Dread Doctor Today

I have my 6 week check (2 days early) in 2 hours and I am filled with dread. I posted earlier about my miserable surgery experience (7 days in the hospital, mystery fever, low blood pressure, roommate issues, hospital construction noise & uncaring staff) and during that time I lost all confidence in my doctor. He was my "second opinion" doctor because my long-time gynecologist just wasn't the type to explain things and I didn't want to go through this without someone who would take the time to talk to me and tell me what was going on. Anyway, I found out that he was "all talk" and really seemed panicky when he couldn't figure out why I was so sick after surgery. He also called in 4 different other doctors for "consultations" which I feel now were unnecessary and designed to pad the pockets of his doctor friends. It sure ran my bills up because I have to pay a 20% on each of those exorbitant charges and one person wasn't even in my insurance network. I wasn't consulted, he just did it, and I was too drugged and sick to protest or realize that this was costing me big bucks.

I visited him 2 days after I got out of the hospital because my incision was "weeping" and he loudly told his nurse how I had been "more trouble than 100 of his other patients"! I came to realize that he was not all that competent and not really a good communicator, just a player. I had a vertical incision. Since I've lost a lot of weight this last year I had a big saggy belly. Now that incision is pulled up tight in the middle making it look like saddlebags on either side! And the scar has little holes in some places and hard knots in others, I've never had a scar look like this! I can't understand how they couldn't have done something to mitigate the ugliness of the scar he left behind! Now I'm 51 years old, haven't worn a bikini in 25 years and never let anyone see me without clothes. I had already given up on vanity, from weight loss I've got sagging skin everywhere and still a bit of tummy and butt. Even so, the way my stomach looks is freaking me out. I'm considering paying for plastic surgery out of my own pockets which really says something since I had such a horrible experience with this surgery.

I digress, the point being...I dread my appointment and dread this doctor. I can't wait to be released from his care for good because I hope to never see his face again.

Well, if I had it to do all over again, I would have gone for another doctor soon after surgery, but did not. I am not insensitive enough to just suggest another doctor, since it can be going from the frying pan into the fire, and expensive. But I do regret all the time I put into trying to look on the bright side, be positive, etc. about my surgeon; I should have just realized he was a mistake, and stopped putting my time and money into trying to improve our relationship or resolve our differences. The last time I went to see him was really it for me. I bought a friend, so that would be my other reccommendation-- BRING A WITNESS! Cause no one would believe this stuff unless they heard and saw it themselves. Like your doctor loudly stating that you were more trouble than 100 patients! My doc did the same-- he never has these problems, he has never heard of these problems, in a gazillion patients, etc., it is so rare, rare, rare, etc. He was adamant that it had nothing to do with the surgery, nothing, indeed he told me a dozen times I must have MS! Finally when the neurologist sent him a letter stating that my problems were a result of surgery, he just dropped out of everything; no contact with me at all. And he hurt the hell out of me on my last visit, so I am just never going back to him. I have a pain med doc, a neurologist and a new gyn, and he is history. You want to hear the ultimate in bad doc remarks? get this. I had problems ever since I had a radical hysterectomy, salpingo oopeherctomy, of course with the removal of my cervix. (and for nothing, as it turned out, a smallish, non cancerous, benign tumor on one ovary!) So after 12 weeks of problems, I go in again for an exam, he does what I describe as a RIGOROUS pelvic examination, both vaginally and rectally-- I mean it hurt! He removes his hand, and I say to him, "It feels to me like the area of tenderness is where the sutures/ incisions are located where you removed my cervix and sewed my vaginal cuff." He says to me, "I didn't remove your cervix." I am stunned. I say, "yes, you did, Doctor," He says, "no I did not, you just had a benign ovarian mass." I said, "Doctor you did a radical hysterctomy, you did remove my cervix." He says, No, I did not!" then starts looking at my chart, hems and haws, and says, well, okay, yes, I did remove your cervix."
HE HAD JUST REM0VED HIS HAND FROM INSIDE OF ME-- HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY NOT KNOW HE HAD REMOVED MY CERVIX? What the hell was he doing in there if not feeling for my cervix/uterus/etc/? So that was it for me.

McBee,

I wish you well at your appointment. Let us know how it goes.

Dianne

McBee,
I hope that by now you are done seeing your doctor. I REALLY feel for you and Cybernoir... you woman have gone through WAY TOO MUCH! I do love Cybernoir's idea about taking a friend along so that you have a witness.

I do look forward to hearing about how your appt went, and pray that it went well.

I survived the doctor's visit. Cybernoir, your experience sounds much worse than mine, but also similar in so many ways. I am going to find a new doctor now that I am officially done with the surgical followup. In his tasteless way he says "have you had sex?", I said, "no", he says..."well now you can do anything you want with anybody!". He pronounced my incision "Perfect!", I looked at him like he was crazy and he said "it'll look better as time goes by". He tried to hurry me out of the office but I made him take the time to pull out the surgical report which he read portions of to me. I did get a copy. And yes, Cybernoir, I feel it was all for nothing. I did have some problems but nothing I couldn't live with. It was an ovarian cyst and a high CA125 that precipitated the surgery. And now I think I moved too quickly for fear of cancer. That being said, my grandmother died of it, my first cousin has already been treated and is a six year survivor, I had a friend die in May from stage 4 ovarian and I have a business friend who just was admitted, stage 4 and had a total hysterectomy at 35 years old....so I realize that I am lucky compared to all of this and many of the stories that I have read. I feel much better and I know I'll get through this, but I was really unprepared and uninformed.

This site has definitely helped and all the supportive people!

Very similar. I was motivated entirely by fear of cancer. And in the plus column is that my fear is lessened --and realistically so. But if I had it to do over? (Do over, do over)... I would slow down, that is for sure. My space bar is broken on my laptop, so I can't write long..

Have you considered making an official complaint? Your doctor is a jerk.

What horrible experiences. My bad doctor experiences were all prior to the surgery. I can't tell you how many doctors kept telling me the pain was all in my head, that bleeding two weeks at a time twice a month was "normal". I think I took my current doctor back when he asked about what my previous doctors had said. I told him the last gynecologist was a "patronizing, snotty little man" who told me nothing was wrong. The first visit I had two sonagrams, multiple blood tests, pain medication and the next week I had surgery scheduled. There should be some way to file a complaint with the state professional board. Isn't it amazing the insensitivity of some doctors?

I am so sorry about the bad doctor! I know that there is a state board for every state where you can call and turn in a complaint. Enough complaints and the doctor gets checked up on and can lose some privledges. Please think about doing this!

I had a good friend that had a bad scar on her abdomen and she actually had it made into a tattoo that was beautiful. You couldn't see the scar at all and it made her feel better about her body.
Don't know if you are a tattoo sort of person (I don't have any) but it was a great solution.

Finding a good doctor is a matter of time and pure luck. I wish you lots of luck!!
Rebecca

Baby don't wait to be realeaserd from his care, run as fast as you can! This is the USA and you are not bound to him by any means! What he has done to you is deplorable and he should be called on it! If you really want plastic surgery, go to a surgeon that specializes in abdominalplasty and have him look at your belly. I have lost over 100 pounds have a saggy jelly belly and my inscision does not sound like it looks the same at all. Have an expert look at it and then find a lawyer. DR in front of anyones name does not give them the right to make you feel like you are not worth consulting about anything especially whan it is your money that will be paying his unearned wages. Your belly is your badge that you have accomplished something really special, and there is not anyone alive who should be able to take that from you.
You deserve the best that life has to offer and you are'nt tied to that quack in any way.
Good luck and keep me posted.