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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
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05-06-2007, 08:50 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 43
Hysterectomy: April 12th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
I am still in great pain and going into the fourth week of post op. I am having pain during urination and bowel movements eventhough I am taking a fiber solution as well as motrin 600 and alternate with overthe counter meds when the pain is not as bad.
(J) my husband is counting down the weeks until we can resume sexual activities, but I am horrified at the thought.
We have not been active since last November due to the fibroid situation, but now since the hysterectomy, there is no more bleeding and embarassments.
How much longer will this type of pain last and what if anything can be done to help me to disperse the tension I am feeling with the "counting down" of weeks?
Reeses
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05-07-2007, 08:52 AM
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Posts: 81,723
Hysterectomy: April 7th, 2005
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
reeses cup
I'm so sorry you're having these problems with urination and bowel movements ~ have you talked to your doctor about them?
As for the fear of resuming sex post-op, that is perfectly natural. So many of us have been in that boat. The most important thing to remember is not to resume sexual activity until you have been cleared by your doctor and also, just as importantly, when *you* feel perfectly comfortable to do so.
I'm sure other ladies will be along to share their experiences ~ you're not alone with your concerns! Take care.
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05-07-2007, 09:25 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 510
Hysterectomy: March 13th, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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take it slow
Hi Reeses,
I'm 8 weeks out tomorrow and this last weekend was the first time we tried anything. I've been having problems with a rectocele (bowel falling into vagina) and old hernia repair adhesions pulling. Dr. said no sex if those are hurting. Friday, pain was almost minimal so we decided to try it. We took it very slowly, lots of foreplay. If something hurt we tried a different position (that made a big difference). All went pretty well. I was pretty TIGHT but all worked well and lubed easily. It was actually enjoyable. The only problem we had was at the very end. When we were going hot n heavy, both coming to the O, I started feeling him rubbing/bumping against the rectocele. It didn't hurt but made me feel like I had to BM. My trying to hold that in at same time of feeling vaginal stuff, killed the O for me. Afterwards, I tried to go the bathroom and nothing came. The good news, thus far, is that I haven't felt the rectocele in my vagina since then and the pulling at the adhesions has eased off as well. I guess when the rectocele returns, we'll just to have rousing sex again to push it back in. My DH will love that solution. :bedjump:
One other thing; about 2 weeks before this, I did a self stimulation session. Just to see how things would feel when I was aroused. If you're into that sort of thing, I think it helped me feel more at ease about what I'd feel during the real thing with DH.
Take it slow and Good Luck! LJC
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05-07-2007, 09:30 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 102
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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goaggies85
so did you have a rectocele repair? I did, I am post op 14 days and still having bm prob, but some of the meds may be doing that. today i plan on no more if i can. i am wondering how sex will be for us, glad it went ok for you, and it will just get better.
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05-07-2007, 10:55 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 35
Hysterectomy: February 26th, 2007
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
I'm sorry your pain is still with you. Yes, do not rush the sex thing.. My dr didn't give me the ok until 8 weeks and we waited an extra 2 because of my having to have a silver nitrate treatment around that time also. I was also very scared it'd hurt. We went slow and i did the driving as my boyfriend called it. I did not hurt one bit and i was so happy. we both were... i'm glad we waited until i was really really healed.
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05-07-2007, 02:12 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 43
Hysterectomy: April 12th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
Thank you. Did you have any apprehensions while waiting on "the day?"
I am in so much pain now that I dont even want to think of being intimate. But it has been a while for both of us. I know that my husband will keep on being understanding. I know that this feeling will gradually go away, but here is where I am now. Did soaking do any good? How about minimum streatching. I am not asking for a diagnosis or medical advice. I have already tried to go ahead of my pain and do a few exercises-- I had a set back.
I guess I am --well-- scared and need a little more confidence. You all are great with sharing.
Reeses cup
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05-08-2007, 07:17 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 510
Hysterectomy: March 13th, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
Reeses, I just realized the one reply was addressed to me. No, I've not had the rectocele repaired (yet). I had a TVH on March 13th. The rectocele issue showed up between weeks 2 & 3 during recovery. Kept feeling like something was in my vagina. The Dr. kept saying it was just swelling. Well, swelling has gone down and feeling is still there. From what I can tell, my rectocele is mild so far. Given what I've read on the site about rectocele repair recovery, I'm going to wait as long as possible to get it "fixed" if I can. I've just had a concomitant problem stop bothering me, so am now more inclined to wait (assuming the pulling problem I was having stays gone).
Please, don't rush into having sex if you feel you're really not ready. Doing it when you're not ready can be worse than waiting until you are. I think that's one thing the helped me, was I was READY when we finally did it. The guys feel like they can't wait any longer but point out to him, it will be MUCH better for him as well if you're on the same page. Also, the one thing my Dr. said when she approved me operation healing wise for sex. If it (the groin pull) still hurts, don't do it (sex). Pain is indicating healing is still needed.
Good Luck. LJC
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05-08-2007, 07:34 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 102
Hysterectomy: April 23rd, 2007
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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luvaggs85 rectocele
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by LuvAggs85
Reeses, I just realized the one reply was addressed to me. No, I've not had the rectocele repaired (yet). I had a TVH on March 13th. The rectocele issue showed up between weeks 2 & 3 during recovery. Kept feeling like something was in my vagina. The Dr. kept saying it was just swelling. Well, swelling has gone down and feeling is still there. From what I can tell, my rectocele is mild so far. Given what I've read on the site about rectocele repair recovery, I'm going to wait as long as possible to get it "fixed" if I can. I've just had a concomitant problem stop bothering me, so am now more inclined to wait (assuming the pulling problem I was having stays gone).
Please, don't rush into having sex if you feel you're really not ready. Doing it when you're not ready can be worse than waiting until you are. I think that's one thing the helped me, was I was READY when we finally did it. The guys feel like they can't wait any longer but point out to him, it will be MUCH better for him as well if you're on the same page. Also, the one thing my Dr. said when she approved me operation healing wise for sex. If it (the groin pull) still hurts, don't do it (sex). Pain is indicating healing is still needed.
Good Luck. LJC
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thats too bad your dr did not find it earlier. before i had mine done, i was always afraid to have sex, because i feared my husb could feel the stool pushing into the vag, plus i had terrible time having bm. hope it is fixed. i will know in a few more days. i am 16 days post op.
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05-08-2007, 07:42 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 213
Hysterectomy: April 6th, 2007
Surgery Type: LSH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Overcoming the fear of post op sex
Hi Poodle,
i understand how you feel, i had my LSH-BOS on april 6th and had some complications 4 days later, I'm feeling better with each passing day but still very sore, and so very fatigue. My Doctor cleared me after four weeks, and although it's been almost 5 weeks, I'm not ready for sex, want to wait 6 weeks and longer if i have to. Until I'm ready emotionally and physically. Fortunetly my Dh is understanding about waiting, don't rush it wait until you're ready you'll enjoy it better if you are, I Know i will.
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