Family has issues

I am 35 and scheduled to have a total lap assisted hysterectomy on Sept 3rd. Growing up I had no problems, had three sons, and finally a daughter. After she was born, I bled for a year straight. Had surgery done and stopped that. For the last six months I have taken a Lupron injection and felt wonderful. The last year I have had abnormal paps. It's been a roller coaster, and looking forward to getting things on track. My mother is not for this, thinks I am too young, and should get another opinion. I have tried to tell her that the last three years have been trial and error, and I am comfortable with this. I need help in communicating that it will be ok to her. Please help!

Hi Sunshine 404,

Please don't second guess yourself about your decision. Your Mom is not he one having to go through this, you are.

I had a LAVH on August 12th. I chose to do the hysterectomy as a result of abnormal PAPS and Severe Dysplysia. After Bi Op's and a LEEP procedure I decided I did not want to do this every three months.

A second opinion isalways a good idea, but ultimately it's your body.

Gently let your mom know that while you value her opinion you feel this is the right choice for you. Also let her know that you will need he help and support after the surgery.

My mom stayedfor 2 weeks ( in fact she is going home today , she lives in Britain).

I wish you the best! Trust in yourself and know that you have alot of sisters here to support you.

39B

Sunshine

Your Mother Needs To Be There For You. How Did That Do
The First Surgery To Stop The Bleeding. I Pray That
Everthing Will Be All Right For You. Please Keep Me Posted
On Your Surgery

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I would just try to explain to your mother that you have exhausted all of your options and now you are taking the next step. Also let her know that this wasn't an easy decision and you appreciate her concern but really need her support. I hope that this helps. Keep in touch.

I had my hysterectomy when I was younger than you. My mother had hers younger than you as well. But my mom was still concerned about me -- I am her daughter after all! But I was able to tell her what all of my doctors said and that the hysterectomy was the best option for me. And that helped her be okay.

It really is wise to have a second opinion before having a hysterectomy as it is a major, irreversible surgery that is not without risks. Sometimes another doctor will know of a new treatment option that can be successful while avoiding this major surgery.

In the end you do have to weigh all the pros and cons for you. If you can, arrange for your mom to accompany you to one of your appointments. My mom had flown down to be with me and was with me for my pre op tests and appointment. She could have then asked my doctor any questions she had to help her feel as comfortable as possible with the situation.

I wish you all the best! My guess is that your mom's concern is over her care and love for you, maybe even fear about the surgery, rather than her trying to purposely cause a problem. It's a mom's job to worry about her child -- no matter how old you might be!

S

I understand where you are coming from. I am 29 and having a LAVH on Friday and my mom thinks for some reason that I bullied my Dr. into doing this surgery. Nothing could be further from the truth and I have had multiple problems since over the last seven years before my first child was born and has progressively gotten worse. I had a failed Therma Choice ablation last year, but my mother just doesn't quite understand and because of this she is refusing to help out after my surgery and telling me I should be up and around after a couple of days.

I am very comfortable with my decision and I trust my Dr. completely. He has pulled me through some other rough times. Just know that if this is the right decision you have to do what is best for you. It was very hard for me when my Mom didn't support me, but I had to get past it because I knew I was making the right decision for me and my family.

Hopefully your Mom will come around since you still have some time until your surgery and will be there to help and support you.

Thank you all so much for your input. It's so comforting to know you are all there! I greatly appreciate it!

Who are these people to judge what we are doing? Quite frankly, it is not their decision, and they are not dealing with all the pain and life interference that we are. It is not up to us to make them understand, it is up to them to ask quesions if they are concerned. If they have problems with me making a choice about MY body, that is exactly what it is THIER PROBLEM. I do not have any obligation to take it on.

The women I see on here are informed, inquisitive and valuable. We all have a right to make whatever choice we feel is appropriate. Does anyone question ANY surgery a man may have??? This is NOT considered elective surgery in any realm other than insurance purposes.

OK, enough of that, I do have love for people, just really p-oed right now.