stressed

Just needed to vent a little. My DH has been trying to get a job with his brother for the last 6 months.So on the day the dr decides to do the surgery, doesn't DH get a call telling him he got the job and he starts the following Monday, it isn't him getting the job, it's the fact that it's out of town(we live in PA, he'll be working in NJ, Mon.- Thurs.). My surgery is on a Wed. Now DH isn't sure he can get off work for the day of and the day after and his family has asked me to see if it can be rescheduled for on a friday so he doesn't have to miss work. I have already rescheduled it once due to the fact that his insurance is only good for 30 days from the day he quits, but if it is scheduled within that time all of my appts, surgery, etc. are covered under it until the dr releases me. He wants to be there but he doesn't want to jeopodize his job, being that it was scheduled before he actually started the new job shouldn't they legally have to let him have it off? Any input would be appriciated.

O Brother,
more stress is just what you don't need now, I don't know about legal things like this but couldn't your DH ask for the days off explaining that you are having major surgery and if he tells them he does not want to jeoperdize his job by taking time off so soon but he would surely appreciate it. All the can say is no, most people are understanding if asked right.

I went through it all alone, and it was tough but if you have too you can too, I think the insurance and your health are reasons not to reschudle this, If he has to work can family be with you? I know it is not the same but...
You have us too sending you lots of hugs and hope he gets the time off.
mary

i agree that it certainly wouldn't hurt for him to explain the situation to the new employer. y'know the old saying "it never hurts to ask".

if he absolutely can't be there, do you have somone to be with you for the day of the surgery? just someone for some support?

you'll probably be pretty drugged out the first couple of days in the hospital then he'll be back.

i worry about your first week home though. you'll need some help.

it is certainly NOT an ideal situation, but i think you can work something out.

very tired and must to bed. if i think of more i'll write, but i have tons to get done tomorrow and go to the castle at 6am tues.

off and on jitters.

you are in my prayers.

Well....it's an ill wind that blows no good, as they say. The up side here is that your DH has a job, which is a blessing. It does suck though that you may have to be alone in the castle on your big day. I had a TAH BSO 7 weeks ago so maybe I can ease a few of your concerns. The first 24 hours you're going to be prety much out of it anyway, trust me, there could have been a parade in my room and I wouldn't have known it.
I went from the castle to my Dad's house for 4 days and then came home. I live alone and I was able to shuffle around pretty well on my own. You will need help with chores and such though.
Good luck to you, I hope all goes well and I wish you a speedy recovery

Hi, I'm so sorry trhat you're in such a dilemma. I think that it shouldn't hurt for your dh to ask. The answer may be "no" but it certainly is if he doesn't ask

I think that I had to make a choice about rescheduling, the questions that I would be asking myself would be:
How long would I have to wait for it to be rescheduled? How long before or will insurance cover it then? Would my pain be bearable during the extra wait ( you've said that you're already on prescription meds - that sounds like a lot of pain ). Could I find someone to be there in my DH's place if he can't be there?

If you do decide to go ahead as scheduled it sounds like your dh will be able to be with you the weekend after your surgery and that would be good.

Maybe you should discuss the situation with your dr before you make a decision.

Best wishes, you're in a difficult spot. I wish I could do more than offer you some s

Thanks everyone for the support. My mother and sister said that they would both be there if he can't but to me it isn't the same. I know I'm whinning but it seems that it is all happening at once. This is the first time in the 5 years that we have been together, that we have been apart fo any length of time. I have a very supportive family and my in-laws are great to, I just miss having him home. Thanks again.

DH talked to his new boss about taking the time off. He could take it off but the time off would delay his insurance, union, ect. so he has decided not to take it off. I have accepted it even though it stinks, but my mom and sister will be there and he'll be there the day after my surgery.