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One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
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03-15-2014, 08:02 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: April 15th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
My surgery is April 15th. I reminded myself that I have to file a disability claim for this time off of work and it hit me...one month left.
I am still not at peace with this...I still don't want it...I still want kids that I know I can never naturally produce. I know I can adopt and probably will one day, but I wanted to experience pregnancy and having a child.
It seems that everyone I know is having a baby in the next couple of months, so I have not told most of them about the surgery.
I am afraid that I will change. I received the Lupron injection in late January. I am still having some side affects, but not as bad as before.
Lately I noticed that I have no patience. I feel really cranky and anxious. I am not sleeping well. I have nausea and the poops. My bones hurt. I feel really sad
Some days I just sit in my car and scream, cry...have my one way argument with God. I'm pretty sure He forgives me, but I keep having tantrums.
I keep asking for a miracle and PUFFF!!! no surgery. But I know better. The day will be here soon.
Some say that I will feel much better and be able to live a better quality of life. I can't see that right now.
All I know is that something will be missing and I don't want to let it go.
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03-15-2014, 09:05 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 121
Hysterectomy: November 28th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left...Still Scared
I am so sorry that you are really going through. Have you had a second opinion for the surgery?
Is surgery the only option? I pray that you get through this in whatever decision you make.
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03-16-2014, 02:03 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: April 15th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left...Still Scared
Hi Imblessed2,
I did get a second opinion before making the decision to have the surgery.
I also prayed a lot.
I was told my options by my GYN a week before Thanksgiving, but sought out a reproductive endocrinologist and had several tests performed over the next month and a half.
I know that medically this is the right choice, but I am still having a hard time.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
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03-16-2014, 09:58 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 493
Hysterectomy: April 14th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
I am so sorry. It is insanely hard to loose your reproductive organs, I fought for a long time to keep mine, it is about the last thing I wanted to happen. Personally, I need my life back, I can't believe how sick I am these days.
I wish you peace with your decision.
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03-16-2014, 10:07 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: April 11th, 2014
Surgery Type: DvH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
You mentioned you were on Lupron... Do you have endometriosis? Is that the reason for your hysterectomy? I ask because I too have endo...
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03-16-2014, 10:18 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 7
Hysterectomy: March 12th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I too had hoped to have a child, but I don't regret my surgery this past Wednesday. I am also surrounded by family and friends who are currently pregnant or recently have had babies. I know that God has a plan for me and that's how I got through it. I pray that you will find peace in whatever decision you make.
Good luck to you!
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03-16-2014, 10:45 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 61
Hysterectomy: April 15th, 2014
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Re: One Month Left Until Hysterectomy...Still Scared
Thanks to all of you for the responses.
@Mrs. Lewis, I am taking Lupron to shrink my fibroids before surgery.
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