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Depressed and worried... Depressed and worried...

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Unread 09-14-2005, 03:36 PM
Depressed and worried...

Starting to have some serious lows here and getting a bit worried. I have a history of clinical depression since early childhood, I was darn near self-destructive in my early twenties when a dr. finally put me on meds. I still have scars on my arms and legs, like I said, destructive.

I've done pretty well the last five years or so on my own. I've kept a reasonably good handle on it without the help of meds. The last week or so, though, I can feel myself slipping, you know? I feel so down, I'm finding it hard to care about anything or pay attention. I've found myself laying on the couch staring at the tv for an hour not really watching anything. My BF will be speaking to me and it takes a few minutes to filter through and he has to say it again.

I hate anti-depressants, they always felt so "fake" when I was taking them. The last one I took, Zoloft, gave me withdrawal symptoms when I went off of it. Freaked me out. I can't make up my mind if I should ask my dr. for meds right now or wait and see if this all evens out later. What if it gets worse?
A little depression's part of this whole process, right? Am I just overreacting? I honestly never thought to tell my dr before the surgery about my problems with depression, didn't even occur to me.

I don't know, I'm just blowing some anxiety here I guess. Thanks for listening.
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Unread 09-14-2005, 03:41 PM
Depressed and worried...

oh sweetie, i'm so sorry you are going through this! i really think you should talk to your doctor about this. did you keep your ovaries? they do go into a state of shock from the trauma of major surgery! it takes a while for them to start functioning normally again. But if you dont start feeling better soon i think you should tell someone. i am here for you if you need to talk, email me or pm me hun! i will be your shoulder!
Unread 09-14-2005, 03:43 PM
Depressed and worried...

Ohhh sweatie, I'm really sorry! I really don't even know what to say other than we are here for you and will try to comfort you the best we can. I truly hope you will talk to a professional though before things get any worse! I know a lot of ladies do discuss feeling depressed after the surgery, either do to the emotional loss of the female organs (I went through this before surgery and a little after), or from having ovaries removed and going through Surgical Menopause, or from sleeping ovaries which puts us into temperory meospause until the ovaries realize they need to wake up and start producing hormones. Regardless if this "maybe" what you might be going through with the hormones please seek help!
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Unread 09-14-2005, 03:55 PM
Depressed and worried...

Thank you, I'll take all the (((HUGS))) I can get. LOL I got to keep one ovary but the dr. wasn't sure if it would function properly. We're hoping. Seems my little ovaries hadn't been doing their jobs for awhile, I was having menopause symptoms beofre my hyst, mostly hot flashes and night sweats and the never ending period.the dr said he cleared a very large endometrium from my right ovary after removing the other one and hopes it might heal itself enough to function. Turns out the endo and cysts are why my BF and I couldn't get me preggers the last two years we tried.
I have my six week post-op with my doc on monday, Sept. 26. I'll talk to him about the depression, see what he thinks. Maybe sooner if it gets really bad. It's just so frustrating, I was doing so well on my own, I hate the thought of having to resort to meds again. I feel like I failed somehow, you know?
I'm so glad this place is here. Thank you HysterSisters.
Unread 09-14-2005, 07:11 PM
Depressed and worried...

Wish I could be there to cry with you! I had my surgery the same day as you and am going through the same depression. It just hit me a few days ago and I can't stop crying!! I also have a long history of depression and hospitalizations. And I have also gone through horrible withdrawals from anti depressants! I am on HRT but it doesn't seem to help with the depression aspect. Hey, hopefully it is just our hormones working themselves out. Isn't this site great? At least here we can share our problems and get some support. I have a tendency to withdraw in to myself when I am depressed and this site is like a lifeline! Also, I am originally from Columbus, OH but moved to Minnesota when I was 21. I am one year younger than you! We could have gone to the same school or something! Small world, huh? I hope you find the help you need. Take care!
Unread 09-14-2005, 10:09 PM
Depressed and worried...

Hi (((Naturebound)))
It helps to know I've got so much in common with someone else! = ) I'm really trying to be positive and hope that all these depression problems will sort themselves out in a few weeks. I'm really leery of taking AD's, you know?
On the lighter side, I've only lived here in Columbus for about ten years. I lived in Rochester, NY before that, except for one year, in the 3rd grade when we moved to Columbus for Dad's job. Who knows, we could have shared a school. Columbus was a lot smaller back then! LOL I didn't even recognise it when I came back ten years ago.
Take care of you, Hon. I'll be thinking of you.
Unread 09-15-2005, 09:25 AM
Depressed and worried...

Hey Karen!
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling down; I been there, and there's nothing worse than standing at the top of the long slide down, and feeling your feet start to slip.
I've been on anti-depressants (ADs) off and on since I was 16 yo, with a l o n g family history of various mental illnesses.
At first, and many times along the way, I fought with the feeling that I'd failed somehow, or was weak, cuz I was taking meds. Looking back now, on my own self-destructive ways and deep depressions, the ADs are the only reason I'm still here, kicking and grinning. As the old analogy goes, if you had diabetes, you wouldn't feel weird about taking insulin, right?
I've been a Poster Child for some ADs, had others that seemed to "Zombie" me, and still others that did nothing at all. Only you can tell how you're doing, but I would urge you to stay open-minded to meds. It sounds like perhaps you haven't found the right one. I truly know how frustrating it is, waiting for 2 or more weeks just to find "this one" isn't working. But if there's a chance you might feel better, it's worth it.
Well, enough for the lecture. Please take good care of yourself, and I hope you're feeling better soon, regardless of what it takes!
Unread 09-15-2005, 09:47 AM
Depressed and worried...

i had my surgery the day after yours.
been through depression,was doing so well i went off meds 6 monthes ago.was doing great then had tah. the past week started feeling the depression set in again. i talked to my dr yesterday,she mentioned the sleeping ovaries and also said that this time of year seasonal depression sets in for many,and then being cooped up and not getting outside can also trigger the feelings again. she made me promise if it doesn't get better soon i'll go back on check with your dr and most imortant remember your not alone!
Unread 09-15-2005, 12:14 PM
Depressed and worried...

Hugs for everyone for your kindness. Reading your messages helps alot, anything that gives me a smile right now is a blessing and I get a lot of smiles from my sisters!
You know what I want most right now? A margarita! LOL That would taste so good right now! Oh well, couple more weeks.

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