I live alone - postop concerns, preop

Hi ladies,

I've had an ultrasound, which they couldn't even do properly because ALL they could see was at least one giant fibroid, and nothing else. Couldn't even find one ovary. I'm 6 years postmenopausal (I've been bleeding). Because of both these things, I'm assuming the doctor (my appt is the 16th) will advise a TAH, BSO and that I won't really have a choice.

Like many women, I live alone and have no one close by to stay with me or help me postop. I have two cats. At this point I'm sort of planning on boarding the kitties until I've been home a couple of weeks, because I'm afraid of tripping over them, and also they are very affectionate and want to be on me all the time, plus they often cause a ruckus on the bed, which I suspect I won't want when I've just come home. Not to mention cat box and feeding issues. However, that's an expense I'd rather not have, since I'll have other expenses.

I also live up a long flight of steep stairs, referred to by friends and I as the "stairs of death". Although I've read that it's okay to go up and down stairs soon after surgery, I'm wondering how good that would be for me during the first postop week. I've also thought about asking my doctor if I can stay in a convalescent hospital for the week after hospital discharge, just because of the live alone/stairs factor, and because I won't have access to anyone who can be there/take me anywhere. I'll pretty much have to rely on paid home help and the occasional friends' visit, for everything - groceries, post office, drug store, etc. and even Dr. appts, until I go back to work.

Even when I can drive, the 5 lb. rule would mean that I couldn't grocery shop because I couldn't get it upstairs without 6-8 trips, not a good thing.

I'd welcome any comments/suggestions on the pet issue, the stairs issue, the convalescent home issue, and any comments from those of you who also live alone with no help and have gone through this.

Thank you!

Vicki (Moonchilde)

Hi (((Vicki)))

I stayed with my mother 2 days post op, after that, I welcomed coming home. I do have a DD that helped me, however I made sure I was well prepared beforehand.

I stocked up on everything I needed so I wouldnt have to go to the store until at least a couple weeks post op. I made a list of things I thought I would need and got my home prepared. I made sure things I needed was at eye level so I wouldnt have to reach or risk injuring myself. I also put 'drinks' in single serve containers so I wouldnt have to even lift big jugs of juice/milk!

Since I didnt need pain meds, I called my doctor one week post op and she said it was fine to drive. She did say if I had been taking pain meds, that would be out of the question. So, my two week post op check up I drove there myself.

I have two dogs so letting them out to relieve themselves wasnt a problem, I put their food also in single serve baggies as well. I bought a big water container for them so I wouldnt have to keep refilling their water bowl. I was very careful with them jumping on me though. Luckily I had a TVH hysterecomy and didnt have the abdom. incision.
The stairs wasnt really and issue, however once I came home 2 days post op, I didnt leave for the first week. Got plenty of rest.

If staying at the home would make you feel better, by all means check into it, however with me.. the two days at my mothers was rough. Its hard for me to sleep anywhere but my own place.

I made sure the week before I mailed out all bills I needed to. By time I needed to mail anymore I was fine to drive and do my small errands. I would say for sure you will need help with groceries and cleaning out the litter box. I wouldnt bend over for the first week at all. I think the first couple of weeks are really critical and you need your rest.

My best suggestion is to well prepare yourself for the little things and stock up with supplies you may need. With being very well prepared, then the things you DO need help with, your family/friends will be able to help with those things.

Perhaps you can make a list of things you know you will need help with and when... and ask everyone to look at it and 'sign up' for those duties. I had one friend come over on Saturday and do my laundry, another friend came over on Wed night to check in and bring me magazines to look at. It works out better if you have some kind of schedule or time for them to help too!

Good luck and Happy healing,
Hugs...

Lisa

Hey Moonchilde ~ if you've given birth you might be a candidate for lap assisted instead of abdominal surgery. If at all possible, that's the way to go. Far easier healing period would be in store.

