Pre op mixed bag of emotions

My surgery is scheduled for Thursday, August 15, 2013. I am feeling overwhelmed. The feeling of never having children makes me feel incomplete. It's one thing for me to say at my age (48) I am not going have children. Knowing that I am about to have a procedure that will make my statement a reality makes me feel incomplete.I want to cry; I am confused because I want to cancel my surgery and just get the four fibroid removed. But I do not want the risk of them returning. I am nervous because I do not know what to expect after post op. UUUUGGGHH! I am on an emotional roller coaster. Does anyone have pre op jitters?

I certainly have jitters my surg is next week I am 47 I do have children by I am wondering how I will feel emotionally physically And hormonally after surg that and I am petrified of being put to sleep

Hi ladies I'm 10 days post op and I was absolutely freaked out before my surgery. I made the mistake of reading the post op boards and all I could focus on was the what ifs. I'm here to tell you that it's really been a pretty smooth recovery! The first few days were pretty ouchy but nothing good pain meds won't help. My biggest complaint is that I'm a bit emotional at times but I think that's pretty normal due to the HRT. Surround yourself with lots of friends and family and the support of your hystersisters and just breathe! You will get through this I promise! Best wishes!

I was nearly crazy from pre-op jitters. You name it, I was worried about it. Really, really worried about it. I'm now four days post-op, and the worrying beforehand was BY FAR the worst of it. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have worried.

My pre-op experience at the hospital was okay. I had to wait in the waiting room longer than I thought I would, and with being nervous, the minutes crawled by. But really: that wasn't THAT bad. Once back in the pre-op area, things went smoothly until the nurse had a hard time getting the IV needle in. I'd been so nervous in the 48 hours before that I'd dehydrated myself. I was just sick with nerves and didn't drink enough fluids before the cut-off time (the previous midnight). With the needle problem, I was already so on edge that I started to cry: like a faucet out of both eyes. Next thing I knew, there was a crowd of people in my little area, problem solving the "situation." As soon as they saw what the problem was, they told me they called a woman they laughingly called the queen of getting these IVs in easily. They told me I was gonna love her (and they were right!). She came in minutes with a shot of lidocaine and a FAST technique. In about 15 seconds or less, with zero pain for me, she had the needle in and the tube flowing beautifully. The staff was obviously interested in patient comfort and were watching: I cried quietly, so they must've been looking. Patient meltdown? Instant response.

The surgery went great. I did not wake up sick (a huge fear); I did not wake up in pain (another huge fear); my pain was managed extremely well during the 24+ hours I stayed in the hospital (huge fear). Tip: I was told to express my concerns in my pre-op appointments. I did. I told the nurse who interviewed me I was very, very afraid of post-operative pain, and I told anesthesia I was very, very afraid of waking up sick. A person from anesthesia came by my hospital room the next afternoon to get feedback on how well their attempts to control post-operative nausea and vomiting worked. I told them whatever they did worked beautifully: I had not even a TWINGE of nausea. Nothing.

I was cared for very, very well in the hospital (another fear). The nurses were very, very nice (another fear). I was not left writhing in pain and incapacitated (a big fear).

Getting the catheter out the next morning was easy (another fear). Getting up to use the bathroom myself was easy (another fear).

I was kept comfortable at all times. I was ready to go home, and the actions leading up to getting there (eating food, using the bathroom on my own, tolerating oral pain meds) all went well.

At home, I've rested, walked, eaten. I did have some constipation-related discomfort, but I got great advice for how to handle that in the post-op forum here, and I'm much better now.

I, too, had that feeling of being incomplete because I never had children. I'm 55. I wasn't GOING to have any at this point anyway, but having my uterus out made it, as you put it, so...real. Unable to brush the thought away any more: I scientifically, organically, bodily CANNOT have children now. That's it. But now? I'm not incomplete. A friend who counseled me told me some of us have different paths than the motherhood path. It doesn't mean we're less complete; it means we're meant to do something else. It's not easy being off the motherhood path: our society surrounds us with "motherhood." Get among a group of women, and what are they likely talking about? Their kids. They turn to me and say, "And how many do you have?" Ugh. SO uncomfortable having to say, "Uh, none." I'm married now to a man who has a son, so my answer has turned into, "Uh, none, but my husband has a son."

