LAVH Cervix Removal & Sex

I've been post-op for 9 1/2 weeks now. My DH and I were allowed to have external play which was great. I was finally released on Friday for actual sex. We've always had a very satisfying and active sex life and I DID NOT experience painful sex before surgery like a lot of people did. I had my cervix removed and well sex was just blah! I felt hardly anything...it was like he was in there but not having him thrust against my cervix felt like he was just in a hollow opening. Because it's been a long healing process for me, I had no pain, was not nervous and was actually very excited for sex. Then to have it end in utter disappointment...I'm so sad.

I don't know if I just have to re-train my inner walls or what... I'd like to hear from others who had their cervix removed and had a vaginal cuff created...does your sex life get better???

Thanks!!

My DH and I have has sex 2 times. I'll be 8 weeks post op on Sunday. The first time I was terrified and thinking too much about enjoying anything. The second time was better. I was ready for bed, relaxed, and going to sleep. DH initiated and since I was relaxed and sleepy I didn't over think it.

It is different. I too did not have pain during sex. I had my hysterectomy to save my life after giving birth. I have found that being in the woman on top position makes everything easier (at leas for now until I am more comfortable).

Best advice my doctor gave me - 1) do not pin your expectations on the first few times. 2) practice makes perfect.

I hope things level out for you. It's hard enough going thru the surgery but to have the added sex worry after makes it even harder.

this is my worry with sex after.
i guess only practice can make perfect.
goodluck i do hope it gets better.

S'Moore...I hope it gets better!! I was in the top position for control. My doctor told me to take it easy because my stitches were almost healed but were white in color.

I wasn't nervous at all but I guess subconsciously I might've thinking about it. Before the surgery, sex was fantastic and you know how you could feel your mate touching your "wall...aka cervix", well, that's where a lot of my pleasure came from and I was waiting for that feeling but nothing!

Vster...Sorry, I don't mean to freak you out!! So many people have had fantastic outcomes after surgery but for me, it's just disappointment. I definitely don't plan on giving up!! Too bad they don't come up with a cervix replacement they could put inside the vaginal cuff!! I'm first in line when they do!! lol

Thanks for replying girls!!

Butterfly.36 that is true but funny. My DH said something similar just the other day because I don't have the uterus contractions anymore when orgasming. I actually rarely have an orgasm and they are weak at best. Anyway he said it was a shame they didn't have uterus transplants. I wish they did because that feeling is gone. My DH believes that if men had the same problems they would have found cures a long time ago.

This is something I have feared and of course I am only 5 days out, so way too early to consider. I am 44 and married my dh almost 5 yrs ago. Until I met him, I never experienced orgasms on a regular basis. Heck, with him, I became multi-orgasmic. I was afraid to undergo this hyst because I didn't want to lose what took me so long in life to finally have. I, too experienced uterine contractions that my dh could feel and I won't have those anymore. Sex was never painful until a few times immediately prior to surgery and it was the contractions that were painful...pulling and cramping. Come to find out, my uterus was adhered to my bladder and was accidentally cut during removal of uterus. Urologist made emergency repairs in the OR and placed two ureteral stents. Long story short, I now know why the uterine contractions were pulling and painful.
It feels odd to pray about my sex life...but I know God made woman for man and He also made us different than animals in as much, we don't have sex just to procreate so I have to believe that He wants us to have a satisfying sexual relationship with our husbands. So, I will be praying....

Shena09...At first my orgasms were weak but got stronger each time from external play. I've been blesses in that department...lol Never had a problem achieving one as a matter a fact the weird thing is that although my uterus is gone my orgasms feel stronger then they did before surgery only when having clitoral stimulation. I still have yet to experience an orgasm during actual sex and that's what I miss most.

OMGosh...If they didn't take your cervix you might be in luck! I guess, I wish I was told that this could happen. My husband and I have been married 20 1/2 years and he said nothing felt different during sex to him but it did to me. I didn't let him explore yet cuz it just feels weird in there!

The first time couple times I experienced play on "my own" when the doc gave me permission, I felt absolutely nothing SO I freaked out, cried and was in disbelief BUT I told myself no way can this be happening SO the next day I tried again and there it was...FINALLY!!! lol No one told me that it might take a few times to achieve so keep that in mind. Wishing you a fast and speedy recovery!!

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Originally Posted by butterfly.36 . . . OMGosh...If they didn't take your cervix you might be in luck! I guess, I wish I was told that this could happen. My husband and I have been married 20 1/2 years and he said nothing felt different during sex to him but it did to me. I didn't let him explore yet cuz it just feels weird in there! . . .

Butterfly, all of my internal female parts are gone. I told my dh that I would be ready for testosterone if my libido is gone. Of course, he may not be ready...lol My dh is a physician so he is very knowledgeable, but he is also a kind, patient and understanding man. He found my g-spot when I didn't think it really existed. He is convinced that everything will be as good if not better than before...maybe he's right. I was having hot flashes and night sweats prior to surgery so he put me on the vivelle dot .0375 and it helped. Since the surgery, he increased dot to .1 and I am still having little flashes...can't imagine what it would be like without the HRT.

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Originally Posted by butterfly.36 the weird thing is that although my uterus is gone my orgasms feel stronger then they did before surgery only when having clitoral stimulation. I still have yet to experience an orgasm during actual sex and that's what I miss most.

I haven't been cleared for sex, so I haven't tried even self stimulation, and I also don't have a partner. As all of us, I'm concerned and interested as well, I want my body to respond when I'm ready.

However, based on what you said in your posts, I think you'll be ok, you just probably have to learn to adjust to the new body. No, I don't think it's going to be exactly the same for us if we've lost our uterus and cervix, since there are muscles there and also hormones are produced by the uterus as well, but I think it can still be excellent. Hormonal balance is important. So that would be something to do, to get a saliva test and see what you've got.

As far as your comment that you can orgasm, but not during sex...what you mean is intercourse, and that probably describes half the women in this country, without surgery. Because as women we need significant clitoral stimulation, and if our partner is not providing that either directly or by movement of his penis and abdomen in and over our body, so that the clitoris is sufficiently stimulated, than we won't orgasm. Also, our clitoris is not just that little button on the outside, it's a long organ that extends in our body, and it's also under the tissue in our vaginal wall. So as long as the blood vessels and nerves haven't been cut off, and the hormones are there, then with the right technique, you'll orgasm. You might want to also try a vibrator.

There's a section on hystersisters for sexual dysfunction:

https://www.hystersisters.com/vb2/forumdisplay.php?f=202

OMGosh...How convenient to be married to a doctor! lol Thank god for me, no hot flashes or sweats!! I did experience it after surgery for three days but they just stopped...thank god! lol My DH has in fact found my g spot a while ago and I did not enjoy those orgasms at all so for me the g spot is off limits! lmao You've left me, with some encouraging thoughts so thank you!

Sam47...I totally agree, I have to adjust to my new body with missing parts which is hard because my parts worked very well but they wanted out! lol

My sister sees an herbalist and I'm glad you recommended the saliva test because I'm definitely gonna do that. I'll have to see what she charges for that and I'll let ya know...I'm very curious! THANKS!!

Yes, I was referring to achieving orgasm during intercourse in which I NEVER had a problem having one before till now. What you said makes sense though and I guess I have to just give it time and see what happens. We use toys also and have had to depend on fake lube in which I've never had to use before unless it was purely for fun.

It just amazes me what these surgeries do to our bodies but I don't regret doing it. I guess, it's just gonna take time getting use to. Thank you so much!!! I'm gonna check out that link you left. Hugs...