How much help with children will I need?

Hi ,

I'm scheduled for Laproscopic Hysterectomy on Aug 19th, removing my uterus and cervix. My mother in law was planning on staying with me to help out with my almost 5 and 7 year old children. She recently fell and fractured her pelvis.

My question is, will I be ok alone some part of the days?

19th & 20th, I have the kids 100% covered with my step mother
21, 22, and 23, I have someone who can come 11-3 , (my husband is gone from 7:30-6:30)

Then the following week of the 26th, i'll be alone with my kids since I won't be able to drive them to daycare.

Do you think that I'll be ok? My kids are big enough that they can get lunch boxes out of the fridge & water bottles to drink. Or is it better to drive the 2 miles to daycare 7 days post op?

I'd love advice. I've spoken to my dr and don't feel that postponing is a good option for me.

Thanks!

It's very likely that you won't be able to "drive the 2 miles to daycare 7 days post op." There are two factors. One is that you might still be on narcotic pain meds. The other is that before you can drive, you need to be able to stomp hard on the brake pedal in an emergency *without pain*, because pain will cause you to hesitate in a crisis.

At 5 and 7, a lot depends on how self-motivated your kids are. Sure, they can get their own lunch boxes and water bottles out of the fridge, but can they keep themselves entertained quietly and safely? During the first two weeks of your recovery period, you're going to need a lot of rest, including naps. Are the kids going to be able to understand this and help make it happen?

I had four younger siblings growing up, and the answer to this question would have been different for each one of us! You know your own kids best. :-)

Consider sitting down with them beforehand and coming up with some fun projects/activities that they can work on while Mumma's resting after her surgery.

I have a 5, 9 and 15 year old and although my 15 year old daughter is like a second mother, or so she thinks lol, she has a hectic school schedule, dances and works so she wont be around to help with the boys. Hubby works 8-5 so Saturdays, I'll have at least the 5 year old unless my mom tkaes him which I'm sure she will for the first few weeks.

What I've been doing is talking to him about the recovery and having him be more independent, fixing his own snacks and getting his pre-made lunches and I bought juice boxes so he can get that himself as well. I've spoiled him up to this point so he was never doing this on his own But it seems to be working well. As for naps, I give him my iPad and he gets in bed with me when I'm not feeling well now and he does reading apps and games while I rest.

Honestly, I think you'd be fine. Your children aren't babies or toddlers and should be capable of keeping themselves entertained and fed with a little supervision.

At one week, I was very capable of driving short distances and also of making simple meals and doing easy household chores.

My kids are older, 11, 9 and 7 and my husband is helping me this week. I have the kids at day camp this week as well (9-3). They do exhaust me. They want me better now. Even just asking about their day makes me tired. I feel really bad I just don't hav the energy for them. I say hi and then ask them to let me rest. I feel like a terrible mom . But I know it won't be forever. They are old enough to keep themselves busy and fed nd DH drives our dancer to her classes and rehersals.

Since I had DvH I'm hoping I feel better next week as DH as to get back to work. You ay want to consider day care if you are feeling especially tired or if you have an abdominal surgery.

Hi! I have a one year old and a seven year old and for the first two weeks I needed help. My husband took a week off and then my mother in law took the second week. I was pretty sore. Your not going to be able to drive for seven days or maybe more depending on what your doctor says. I wasn't worried about my seven year but my one year old I was worried but I had help with her. You don't want to over do it. As long as you don't do any lifting or bending over you should be ok but get the help when you can. I think the reason why my recovery was easy was because I had help from my husband and in laws.

My son is 11 and has been a star. However we did have moments of 'urrhhh why do I have to wash up and hoover again!!', lol.
If its at all possible do you know a local taxi / cab firm who you can get the trust built up with the children to have them travel to the day care centre on their own. You won't feel like 'making yourself pretty' and if you did it will take forever with fatigue and two children to get ready too. You could go with them loads prior to your op to get them used to the 'same' car and cab driver they will be having when you're not travelling with them. This would be a huge mile stone of 'big kids' that they will be so proud to be given the responsibility by you. You can arrange for the day care centre to ring you when they arrive and ring you when they are collected by the 'same' driver you have nominated to them. You will then be able to rest, doze, shower and get dressed to welcome everyone home in the afternoon and you'be not put your recovery back or pushed it too much either..... The kids will love all the activities too. Wishing you a speedy recovery too. X

my kids are 22, 13, and 9. My 22 yr old is on his own BUT obviously the 13 and 9 yr old are home. They are looking forward to "taking care of mommy" after my surgery. They have already picked out boardgames and planning on what movies and snacks we are going to need. We have a book picked out that we are going to read as well.
My husband will be home the day of my surgery and the day after
My mother-in-law will be with me for a couple days
I have my neice (17yrs) on call in case the kiddies get cabin fever and need to get out for a bit.