depressed w/ 3 days to go

Today is just one of those days on one hand i'm glad the date is almost here and on the other hand if it wasn't for my husband and 2 gorgeous lovable sons I probably wouldn't have the guts to go on. As i've mentioned before my husband is really irresponsible when it comes to spending $ we're now so far behind that the mortgage co. called him at work because we have call intercept on our phone and when i saw it come up i just wouldn't pick up i had a gut feeling it was them. My husband called me from work to tell me they are threatening foreclosure he gave them our attorney's # he said not to refile until the situation with the car is taken care of see the thing is just one big pain in the butt. It's ready to fall apart with both the tie rods and transmission going after putting $750.00 into over the past few months and we've only had it 2 years it was 2 years old when we got it.Needless to say now between all this the surgery and the fact that this house is also a piece of ---- it needs a new kitchen all the cabinet doors are literally falling off due to the temperature in there between no insulation, inadequate heat vents and lousy windows, the fridge is crapping out, the bathroom needs a new sink and tub surround, faucets, the half bath needs a new sink, toilet (there's an old one which uses 6 gals per flush and we operate off a dug well the drilled one crapped out the day we signed the mortgage aggreement and we were out of luck with no home warranty, now the back rooms are like ice again no insulation and lousy windows and a leak in the one window water poured in. What more can happen maybe i shouldn't say that the day of my husbands gastric bypass 2 years ago we ended up with a blizzard and the septic backed into the house. On top of this my husband's 102 year grandmother whom i absolutely adored and was with it till the end died 12/29/02 and my mother- in- law died in october and of course my health problems!! THANK GOD I HAVE MY PSYCHOLOGY APPOINTMENT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

First, I am sorry that you have so much on your plate right now. Stress is overloading you. I went through a divorce a few years ago...ex was supposed to pay mortgage as part of his child support. Needless to say they foreclosed on me. I had to file bankruptcy so that I didn't end up with all of the debt he put on "our" credit cards. It was a mess and very stressing. I understand how you feel, but I think that all has to take the back burner to your health. If you aren't healthy you won't be able to deal with the stress.

Second, I called my dr. the week of Christmas and told him that I could not go through one more painful 20 day period. I wanted the surgery as soon as possible. I drive an hour to work and an hour home and couldn't take pain meds during these periods. Awful. So he set the surgery and I was excited. Then, three days before, I started with the what if's.....what if I am not doing the right thing, what if there is a lot of pain, etc.etc.... Everything you can think of. I almost chickedned out. TRUST ME though when I say that the waiting for it to be over really was the hardest part. I am 2 weeks post-op and have had a pretty good recovery so far. Keep yourself and your mind busy with other things. Let your DH take care of the bills and you don't worry about them now. Don't worry about your surgery, pretty soon you will be a princess and have a better quality of life. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts. I hope that this gets easier for you.

THE SUPPORT I'VE GOTTEN FROM EVERYONE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND DOES MAKE IT EASIER TO BEAR! IT'S NICE TO KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GOES THROUGH THIS!

Sending you a ton of love and hugs...this must be so incredibly tough for you.

You're almost there though, at least with regards to surgery. We're all here, behind you, rootin' for you!

Tess