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fought for hysterectomy, but now anxiety is insane fought for hysterectomy, but now anxiety is insane

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  #1  
Unread 02-14-2016, 08:05 PM
fought for hysterectomy, but now anxiety is insane

Long road here started at least 16 years ago with SEVERE anemia during pregnancy. I actually fainted after delivery. After the birth of my son 4 years later at which time he tied my tubes, he asked me to consider an ablation to help with my constantly changing iron levels. Hello, no periods heck yeah! A year later (11years ago) I had a successful NovaSure! Best decision ever!!! Solid levels ever since!

I don't exactly remember when I had my first abnormal pap, but I trusted by gyn explicitly and we took a wait and see approach, next 6 months clean, then abnormal then clean for several years. Well, Dr TrustedWithMyLife retired Following my favorite nurse practitioner was a no brainer, and I selected a former partner in prior Drs practice. She'd delivered my 2nd child, familiarity is good yes? HA! 5 years running she's decided to "fix" my abnormal pap issues, which I now know relates to HPV. 3 excruciating colposcopies/biopsies, 1 LEEP which she failed to numb me enough for and I was done. Skipped her torture chamber entirely last spring after she still refused to discuss hysterectomy. Well as fate works I had a heavy period in July. Now she wants a uterine biopsy. Hello? Ablation? You can't get in there. Cancelled that appt when I was told to bring 300.00 with me! For what? So you can inflict more pain to get nothing?? Well January brings another 10 day heavy bleed. I call my wonderful nurse practitioner who can't figure Dr Torture's refusal to operate either. She got me in with a new Dr. Ten minutes into this appointment I FINALLY had an team player!! He found me to be an "excellent candidate" for a vaginal hysterectomy, and no problem doing it with regional after complications with general!! I about kissed him!
Surgery scheduled for 3/30.
Today I am surprisingly sad. I love my cervix! Hubby bumped into her this morning again. I will miss that little trouble maker, I fear. Well except at pap result day - I won't miss that. I've been giving her extra attention this week. I now question if I want to go thru the surgery anymore or just needed some one to be on my page?!? Lots of anxiety (bipolar sucks) My psych is going to have her hands full Tuesday, and I don't envy my therapist for the rest of this 6 weeks either! However, process is started and I have a great friend in my cheering section who knows what I've been through, and had her hyster 2 years ago . She'll grab a knife if I try to skip out! LOL.
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  #2  
Unread 02-15-2016, 12:16 AM
Re: fought for hyster, but now anxiety is insane

Good luck on your upcoming event we all get scared and waiting is the worst I was so happy when my doctor told me she would give me a partial hysterectomy only had uterus removed but then the more I thought about it ( I tried not to ) the more I started to get scared and then when it got closers and closet I got more scared then the day came while waiting for the doctor to arrive I wanted to walk out my bf stopped me. But now I'm happy that I went through it I'm still healing but I'm hoping all my problems went away with the removal of my uterus. It's a major surgery so it's expected to be scared and worried. I'm sure you will be fine and you will be in my thoughts good luck
  #3  
Unread 02-15-2016, 02:17 AM
fought for hysterectomy, but now anxiety is insane

I think you have to trust your body and finding that doctor that said yes to a hysterectomy, you were relieved which I think means you're going in the right direction.

If you think you can hold off on your symptoms, you can postpone it until you feel comfortable.

I don't think anyone WANTS to have a hysterectomy but we are doing it to increase our quality of life.

As far as anxiety, I have anxiety, panic attacks and OCD. I have maxed out on my RX because the thoughts of surgery have been overwhelming, but going to see my therapist has been a relief and I'm working on reading and meditation.

There will be good days where you feel comfortable and then bad days when you feel like you can't.

One of the big thins that has helped me is letting go and knowing it's okay to cry whenever I need to. It's part of healing process.

We are here to support you every step of the way. You are not alone! You can do this!! 😊
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