Wedding 12 days post-op

A friend of my DH is getting married 12 days after my TAH. He wants to wait to see how I am a week before until we decide whether or not to go. I'm thinking no-way but deep inside I'm hoping a short visit to the reception may be possible. Oh dear! What should I realistically plan on?

Dear Donna,
None of US can give YOU realistic advice as we are all so very different in our recoveries. Please just wait and see how you feel and go from there. I know it may be hard as you need to rsvp but that is the best advice I can give you.
I think I have had the best recovery one could hope for. I had a bikini cut and some skin removal in the vulva area. Everything out and lot's of biopsies. About a 2 hour surgery I think.
I walked my first day in the hospital and every day since. I drove at 10 days, just a little. At 12 days I drove and went grocery shopping for 2 hours. At 14 days I drove to a family reunion and spent 3 hours. In between all this though I rested and kept prone as much as possible. My energy level has returned quite nicely and gets better everyday.
But believe me if I felt I couldn't do those things I would NOT have. Listen to your body and take it easy.
Hope you are up to going as some R&R is nice.

Shelley

Hi:

I had a TVH on 3/5. I am doing quite nicely and today was the first time I was home myself. I was able to cook dinner and do a load of laundry but that is about it. However, I think if I was in your position I could possibly spend a few hours at a reception 12 days post-op. I am six days and going stir crazy. A nice wedding would be fun - but don't go to Church and reception - just plan a few hours.

Hi Donna,

Well, since you asked...my opinion is the same as your deep down thought "no way"!

There are a number of factors to consider...how far away the reception is, do you have clothes and shoes that you will be able to wear, and will you just plain feel up to it.

My best friend's dad passed away the week after my surgery. I went to the viewing, which was only about a 2 mile drive (DH drove) and wore a baggy jeans dress (my other dresses wouldn't fit yet) and I only stayed a very short time...about a 1/2 hour. I was exhausted at the end, plus I was uncomfortable while I was there. I know that I wouldn't have been in a celebratory mood.

I know it can be tough when you want to go somewhere, especially if they are good friends, but maybe your DH could go solo. Not the ideal situation, but...

Best wishes and s

First, I would ask the dr if s/he thinks this would be ok for you.

We do all heal at different rates. I was up walking around the house all the time and felt ok when my dh drove me to nearby restaurants for dinner around 12 days. But twice, at 20 days and at 3 weeks, we had a crowd at our house. Once for Christmas and the other time to watch a Bowl game. Each time, I felt fine physically, but it wore me out after a couple of hours. It was harder for me to handle all the activity going on around me at that time even though I wasn't being too active myself. At 2 weeks, I was allowed to drive. Felt fine when I left the house, but when I got up the street to the store, I felt dizzy & shakey-legged & my mother had to drive us back.

If you do decide to go, make sure dh is willing to leave at any point if you feel the need. If the pew or chair you will be sitting on at the wedding is not cushioned, it may be pretty uncomfortable, especially if you have the cervix removed or any repairs. Could still be so even if it is cushioned since those usually don't have much paddng. So, you may want to sit in the back so you can slip out to walk around if you get too uncomfortable. Make sure you will be able to sit if you need to at the reception too.

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories. I hope I can go for a short time to hte wedding, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I'm optimistic that I'll feel better than anticipated. I'm so relieved that I'm going to the castle after 20years of misery, that nothing can get me down. I have suffered from terrible cramps and excessive bleeding since I was 14. Now that I've finally decided to put an end to this, I keep wondering why I did not do this many, many years ago. Reading about everyone on this site has made me even more sure that I am doing the right thing. Thank you ALL so vey much.
Donna

Hi Donna...

Each of us is different...I'd wait and see how you feel. My doctor didn't want me leaving the house for at least two weeks post op. You are so vulnerable to everything...even if you feel OK, you'll be shaky, and tire so easily...and you will be around MANY people who are dancing and jostling and bumping....too scary for me.

Also, you are vulnerable to illness...the last thing you want to do is catch something and end up sick...sneezing, coughing, barfing, etc. Check with your doctor, but if I were you, I'd pass on this.

Just my 2c!

Karen

If I felt like it, I would make an " appearance" but not shoot for the whole wedding.

Hi Donna, Well, here is my 2 cents on this. First I would ask your doctor now, what he/she thinks you might be able to do at that point in your recovery. Are you going to have a one week follow-up appointment? That would be another excellent time to ask or re-ask the doctor about the wedding. I had my staples taken out at exactly one week post op. My doctor said I was doing great (I did feel really well at this point) and told me I could drive short distances if I felt up to it, and do just a little more walking, but not more lifting. I didn't actually drive until about 2 1/2 weeks, but I did start getting out more. I went out to an early dinner at 8 days post op with DH to celebrate our anniversary. At 12 days post op, we went to the Spring Home Builders show here in our area. I did ok. We walked around really slowly. I actually held on to my DH's arm most of the time because the arena that the show was in seemed to make me feel ???(not really dizzy, but unsteady), and so that in case someone would bump into me, I already had a support. We were probably there 2 hours walking around slowly and looking at fun new stuff. I was great to get out of the house, but I was pretty tired when I got home. The next afternoon, my DD needed to be taken back to college. It's a 2 hour drive each way. I had cabin fever really bad and wanted to ride along. We stopped at about the halfway point of both the going and the return trip to walk around some and stretch. I was even able to nap some coming home. I was tired the next day, it had been a big weekend for me, but I was able to do this. But I did it with my doctor's permission and I took each day as they got here. I didn't decided to do any of these things until almost time to go.
Take care!