For several minutes in my pre-op appointment, I was sitting on the exam table with a sheet over my lap waiting for my doc to come in. In front of me on the wall was a huge poster of a pregnant woman showing the baby inside her. I stared and stared at that poster. I'm glad I didn't start crying. Acceptance had graced me for that time. I remember thinking, "This is what it is. If I were meant to be that woman in the poster, I would have been." And I focused on the health benefits I was going to receive by having this surgery.

It's such a personal decision. I could have gone the drugs-and-re-check-every-three-months, but at 55, why put myself through that while walking around with a threat of cancer? For me, I decided to move on to a new chapter: me, no uterus, no children--but healthier. And I'm going to turn to others to see how I can lend a hand. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do: be there somehow for someone in a DIFFERENT way than the way moms are there for their kids.

The weeks leading up to my surgery were SO emotional. You are definitely not alone; there are many, many others here who have gone through what you're going through. Remember: my worries were MUCH WORSE than my hospital experience and post-op experience at home. I can't believe I put myself through the wringer like that--but that's me! Fear monger!

Hugs: you'll be fine! Come on across that bridge; we're all cheering you on and waiting for you on the other side.

AmberReds, sending you comforting hugs.. Having pre op jitters is a normal part of the process! I was a mess the week before surgery - mostly about anesthesia as this was my first major surgery. I was very up front about all my concerns and fears and my surgical team literally took me by the hand and walked me through the whole journey. Right from my pre-op consult with the gyn/onc to my 1 and only follow up appt this last Friday, 5 1/2 weeks post op - no complications and doing great - easy recovery etc..

We are here for you too. It's a big surgery..both physically and emotionally, but we get through it. One day at a time. I'm 47, no kids, had my surgery last month. I had accepted the fact of no kids several years ago too, but..I do have to say..the surgery did make that feeling a little more real, but it didn't change the facts in the big picture. I just had to keep thinking of the positives of the surgery. For me it was a potential cancer risk. Thankfully, my pathology came back with a NO Cancer result and I'm grateful for that.

If you are still having doubts and you're not in dire need of the surgery at this very moment, there's still time to say "hold up a bit" and get a 2nd or 3rd opinion. Weigh the positives vs the negatives. Which I'm sure you probably already have or you wouldn't have scheduled the surgery.

That being said, all your feelings could just be the nervous anxiousness of it all. When I had my pre-op I expressed my nervousness, and they were able to give me something for anxiety and to help me sleep better for the week before my surgery. So don't be afraid to call your Dr and ask for help with that sort of thing either.

Good Luck with what ever you decide - we are here for you! Wishing you peace and comfort!

Hello....I am 39 and scheduled for surgery on September 24th. I too am thinking the same thing about not having any children. My husband and I have tried many forms of conceiving with no success and with my endometriosis and 4 fibroids I keep telling myself that being pain free for once is better for my health and sanity! I also keep telling myself I am never too old to adopt. Best of luck!

Thank you all I think I have read to many post op posts and that is a big part of my fear I can't get over that it is next week the worrying is getting worse but I am trying to stay busy and get ready cant wait to be on the other side this website is a godsend I love all the sisters here

When I finished reading your experiences, I feel more at ease. It's great to know that I am not alone on my emotional roller coaster. THANKS EVERYONE FOR THE WORDS OF COMFORT! I really needed that.

I am so glad to know I am not alone. I am so nervous I can not rest. Just cleaning and during laundry....for the first time since forever there will be no dirty clothes in this house....now that means I am seriously stressed out....

Hi there

I'm having my op on the same day as you. To be honest I'm a bit nervous too but I've just had a painful period - they've been getting worse over the last 6 months and I'm sooo not going to miss them.

I'm trying to focus on the positives like being able to be lazy post op without feeling guilty. Being able to read a book for longer than 10 minutes at a time, sitting in the sun doing nothing etc etc. Maybe you could try that too.

I have one child who is my little miracle but you have to remember that your life is a miracle too. You are precious and you deserve a better life which is what post surgery will be like.

Good luck with your op honey - I'm here if you need me pre and post op.