Feeling conflicted, guilty and a tad angry.

I wonder if we need the surgeries because our conditions were induced by stress!

All of the sisters are talking about working, AND families, AND cooking, AND cleaning...we are too busy and need to be nicer to ourselves. Remember that we are good people who do unto others...

I have sat and obsessed over what my house is going to look like by the time I'm up and around, and how my family is going to eat...and so on, but this site has made me realize that all of that is secondary right now! If necessary buy or make a months worth of your favourite frozen dinners for yourself, and let everyone else eat peanut butter and jelly!
Let the DH and family/friends realize just what a good cook, cleaner, nurturer, and provider you really are!

Ha...this is going to be my declaration of independence! I have the Playstation video games ready (I only bought games I wanted to play...no NHL or NBA or football!) and the satellite hooked up to the artsy fartsy channels I like. I cooked meals for myself, froze them, and labelled them "my surgery" so the DH or kids wouldn't be tempted. I have nice smelling candles ready to go, and a bed tray that has pockets for books and magazines. This is my time to get ready for my surgery, and I have a restful place I've created for when I get home.

Treat yourself the way you pamper others!!!!

I wish I had found this site before my surgery instead of yesterday. I had my surgery two weeks ago today.

I think that people can be insensitive because they really don't understand that a hysterectomy is major surgery. When they do, and they're close to you it's hard for them to imagine you in pain and not being able to do things for yourself.

I even find that my DH, who has been a gem has forgotten that there's a lot of things that I still can't do. Now that I look "normal" he forgets... lol

I think the one lesson that we all have to learn through this experience is to ask for help when we need it. I'm like the rest of you, used to doing everything for myself and others... lol

My surgery is scheduled for November 20, and I've known my date since July. I've begun making plans for work (I'm a teacher, so I've got to have everything in place before I leave). So there are a few people at work who know I'll be having this done (all of whom are women and all of whom assure me of two things: it's the best thing that they ever did and it was a piece of cake).

However, other than my husband and children, no one else knows I'm having this done. I will not discuss it with my mother, because when my doctor first talked about this option with me a couple of years ago, I mentioned it to my mom and she went ballistic. For some reason, if she has not had a medical problem then NO ONE should have that medical problem. Therefore (in her mind) there is absolutely no need for me to have this surgery. Because I know she will not be supportive, I have no intentions of discussing it with her. It is a bitter sweet situation. I want her to love and care for me, but I know she will not do that. I have cried many tears over this, and I know it will get worse before it is over. Because I do not want to deal with my mom about this, I also cannot discuss it with my brothers or sister. We're not terribly close, but we do generally share the big events in our lives. To me, this is kind of big. Plus, because my surgery is just one week before Thanksgiving, there is a possibility (albeit a very slim one) that my family may want to get together for the holiday. I won't be able to do this - they live 100 miles away. My mother is not the most understanding woman (you may have picked up on this already), so she will feel very snubbed. I don't know what's worse: getting her angry at me for having what she deems as "unnecessary" surgery or getting her angry at me for declining a dinner invitation.

Wow. I didn't mean to dump all of this here. I feel kind of "orphaned" by my mom and our relationship (which has never been particularly good) has gone down hill over the past several months. I guess the whole idea of wanting to be taken care of after surgery really makes a woman want her mom's love and attention, and I'm so sad that I won't get that from her.

I hear ya!!! I keep wondering if I accidentally said I was having a wort removed nov. 5 rather than having 1/3 of my organs removed! I don't understand it either.

I so totally understand! some people don't realize how huge this is!

I actually sat down and went through my list of friends, and not-so-close friends and "scheduled" one each day to ask them to bring me lunch for the first 3 weeks. I don't think my husband really understands what life is going to be like at first. (I can't say DH because those are my son's initials and it confuses me.)

however the people at my doctor's office are acting like it's no big deal, so I'm confused. anyway I think you should stick up for yourself so you aren't holding-in resentment. I'm kind of a "tell it like it is" person, so no one is really surprised when I set them straight... hee hee

good luck! we're all here for ya!

Add me to the list. I feel so alone sometimes I could just scream. I guess you could say I'm alone in a crowd. It's hard for some people to understand when they have not gone through a major surgery and others don't take the time to understand. I know my family will be great afterwards, but I still feel like I'm doing this alone. You know like the old song says, "You got to walk that lonesome valley. You got to walk it by yourself. No, nobody else can walk it for you. You got to walk it by yourself." That's how I feel sometimes.