dVH/RALH: Dealing with family's "no big deal" attitude

I'm 49, and scheduled for dVH/RALH on March 14th. I haven't really told a lot of people about my upcoming surgery, but the ones I have told (mostly family) have the attitude that this is no big deal. Except my hubby, he's been awesome! My (adult!) daughter actually rolled her eyes at me yesterday. She's my health care proxy, so I have to discuss things with her.I'm really nervous and am tired of being waved off or told that I'm lucky. It's making it harder to deal with. Anyone have any ideas about how to make them understand that, to me, this is a big deal?

My family (except my husband) thinks its no big deal and I'll be fine in a few days. They think I'm overreacting and being dramatic. Maybe have you daughter go with you to speak with the dr about the surgery/recovery. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Hugs. Hang in there.

People tell you that you are lucky? Wow, I've never been told I'm lucky to have to have major surgery! This surgery is a big deal both physically and emotionally. Your daughter needs a little edification. Perhaps you could persuade her to read some of the info on this site. There are several good articles she (and others) could read. Mister HysterSisters might also be a good resource for your family. Give it a look and see if you think that may help. And as Jackie said, since your daughter is your healthcare proxy, you should have her meet with your doctor, and have him/her explain the recovery process and limitations.

I think sometimes when people hear "laproscopic" surgery, they think of knee surgery or similar. A hysterectomy, regardless of method, is still major surgery and you will be under general anesthesia. Despite what the surgeons say, you will have a considerable recovery period. For them, recovery means that your incision has healed. We all know that there is a lot more to it than that. I feel like I had a near-perfect surgical experience, (daVinci Total hysterectomy with lymph node removal). but I still took a month off work due to lack of strength,energy and mental focus, much of which I attribute to the anesthesia and the huge shock to the system of major surgery. Three months out and I am finally feeling almost like myself again. Noticed that I was walking fast again last week! Don't be lulled by that first week when you feel great! Take care of yourself, follow your discharge instructions, take it easy.

Thank you everyone. Actually my daughter is coming with me to my pre-op appt, so that should help. I think Josie is right. "Laproscopic" makes people think it's minor surgery. I am blessed to have a wonderful, supportive husband. I will check out the Mister HysterSister's for info for the rest of my family. Elsie, the "lucky" comment pertained to having no more periods. It still felt dismissive to me. I just wish I didn't have to wait so long for the surgery. Way too much time to dwell on all the complications that could happen!

efp1963, I feel lucky not to have any more periods but there are plenty of women here who don't feel so lucky about that. At first I didn't feel so lucky. I felt out of synch with everything, and at first I was mourning the loss of my reproductive system, and the finality of it all. It was a little freaky to come up on the date I would have had my period and have no symptoms at all. I have to admit walking by the femine products aisle without stopping is a good feeling now!

Please don't dwell on the complications. It is good to be fully informed before heading into a surgery, but dwelling takes a whole lot of energy. Some sisters literally worry themselves sick. My advice is to keep busy. You have a lot to do to prepare for this surgery. Make lists, and keep your mind on what you need to have a good recovery. If you are able to exercise, do. Most of us don't have complications. Read the success stories on this site. And treat yourself to a massage, or a pedicure. I think you are sort of joking, and it is absolutely normal to worry some, but don't let worry sap your energy. Take good care of yourself!