Wondering and Wallowing.....

I'm three weeks post-op today. I noticed yesterday night that I have small lumps under two of my four incision sites. Is that normal? I hope I have not overdone it, and hoping one of my fellow sisters can share..
Additionally I noticed at several sisters have gas still.. Got to thinking that the menstrual like cramps that I have been sending me back to taking pain medications may actually be gas, I just don't know the difference. Bought some GasX which others had recommended, if my theory is correct, I'll share.
Lastly, why can't we as women enjoy the down time?? I had the best intentions of using this six weeks for self growth, yet I find myself fighting to keep my thoughts from drifting off into complaints of boredom, being away from work, sitting around getting no exercise. It's ridiculous that I am unable to maintain control of myself. I ached to be active, so decided that a bike ride would be safe, all lower body driven, then felt like a jerk for not abiding doctors orders... Life is to short for such wallowing and arguments with my inner critic

The small lumps under the incisions may be pieces of the stitches dissolving. The incisions may get a little red and irritated and even open up some. That happened to me both times I had lap. surgery. Once the incisions opened the pieces came out and the incisions closed right back up and finished healing. Good luck.

I haven't noticed anything with my incisions, but I, too, wanted to use this time for self reflection and instead am bored and can't concentrate. I chalk it up to thinking I wanted all of this time, but really I just want some time in my regular, interesting, full life to have some "guilt-free" time to pursue self-improvement! haha Plus I feel I do my best thinking while I am out walking or hiking or biking...things we can't do a lot of now without thinking about how our body is feeling and not overdoing it. 'Just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one out there "wondering and wallowing" (I love that!). :

Thank you Maine-iac and thank you Carylou for the feed back, it's greatly appreciated. Much love and joy to the both of you~

This thread has captured exactly what I've been feeling. Thanks for the validation, ladies.

Oh yes. I had so many fantasies about how I would use this time... to make a quilt, clean out my home office and do filing, even do some gentle yoga.

Am I doing any of it? Of course not! Those fantasies were before I knew anything about how hard this is ... the reality of managing pain and trying to heal, the limits on lifting, the forceful reaction of my body against anything that is remotely out of bounds...

I tell myself that guilt is forbidden since it really is emotional garbage that needs to be put out with the trash.

Reality check: Right now our job is to let our bodies heal so that we recover completely. Anything else that we accomplish is simply heroic!

Lucy#7 ~ I wholeheartedly agree! Guilt is not allowed at my house and thankfully my hubs and girls are very compassionate and don't make me feel guilty at all. I think that it was coming from myself the first few weeks post op, but no more! I keep thinking that those projects will still be there when I'm feeling fine and energetic and the way to get to that place is to rest and heal!

Have a great day ladies!

I'm now grappling with whether to take more time off or not. I'm back to work this week (2 weeks post op) for half days and have the option to use short term disability if I feel I need it next week. I guess I just need to see how I feel then. I wish I was able to turn away from the guilt involved with knowing others aren't able to do my job and there are people not getting services because I'm out "healing". I work with victims of violent crime and when I'm not here, someone might not get the help they need when it's needed. It's a whole different level of guilt for me. I'm always taking care of everyone else. I guess I don't really know how to take care of me!

I love that philosophy Lucy#7. Carylou I'm glad that you are getting the support of your family to keep the guilt at bay, its hard but a bit easier with support.
pinkribbonwendy, I too provide a public service and understand how you are feeling. As a person who always puts others first, it's hard to be still, it's hard to accept help. If you do not take the time recommended by your doctor for recovery, you risk further injury and increased time off in the future. How can you expect to give others your compassion when you don't allow the same for yourself? You need to be 100% or your efforts to help others will not be successful to he point you intend them to be. Please pause and heal, much love to you~

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Originally Posted by Pinkribbonwendi I'm now grappling with whether to take more time off or not. I'm back to work this week (2 weeks post op) for half days and have the option to use short term disability if I feel I need it next week. I guess I just need to see how I feel then. I wish I was able to turn away from the guilt involved with knowing others aren't able to do my job and there are people not getting services because I'm out "healing". I work with victims of violent crime and when I'm not here, someone might not get the help they need when it's needed. It's a whole different level of guilt for me. I'm always taking care of everyone else. I guess I don't really know how to take care of me!

This is clearly a hard passage for you. Wish I knew more words to help.

The whole process of healing reminds me of the instructions we get when we fly: If the oxygen masks drop and you're traveling with an infant or invalid, you have to put your own mask on first and then theirs. Yourself first, then others. Saving yourself is the key to saving them.

When I trained as a life coach some years ago, what they told us was that you have to inhale before you exhale. Nobody gets to exhale (or take care of others) all the time... it just isn't possible.

In the current situation, you risk delaying your healing and possibly causing complications if you do too much too soon. Some of those complications could send you back to the hospital. Then what would happen to all those clients?

Remember, first you take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others later.