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Feeling so alone and depressed Feeling so alone and depressed

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Unread 08-09-2008, 07:20 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

You sound like a strong woman. All Your sister feel the same at some point.We do know what you are going through. Age is just a number.Do what you got to do. No one can understand what we go through unless they have been there to. That's what makes this site so special. Even though we never meet in person just know we are all in this TOGETHER! Believe me I know I have eight older sisters and for some reason I can vent on this site and chat with my hyster sisters in a way I never could do with my family. CHEERS to you girl. It will be ok and you will get through this. Anytime you need to vent DO IT. We will always be here for YOU!!
((HUGS)) Pam
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Unread 08-10-2008, 10:00 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

Originally Posted by leekelhank
AAAH! My common sister! How I wish I had someone like you here in Florida! You cant be my mom can you, Oh my I can! And if I was you would be a grandma, isnt that funny? Plus my "brother" would be younger then my own kids! This is too funny! I do appreciate you being there for me, I didnt realize how much I looked forward to our PM's till today. Its nice to know there is someone who understans. I am sorry the meds are keeping you awake, if it helps I am on here till like 2 or 3 too!
Ok, so did you have to rub it in that I COULD truly be your mom?? I prefer to be your incommon sister. It's amazing how a website could bring a 25 yr old and a 41 yr old together with so much in common besides our upcoming surgeries. And when you decide you will rent me one of your houses I will move down there ok?? Until then stop rubbing it in where you live! lol Try not to worry, I know its easier said then done, but still try, ok? Hugs from your SISTER( not mother) up North!!
Unread 08-12-2008, 06:58 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

Originally Posted by nmlwa41
Ok, so did you have to rub it in that I COULD truly be your mom?? I prefer to be your incommon sister. It's amazing how a website could bring a 25 yr old and a 41 yr old together with so much in common besides our upcoming surgeries. And when you decide you will rent me one of your houses I will move down there ok?? Until then stop rubbing it in where you live! lol Try not to worry, I know its easier said then done, but still try, ok? Hugs from your SISTER( not mother) up North!!
Kim, if it makes you feel better....when I was 25, my real sister was 41. Very true. There are only two of us...so no other sibs between us.
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Unread 08-13-2008, 12:27 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

I completely understand what you are saying! I am 29 and dealing with the same thing. I keep hearing, "what if something happens to your son, don't you want to have another one?" as if you can have more children to replace what you have lost. And, "you are so young, you will be just fine". I can't remember waking up in the morning and feeling good. I don't want to have surgery and I'm so scared about the process, but I'm willing to do it to get my life back as a mother, wife, and woman. And, we do not have only surgery to worry about - but hot flashes, and surgically induced menapause in our 20's, and HRT, and weight gain, intimate times not being the same, the list goes on and on.

It is hard to talk to any of my friends about this, because they don't deal with the same problems. It's been like that as long as I can remember. I can remember being 16 in high school, and being doubled over throwing up from hurting so bad, and no one understanding why my periods hurt so badly. I can also remember my first mother in law offering me red wine - thinking everything was "nerves" (a great thing to offer a recovering addict!). I'm SOOO glad I found this site, it has helped a lot with my anxiety about the actual surgery.

This is such a great site - it helps those of use who are afraid, or who just need to blow off steam. If you ever need to yell, complain, vent, or whine, I know I will be here! Hugs from Missouri - I hope everything gets better.
Unread 08-13-2008, 03:47 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

Oh thank you so much for replying! I have felt the same things you have during my school years. I had my period on my tenth birthday, I wasnt even in middle school yet. I remember hiding my pads from the other girls, or not being able to go to school for days. I have two kids and ppl always say dont you want more, I always reply, no thank I am not suicidal. It breaks up the seriousness of it and then laugh. Then I say, I am greatful to have two kids I couldnt have asked for more. But seriously, why does everyone want you to pop out kids when you are our age? Its insane! I had severe PPD with both of my children, and I would never get pregnant again, even if I could! I like you dont want to have surgery, but I do want to start being normal, and not having high's and low's. I want to get closer with my DH and children. Right now I have to shut them out when I am balling over in pain. I am scared of the surgery, but excited to start a normal life. I cannot have HRT's for a about 6 months or a year. I am going to pray that god just get me through it. After all I have been through I think I can hang on for a few more months, to be completely free from this nasty,debilatating, uncurable disease. I pray everyday that my daughter does not inherit this little monster. But if she does, I hope science has been advanced enought to cure this disease. It will be nice to talk to another youngen going through the same thing.
Unread 08-13-2008, 11:22 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

After reading your initial post and a few responses I have to say that I think you might need to accept that most people your age are not going to understand. You seem to have very strong opinions, and I would just let your sister and friends comments bounce right off you.
I, like you have had problems since 13 years old. I am 37 having a LSH monday.. I think (ok- know) I am young for this, but is about quality of life for me today. I don't care what others think.

