Very Scared

I am due to have a TAH on the 6th August and I am so scared, I can't sleep, I don't feel like eating or talking to anyone. I'm worried about my kids, how they will be without me for 4 days. I'm even worried that I won't wake up from the surgery, is this normal feeling or am I just worrying for no reason...should I be this worried???????????

Filiz

Hi Filiz, it's OK, we all worry a lot before the surgery. It's natural to imagine what might or might not happen. I was lucky, I didn't have much warning (about a week and a half) so not too much time to worry, but some sisters have months and months. Have you talked with your kids yet about your surgery? Mine were fine with it (I have 2 boys, 12 and 9) once I explained what was being removed and why, and that I would be healthier afterwards and more able to do things with them. I did explain that there would be some recovery time where they would have to help out, especially with lifting things. In fact, my older DS and I went to Japan for 2 weeks at 6 weeks post op and he had to carry the bags the whole time, but he understood and we still had a great time! Anyway you can arrange to talk with your kids often while you're apart. I used my cell phone to call my older DS from the hospital as soon as I was able (he was at school and I had made arrangements with his teachers to allow him to take this one call if I called during classes), and it eased his mind a lot. He then caught the younger one up on the details when they met after school. Younger ones seem a lot more willing to just accept that you say everything will be fine, it's the older ones that worry. You say that they will be away from you for only 4 days... do you have someone there to help out with them when they return? I couldn't have cared for mine alone during the first 2 weeks, and since I'm divorced they had to stay with their dad for that time. Please make sure you have help with you when they come back, OK? Good luck!
s,
-Linda

Hi Filiz,

You are certainly having normal feelings and have every right to them! One night before my surgery I couldn't sleep - it all just hit me and I was so scared and started to cry. My wonderful dear husband woke up and "made" me talk about what I was scared of. He told me the reason I was so scared was because I have so much to live for - and he's right. AND, he said I had to do the surgery so I would feel better for all of those wonderful things. And he was right! I don't know what your surgery is for, but whatever the reason, you will be so much better after it is done and over with. Try to focus on the ends, not the means to get there.

We're here for you! Come join us in chat for real time help and support. Best wishes!

Normal or not , being scared seems to be what we all do best! I still have 4 more days to wait & it seems days are getting longer. I try to stay so busy during the day that so I can sleep at night , it is helping. Hang in there we're all with you! HUgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go ahead and be worried if that's how you feel. Although if you're one of those people that make themselves sick with worry, then you might want to seriously distract yourself. But for me, I can only worry for so long then I get tired of it and have to do something else. Of course, the worry always come back for another round, but then it leaves again. Just go ahead and get it out of the way, talk to someone about it if you have someone who is a good listener, talk to your doctor, your nurse, your mom. And of course, talk here. Boy do I talk here, I think I have some of the longest posts!

I think we all get obsessed with what's coming up to varying degrees. I'm scared about the surgery, what will happen to me, but I I too am most worried about my kids. The week after I get out of the hospital my 12-year-old is going to have to be entirely responsible for my 5-year-old, because my 16 year old will still be out of town, and that doesn't seem fair. But I suppose it will help her grow up and be more compassionate and responsible. And boy will she deserve a special day or two, just for you. And so will I!

There's nothing really that can take away the worry. A script from your doctor might take the edge off. Or long walks. Or hot baths. Or I like to sit with a good movie. Just ride the waves, sweetie --

Good luck, and take care!

Teena

To the wonderful sisters who have sent me the lovely encouraging messages......Thank you all so much...I feel so much better after reading your wonderful messages, I have only just found this wonderful sight and already I am begining to feel so much better....with the support of my hystersisters, my great husband and family I now believe that I will get through this and be a much healthier, happier and stronger person in the end........Thanks again sisters.......good luck and lots of hugs to all of you.