Stressed out and feeling nervous

I am scheduled for surgery on June 28. I will have a bladder and rectal suspension and a vaginal hysterectomy. My only other surgery was a five years old, when I had my tonsils removed.
I have three adult children and am a widow of six years. My sister is the only living relative I have left.
I don't want to be a burden or pain to my kids. My sister has a family of her own and lives 1 1/2 hours away. I need some sanity self-preservation skills, please!

Hi:

I saw your subject line and just had to reply to your post.

Our situations are/were different but can relate about the stressed out and nervous part.

I had my surgery on May 20. Prior to surgery, I was so scared, afraid, and nervous bc I didn't know what to expect. I had an emergency c-section about two years ago and it left me with all kinds of negative feelings and fears about surgery.

I was afraid that I would die during surgery, that I wouldn't wake up from anesthesia, about how my body would heal or not heal after surgery. I was afraid about how my daughter would react to mommy not being able to pick her up since she is just 2 and doesn't understand what is going on. I was afraid about how my husband would be able to deal with everything and if he would able to have enough vacation time to take care of all of us.

We don't have insurance. I was worried almost sick about how we would pay all of the ridiculous prices that the hospital and doctors charged. Thanks to God, we were able to receive financial aid from the hospital and receive help from close family for other medical expenses.

The point of all of this information is that you will be okay. You will have a successful surgery and will feel 110% better from it.

I am sure that your sister will not think that you are a burden and that she will be more than happy to help you with the beginnings of recovery.

Yes, she lives 2 hours away but my parents live about 1 1/2 hours away and are more than willing to help out. This is hard for them bc they have to take care of my granddad who requires alot of daily attention.

I also think your children will not feel that you are a burden if you ask them for help. I know that if my mom or dad needed help that I would do anything to help them out.

Please feel encouraged and know that you will be okay. If I with the Lord's help can make it through all of the stress and waiting of surgery then I have faith that you can too.

I wish you an uneventful surgery and a speedy recovery!

Good Luck.
Sincerely
Mustang 30

Hi there! Mustang gave you great advice. I'm certain that your sister and/or your children wouldn't mind seeing after you for your recovery time.

I'm not married, and I live in Alaska. I'm traveling to Indiana for my surgery and recovery at my parents' home. They absolutely insisted that I allow them to help me, and I'm sure that your family will feel the same way.

Hang in there, and best wishes to you!
s from Klia

((( MsMadigan ))) aw sweetie, I agree that you should let your loved ones help with your recovery. I think that sometimes we , as caregivers, forget how to accept help. Remember that you shouldn't be bedridden after your surgery. In fact, the nurse got me up the morning after my tah/bso and sent me to the shower! It was a verrrry long 8 - 10 feet but I made it After that, I walked the hospital halls every chance that I got.

Once home, what I needed help with most was someone to do the heavy work ( we have cats with litter boxes ), run errands and make sure that I ate and took my meds.

I precooked some meals and put them in the freezer, had cleaned and straightened the entire house, and so didn't have to worry about that. Some friends and family brought by more meals and checked on me too.

Please let your children and sister know how you feel and let them decide what they would like to do to help you. If you were my mother - I'd sure want to be there for you

Best wishes.

s

Yes, definitely let your family know. The previous post says it well. It's hard for caregivers to ask for help.

I don't normally share church stories, but . . .

I once heard a sermon on the Parable of the Good Samaritan. The minister talked about how the victim LET the good samaritan help him (they were enemies). He talked about the bravery of accepting help and allowing others to do for us.

So that being said, you'll want to have some help. I'm 3 1/2 weeks and while I 've done stuff for myself from the beginning, it is so nice to have someone there sometimes to get what I need and just "fluff" me and bring me ice cream!!!!!

My sons are all college age. They were glad when I asked for something concrete they could help with. They wanted to help but didn't know what to do.

Good luck!

Connie

Hi,
I was in a similar situation. I have an adult child (22) who still lives with me. My only living relatives are my sister and her family who live 3 hours away. I knew my sister would not be able to help during recovery. My BF lives about 20 mins away.

My daughter has been great during my recovery. She has taken over all the chores that we previously shared and never complained.

I reached out to friends and neighbors who are home during the day for assistance during the first weeks of recovery when I needed the most help. Something that I normally would never do, but realized that I had to. The people who told me prior to surgery to call them if I needed help, got a call. And they were all happy to assist. It took a load off BF and my daughter.