Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm torn between absolute terror, and some excitement that this hysterectomy could resolve many problems that I thought were only in my head. I'm really happy to see so many women talk about increased levels of energy. Seems like I've been tired the last 9 years of my life, or since I had kids basically.

Part of me wants to fall apart at the whole concept of a hysterectomy and I don't know why. My dr. today said that some women associate their "womanhood" with their female reproductive organs. I don't think I do, but why does it make me sad?

I feel selfish for wondering why this is happening to me. Nothing like this ever happens to my friends. Seems like if anybody has health issues, it's always me.
Now I'm pitying myself again.

Some of you have such positive attitudes. I want to carry them with me to the OR. I'm going to envision a group of hyster sisters holding my hands as I go to sleep.

I told my 9-yr-old tonight that I was going to have an operation. Told him they were going to take out the little bag that he was in in my belly because I don't need it anymore. He wanted to know if he has that bag, because he doesn't want surgery. I think he's worried, but I made like it wasn't a big deal, although I just wanted to cry some more.

Some people from my church are coming to pray with me on Monday. I know I'll be balling my head off when that happens.

Am I making too much out of this? I don't know what level of worriedness I should be at. I'm glad I'm on an anti-depressant or I'd probably really be all over the place.

Sorry, ranting. Hoping some of you can relate.

Your feelings are normal. I felt the same way before my surgery, excited yet terrified. Now I'm 2 wks post-op and recovering well. I hope all goes well for you.

You are not alone. Let me repeat that -- you are NOT alone.

In fact, I'd be a little worried if you weren't at least a little apprehensive about this. You are about to have irreversible surgery. But if you've come to terms with it being the best decision for you, then you can have some peace about it.

I remember I did pretty well, right up until the time they wheeled me into the operating room. Then I turned to a shivering, quivering mess. (Of course, the OR was about 38 degrees, or so it felt.... but I was still falling apart.) The docs and nurses are used to their patients being very nervous and they worked wonders on me to help calm my fears. I pray the same will happen for you.

You mention that you are having some of the people from your church come to pray with you. Would it be possible for one of them (or a pastor or other spiritual leader) be with you on the day of surgery, too? It might go a long way toward easing your mind and spirit. Just a thought.

Until your surgery day, try to do as much as you reasonably can. Not everything will get done (I had to just forget about washing the shelves in the refrigerator -- and it was OK, believe it or not ) but whatever doesn't get done by you will be done by someone else, or it didn't really need to get done.

Hope this helps. We're all here for you, and many of us have been in your shoes. I for one will be happy to go in the OR with you on your castle date (in spirit, of course).

I know exactly how you feel. I have this terrible fear that when the surgery is over I will not feel any better and I will have gone through it for nothing. I have been suffering ever since I had my first period at age 9. I've lost an ovary to endometriosis, been through all kinds of fertility treatments, etc. You'd think I'd be estactic about getting rid of it all. I think for me that getting rid of my uterus is not about having more children or losing my womanhood. For me it is about letting go of a part of my life that I really enjoyed and realizing I'm not getting any younger. That is hard for me. I want to grow old gracefully but lets face it the older you get the faster the time flies. Good luck to you and I will say some prayers that you find peace before your surgery and all goes well for you.