Husband thinks this hysterectomy surgery is no big deal!

Hello all! My surgery is on March 30th. My husband thinks that I should recover in 3-4 days!! It is so frustrating and hurts that he spent take this seriously. I said no driving for a week and he compared to a friend that drove that same week of her surgery. I just feel very alone In this. I told him to go to the appointments with me but refuses! Any others have a non supportive husband? Any tips?

So sorry your not getting the support you need. Maybe he will read some stories on here and see that you will be going through a lot !! I would suggest you have a person picked that can and is willing to help you out. You are going to need it ! I was so blessed to have a wonderful husband and awsome mom to take care of me. I just now at 8 weeks starting doing some cooking and mild cleaning. Be sure he is there when they release you so he can hear what they tell you to do and not to do. Or that would be a good time for the Dr to let him know. Everyone is different and it will also depend on what type surgery you have. Don't push yourself !! Take care of yourself because like you will see here over and over (you only get one time to heal right ) it could cause years of pain verse 8 weeks of recovery. I will pray all goes well for you . Best of luck !

Hi Kimberly
So sorry to read that you are dealing with a husband that obviously just doesn't get it. A hysterectomy is a major surgical procedure and depending on what type of surgery you have, the recovery times will vary. I had a TAH and my surgeon stated right from the very beginning that it would take up to a full year to completely heal on the inside. I take things one day at a time..... It wouldn't be a bad idea to have your hubby watch a video on the procedure that you are going to be having, he might change his tune then. I had my surgery in July and my husband suffered a massive heart attack 3 months earlier but bless his heart, he was there for me in whatever way that I needed him. You are not the only one in your situation, I am sure that there will be several others who will chime in and give their two cents.
Best of luck with your surgery in March and welcome to this wonderful community of women who truly understand your feelings.

You might ask him how he'd feel about having the male equivalent. Sorry he's clueless, maybe he's trying to reassure himself that you'll be ok by telling himself it's no big deal. Men can be such babies about this kind of thing. I would put together a list of the tasks that you think you'll need his assistance for and let him know that you'll need his help. Maybe he'll decide to act like a hero. Good luck, I'm sure he loves you, just doesn't get it.

It's not the same as a spouse, but my best friends keeps doing the same thing and compairing my surgery to her tubal. SOOOOoooo irritating.

so sorry to hear that you Spouse is not willing to hear how major this is. there are so many people that don't think it is a serious surgery and I get some pretty rude comments from some that had c-sections - I shrug them off and just follow my docs rules.

as mentioned above I would make the husband come to get me from the hospital and request that the DOC come in and re-iterate the DON'T's and the time lines of the not to-do's and make sure you DH is sitting right there and hears her. You can request the doc to stop by before your release explain to her that you are not really getting the support from your DH and he seems to think this is going to be a 1 week recovery.... and hopefully that will spark your doc to be a little more aggressive in your discharge instructions. And of course try to find that ONE friend that you know you can count on and set up for them to come help out a little around the house in case your DH refuses to hear that you need 4-6 weeks to recover!

best of luck sister we will be thinking about you.

Would your husband be willing to look at the Mister Sister website (equivalent of this site for the partners in our life?) I sent my husband some of the links I found so he could understand exactly what recovery would be like for me. I'm 10 days into my recovery and he is the one making me stop when I try to do too much. I hope your husband takes the time to understand. You have enough of your own fears and worry heading into the surgery. I hope he comes around and supports you! Be strong and all of your Hyster sisters will be here rooting you on!!

I seriously want to smack some of these guys. :-( I'm single and was taken such good care of by family that I wish I could bottle my experience and share it around.

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Originally Posted by BornACrone I seriously want to smack some of these guys. :-( I'm single and was taken such good care of by family that I wish I could bottle my experience and share it around.

amen to this....

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Originally Posted by Hollyvenus amen to this....

The irony of not marrying in my 20s and 30s and being constantly told during that time, "But who will be there for you when you're in trouble?" has not escaped me. :-(

I still wish there were a crystal ball that women could look into to see the future of a marriage, and find out ahead of time whether it will be worth investing all that time and effort.

And to any women who are being brushed off, dismissed, or trivialized by their spouses in their time of need, I wish you ALL great comfort, love, and a nice big jacuzzi with a wet bar in the middle of it. *hug*