My doc said to avoid steps/stairs for the first 2 weeks. I have 3 steps inside my house that I go up/down frequently but I just took it slow. If you can cacoon (sp?) yourself in your place and avoid the stairs for at least the first week, you'll be better off. I wouldn't try going up and down "stairs of death" even now because I do occasionally get

Best wishes ~

I'd also recommend the cocoon option. I'm a REAL homebody, so I know it's VERY possible to stay at home alone without going out to the store or to run errands. Remember, you're probably only going to be restricted from driving for 2 weeks or so. You're not going to have lots of errands- you're going to be recuperating!

So buy enough groceries, make meals ahead (crockpot!freezer!), get prescriptions, movies, books, toilet paper, whatever-- and don't be afraid to tell a co-worker or neighbor in advance that you're gonna be housebound and might need a tiny favor or two. It's really no sweat off a neighbor's back to carry your mail to your door once every few days, and it's a lifesaver for you. If a friend calls to say they might visit . . . suggest they bring you a gallon of milk, or whatever you've run out of.

I've never tried it, but I also hear that grocery stores around here deliver! And there's pizza and chinese and . . .

(I live alone too; my mom is driving 200 miles to stay with me 10 days, and then I'll be cocooning too. Let's see if I can walk the walk like I can talk the talk!)

I live alone with no family in the area. My friends are scattered around a major metropolitan area so I couldn't really count on them either. I was completely alone when I got home and did the same types of things Lilywhiteflower mentioned tp prepare to be self sufficient.

Here are some of the things I did...

• Stocked the freezer with frozen dinners and fruit. Also stocked the pantry with easy to prepare microwave stuff.
• Used paper plates, cups and plastic ware so there were no dishes to wash.
• Bought a bunch of yogurt for the fridge.
• Stocked up on cat food and litter.
• Learned how to pour cat food and water into the cat's dish without bending (a 2 quart pitcher reaches down close enough so it didn't make a mess...I would just put enough food or water in the pitcher so it wasn't too heavy).
• Placed things at a reachable level to avoid stretching and bending.
• Bought a thing to pick up things that were dropped.
• Decided a clean house just wasn't happening.
• Arranged for a friend's 12 year old son to handle cat litter and trash duty.

My cat is older and pretty much just hung out at the bottom of the bed so I wasn't concerned about him being on me. However mine did sense something was up because he was constantly lying by my side once I got home. Your's may sense that they need to leave you alone. You may want to consider seeing how they act when you get home as they will provide great companionship. Can you just shut them in a room while you need to rest or arrange for someone to take them to the boarder later if you need to?

Are your "stairs of death" into your home or will you need to use them inside? You obviously have to get home, but once inside if you can stay put they shouldn't be an issue. If they are inside, I would set up something so you can stay on same level as kitchen and bathroom. When you do need to use them, make sure someone is with you when you use them.

You did mention friend's visits...try and coordinate with them to do the things you may need, like picking up milk and eggs, taking the trash out, etc. Also check into local markets that may deliver.

I didn't think of this but a friend did. She convinced people in lieu of flowers more useful things like a fruit basket or take out food delivered would be better since I lived alone. Another group from work decided to take turns taking me out to dinner. It's a little awkward to drop hints for that kind of stuff, but maybe you could figure out a way to make that happen for you too.

I'm sure you will be suprised at who will offer to help and be there for you.

Best wishes and s

Hello, Moonchilde. I also live alone and had a TAH/BSO. i did a LOT of stocking up on non-perishable items, which included food for me as well as for the cats, and detergent, toilet paper, well I could go on. I figured that with the 5lb restriction, I should do as much shopping as I could ahead of time. And, I found that I was able to ask friends and visitors for help - and they really wanted to help. Each time someone visited, they brought me something i needed....fresh fruit, prescriptions, or whatever. I also asked them to dump my garbage (needed to be carried to a dumpster out back of my house), and i had a friend or two help me with my laundry which was down in the basement. These were things that you all of a sudden realize you can't do! And, it was tricky to take care of the cats litter box because of the bending, but I found a semi comfortable way to do it. I wanted them nearby. and, even though one of them wanted to get into my lap and didn't understand my pushing him away, i was glad to have them with me. Best wishes to you.

