Is it normal to feel guilty? (Long post)

I have been dealing with pelvic pain for on and off for the last six years. I've had menstrual problems that started at age 14. Heavy bleeding, clots, cramps, diarrhea, and pain. I am now 28 and just can't stand the pain anymore. It is to the point now where I hurt every day, and by the end of the day I am walking half bent over from the pain. I can't focus on anything and I am not sleeping well due to the fact that I can't get comfortable for very long.
Five and a half years ago I started bleeding at least 15 to 20 days out of the month. Not spotting, mind you, but bleeding so heavily that I was scared to leave the house for longer than an hour at at time for fear of "the flood". I'd already tried round after round of birth control pill, and was currently on Depo vera. I then was put on Lupron for six months. This did nothing but make the bleeding worse. My Dr. did a laproscopy and said that it was endometrois. I had a diagnosis, but he never really did anything after that except suggest more hormones. I'd had enough by this point, and decided that I just had to live with it. For the next few years, I had periods where I went a while and had no pain, and periods when I wished I could let the Earth swallow me whole.
I got pregnant and had my daughter in 2005, and had my tubes tied before I left the hospital. After a few months, the bleeding was back and so was the pain. Now I was bleeding at least 20 days EVERY month. I went to a new DR. and he did an ablation, a D&C, hysteroscopy, laproscopy, lasered off adhesions, and removed part of my left fallopian tube . I had about a year and a half of feeling great. No pain, no periods, no more pain during sex. I thought that I finally found a permanent solution.
Now, here I am again with the horrible pain. No bleeding (some spotting after sex, but no floods), but I have a constant stabbing pain in my left lower abdomen. Getting up from a sitting position is the worst. Dr. did TV ultrasound and said I have fibroids. Hysterectomy recommended. I thought about it for a week, and said ok. The office called last Friday and I am scheduled for Nov. 21st.
My DH has been great through the last few years, but I really think he is starting to resent me. He has not said one cross word to me, and supports me with the surgery, but I just feel like I am such a burden on him. He's the one that has to take off time from work to take care of me. All of the stuff I normally do (shopping, cooking, cleaning, the kids, etc) will be left up to him. I also know that he is worried about money, especially with the holidays coming up.
I'm scared to death of this surgery for some reason. It's unrational of me to be this scared, I know that when it's over I'll be free from pain, but I am terrified. I talk to my DH some, but I really can't let him know the degree of fear and guilt I feel for putting my family through all of this. I am very close to just cancelling this whole thing. Not because I feel as though this isn't the right choice for me (I really have no other options to get rid of this pain), but becuase I feel like a first class jerk for making everyone else put their lives on hold because of me. I'm sorry this is so long, but has anyone else had these guilty feelings?
It feels good to get some of these thoughts onto paper and out of my head.

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Originally Posted by miserable1 I feel like a first class jerk for making everyone else put their lives on hold because of me. I'm sorry this is so long, but has anyone else had these guilty feelings?

It sounds like you have been through a lot, and that's a shame. But coming from someone much older than you, trust me that as the years go on it will come to pass that almost everyone in your orbit (family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc.) will have their time(s) of need. You will likely be called on to assist those who need help. You will be the source of comfort; you will drive patients to the hospital; it will be you that sits in the hospital waiting room for hours; you will go "above and beyond the call of duty" to help others in their time of disability. In the long run, these things tend to "even out."

Take the opportunity and time you need to become the best "you" that you can be. In the end, it will benefit everyone.