It really sounds like you have started to prepare and that you are on the right track. Kids are so amazing and they love to help so maybe make baskets with their snacks, lunches, and even activities that will keep them busy when you are resting (I am not sure when school starts for them). Sending you lots of hugs!

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Originally Posted by Cast765 Hi DaisyAmy, The biopsy isn't terrible it is done at the doctor's office and just make sure to take some IBUprofen before hand. I am in a similar situation my family doesn't live close by me either, my kids are 15, 4, and 5 months. My 15 is active in sports so she on the go constantly! So, I have had the same overwhelming feeling you are. It really sounds like you have started to prepare and that you are on the right track. Kids are so amazing and they love to help so maybe make baskets with their snacks, lunches, and even activities that will keep them busy when you are resting (I am not sure when school starts for them). Sending you lots of hugs!

We homeschool but they are in karate and may be playing fall baseball. In one way it's good they are around to help but I still feel like I need to be doing things to keep them entertained and such.

Thanks you all for making me feel like I'm doing the right things to prepare.

I would ask my husband to come to the pre-op so he could hear first hand that this surgery isn't 'no big deal', and to expect you to be up on your feet and doing everything you always do within days is completely unrealistic. My husband asked me how long he'll need to keep up the house and I told him "Until. It might be 2 weeks, it might be 6. I'll do what I can when I can but don't expect anything for awhile". My baby is 19 though and I told him the same.

I wouldn't worry about the biopsy though. Yes it hurts, I felt like I was kicked in the gut when I had mine done. But the pain is quick to dissipate. My gyno just told me to lay down for a few minutes so I wouldn't get dizzy, then I was able to drive myself home an hour away. Do take some ibuprofen though. I stopped on the way home for chocolate to make me feel better

I wanted to offer some advice. My two oldest are 8 and 6. In June I took 2 weeks and showed them how to do lots of housework. I had low expectations but I made a sticker chart and they got extra points by doing more than what was on their list. By doing this, they very eagerly volunteered to do things I didn't think they were capable of, and they were doing them very well. Within two weeks they were able to do everything right without assistance and surprisingly quickly.

It's been 6 weeks since then and their chores are just a normal part of the day for them. This is what they do:

8 year old, puts clean dishes away, vacuums, sweeps, washes windows, dusting, straightening up the bathroom, gather all the laundry, wash and dry, bring me the basket to fold, carry clean clothes up the stairs and put hers away, clean her bedroom, and make kid foods in the microwave. She chops soft fruits and makes meals for all the kids under supervision. She can also take my 3 year old to go potty and can get his clothes and things.

6 year old, cleans living room and dining room, entryway, takes out trash, cleans his room, puts all the folded towels away, and gets his own drinks and snacks. He also takes laundry upstairs, in smaller baskets. He can't put his clothes away because he shares a room with a 3 year old and their dressers are child locked.

All that is left for the grown up to do, is fold laundry, put the dishes in the dishwasher, put away the adults clothes, make dinner, give the 3 year old a bath, and clean our room.

We do this every day and we have all gotten so good at it that it all gets done in an hour. If we don't do it everyday it takes much longer. I ask them to do chores before we do something fun, like go outside or watch a movie. Those kids clean up quick.

You have received great advice.

All I would like to add - in addition to the suggestion to take (or drag/insist very nicely) Your dear husband to your next appointment to hear exactly what the doctor is saying - is please have him read this section titled Mister Hyster...just hit the link below.

It was written for spouses, partners, parents, older children etc to really learn what surgery entails.

Mister Hyster

This section explains surgery, and gives a great overview how he can and should support you.

Hugs and best of luck. You can and will this!

The biopsies aren't so bad. Just more of an annoying brief pain. I felt ok shortly after procedure. I also had the LAVH procedure and was pleasently surprised with how quickly the healing was and is. Everyone heals at her own pace though so just follow your body's signals. Your kids will be fine and can probably even help you.