Joanne

I live alone and I found the key to a successful recovery was my preparation. I set up a card table pre-surgery in my kitchen and the day or so before my surgery I started putting my cats food/water on the table, where he could easily jump but I did not have to bend. I bought 2 large plastic containers with locking lids and filled them with dry food, so I wouldnt have to lift the bag--and I bought 5-24 pks. of canned food so no one had to buy my cat any food. For the litter, my bf took my litter scoop and rigged it to another stick to elongate it, so no bending was required. I found my cat to be of GREAT comfort to me and I am glad he was here with me. I kept a pillow on my stomach at all times the first week, so if he climbed on me I didnt feel it.
I bought all my food in advance, so I didnt really need anything. You could always stop your mail for the first week. After then you will enjoy the little walk to the mailbox..I drove at 10 days, no problem. I was totally alone for my recovery and it felt good o be totally self-sufficient. Oh! I also signed up for Netflix and they deleivered movies every day--its great! For us solo girls, planning is the key! I wish you the best in your prep and after.

CASH! I forgot to mention having cash on hand. It sure did come in handy when asking someone to pick up something for me... and when I ordered pizza delivery last night (first hot junk food since Sept 23) I was able to pay/tip properly!

Even though I was able to get around and had people nearby, I cocooned for the first week. It was nice to just be home... no make up, stayed in short gowns and socks, watched tv and movies, just really nice. My second week hasn't been restful so this week I am having to coast again.

Best wishes ~

Another idea about movies.....I rented a whole bunch of 'old' movies which were inexpensive at the rental place; their older movies were less expensive to rent and had a longer time for returning them....and then had friends, co-workers return them for me when they could (wasn't a big expense, so I wasn't too worried about it).
And, I'd stocked up on books to be prepared with reading material.
Have to just say as a florist that I think flowers will cheer you up! At least some. And, don't be afraid to ask the delivery person to bring the flowers inside your house and place them where you want them so you don't have to carry them....they'll even take the delivery box away.
And, yes, a great idea above....have extra cash around.
I'm assuming you have a cordless telephone? That was key!!!
I'm sure you're used to living solo, so it's just some additional steps you need to take to be sure you're ok. You can do it! In fact, for me, my mother came to stay with me, but I sent her home after a day or so because she drove me crazy....all she did was sit in the living room reading magazines! (we never get along.....so it was silly to think she'd be helpful, but.......ah, well....)

[quote=Lilywhiteflower]Hi (((Vicki)))

I stayed with my mother 2 days post op, after that, I welcomed coming home. I do have a DD that helped me, however I made sure I was well prepared beforehand/

--My fear is that I have no one whom I can count on for sure to be there that first week. It's the time that I'm first home from the hospital that I'm the most nervous about.

Since I didnt need pain meds, I called my doctor one week post op and she said it was fine to drive. She did say if I had been taking pain meds, that would be out of the question. So, my two week post op check up I drove there myself.

--Since I'm having a TAH, BSO, I'm assuming I won't be able to drive until at least the third week. I'm hoping I won't need heavy duty pain meds for long (don't we all, lol)

If staying at the home would make you feel better, by all means check into it, however with me.. the two days at my mothers was rough. Its hard for me to sleep anywhere but my own place.

--It's not something I'd be happy to do, but if it was really necessary, care-wise and pain-wise, I'd do it.

I made sure the week before I mailed out all bills I needed to. By time I needed to mail anymore I was fine to drive and do my small errands. I would say for sure you will need help with groceries and cleaning out the litter box. I wouldnt bend over for the first week at all. I think the first couple of weeks are really critical and you need your rest.

--Yeh, that's my worry, those first two weeks. After that I'm sure I'll be fine in the long run (fingers crossed). I do my banking online, so that's not a problem.

Perhaps you can make a list of things you know you will need help with and when... and ask everyone to look at it and 'sign up' for those duties. I had one friend come over on Saturday and do my laundry, another friend came over on Wed night to check in and bring me magazines to look at. It works out better if you have some kind of schedule or time for them to help too!

--My friends all work full time, and all live 1 hour+ from me, so if they come and when they come will be up to them. Right now, I'm afraid nobody will come :-( [paranoia sets in, hehe]

Thanks for your advice and good wishes, Lisa!

Vicki