Hang in there.. maybe try to back off a little with your focus on the surgery- it will help everyone....... who knows.. just a thought.
Unread 08-13-2008, 11:51 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

Actually since reading some of the post, I have blocked out anyone who has said anything negative to me about the surgery. If they call, I dont answer, period. And let me tell you something my life has been SO much better! See what I didnt say in my prior posts about my sisters and friends is that I am always the one doing stuff for them,. And now that I wasnt going to be able to watch kids for free, do their budgets, help them with their business etc, they seem to be resenting me. They liked to think that since I wasnt working , I could do anything for them whenever they needed.Now when they ask I simply say no I cant, I dont feel good. And I wont feel good for a long time. Today I went to my preop all by myself, no mom or DH, I figured this is for me and I dont need to depend on anyone else. I went and felt proud to have done it. I am not mad at my DH or mom at all, they will be taking care of me as I recover, but the point is since I last posted, I remembered that I was doing this for me, just like when I got married, had kids and chose not to go to college. Those decisions turned out great, and even though the possiblity of going back to school is always there, having children would have not been. I learned now to trust in myself and my decisions. I have always had strong opinions but if I wasnt as vocal as I am, I wouldnt have gotten so far in life. The truth is, I had friends that needed me and when I needed them, they couldnt handle it. I never needed anyones approval or concern in the past, and I am certainly not going to let it get to me done now. I am starting a new life, with new friends, and hopefully a new journey. After all I look at my babies, and I think, if I would have listenend to everyone else, they wouldnt be here. I thank God everyday, for the blessings he has given me and thank him for choosing me to be a stong minded women. I dont think my family would be anywhere if it wasnt for my will to want more and expect better for myself and them.
Unread 08-13-2008, 11:59 PM
Feeling so alone and depressed

Kelly - Unfortunately at times of need is when we find out who our friends really are. When I went in for my TAH I had a group of 5 friends and ended up with a great friend and 4 acquaintances (sp?).

I have been having problems since I was 12 in which my mother did not understand since her and my 4 sisters have not had any problems. I started thinking maybe I was crazy and lived with it for years after a couple of pregnancies and only 1 child I finally realized it was not just in my head. My insides where sick and getting sicker. That is why I did what I needed to do just as you are. It seems like your DH is there for you even though he is not a female give him the opportunity to greive with you, be your "rock" and pamper you during recovery.

I fought the age thing my entire teenage and adult life as well, I wish I could say it changes after you hit 30 however it doesnt. I had the opportunity to become what I consider successful (great husband, wonderful son and awesome career) at the young age of 22. I received the "your how old" from the majority of my employees and not to mention my sons teachers even (I was fortunate to put him in private school). Be proud of what you have done, where you have been and where you are going.

C Sections and TAH is not the same I had both - the incision might seem the same however what they do inside is absolutely no comparison!!!

I am only 3 weeks post op and still having my ups and downs however I can tell you this I feel better than I have felt in YEARS - I am going to be able to keep up with my teenage son and actually enjoy life. My biggest relief is I realized I needed to have this done at such a YOUNG age.

Keep in touch my fellow Floridian
Unread 08-14-2008, 09:37 AM
Feeling so alone and depressed

YOU GO GIRL!! Don't let anyone get you down
Unread 08-14-2008, 09:44 AM
Feeling so alone and depressed

That is funny that you mention teachers asking you, "How old are you?" I go through this every year with my son. He is in 2nd grade, and this year everyone of the parents in his class look to be around 40- late 50's. One of them even said, are you his nanny? I live in a very, richie rich town. So everyone has a nanny etc. Not me we are only here because my DH is a police officer, we are not richie rich. But anyway, I am puerto rican, and my son has very pale skin and blonde hair. So they all assume I am his "nanny", or housekeeper. I have learned to laugh it off after all these years, and I just say no I am his mom. Then they say, How old are you? And I say old enough to be his mom. Some of them will even ask, his step mom? People are so thoughtless sometimes. I dont have those problems with my DD because she looks identical to me, she doesnt even look half white. Which makes everyone even more curious when they see her and my DS. LOL! I am feeling much better lately, now I just want to get the surgery over with, I ask my Dr if he could come to my house and sedate me the night before. Then he asked if I was going to show up to the hospital, I ws like OF COURSE!

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