To independent to ask for help but crying on the inside!!!

How many of us women are just to afraid to let go of taking care of everything? Kids, husband, family, work, friends. Not to mention step children(2) and ex spouses(both of us blended families) some times it to much!!! I have been on this site so many times but I have never stopped to sign in as I never wanted anyone to know I was here...All of my life I have been the one to watch what is happening, take care of all who needed it, The shy,quite, woman but now all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs, See me!!! I am here!!! Something is wrong!!! I HURT!!! I know that with me some of my health issues will go away as my body becomes healthy but what do I do now...my baby girl (9) thinks monthly cycles are horrid and never wants one!! My boys 2--17 and 13 plus my dear husband of 3 years (bless them) do not have a choice when I complain about Brutus my uterus (Yes I had to name it) If this is giving me that much grief he better have a name. Now after a wonderful weekend with my family, Brutus shows up (thanks goodness he didn't this weekend and it was a waterpark fun filled weekend) rearing his ugly head this is to be my last cycle I hate it but in the same sense I am glad!!! This is the last time I will be hunched over waiting to use the bathroom becouse it feels like I am peeing, the last time I use overnite pads every time I go to the bathroom during the day and the of course the two overnite pads( I should have a diper instead) and a blanket under me so I won't ruin the matress at night!!! And of course work how do you call in and say, oh I am taking the day off cause (what) my cycle is horrid, what??? Most women can handle the cycle so now I feel that I CAN'T I just want to scream!!!!!! I do not feel like I am truley taking care of all which is what I am suppose to do...right????









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(((Hugs))) Don't be so hard on yourself. I totally understand where you're coming from, but this is something that is out of your control. I remember feeling, during that last cycle of mine (which lasted 2 months) that it was so unfair. I cried and screamed into my pillow many times.

I'm not sure what else to say but it does get better.

I can completely understand. I am the caretaker, I am the breadwinner and I am the one that fakes that everything is all ok. It is tough for them to see us in need, but it is a release that must take place. So we can't handle our cycles anymore (I am with you, sister!). It isn't normal. We must take our mask off and show them who we are. Let them take care of US. It doesn't make us any weaker...honestly.

Sending you hugs!

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TAH (everything) and Appendectomy (April 30th)