TAH: How to prep kiddos?

I am having my hysterectomy on Wednesday and am still at a loss for how I should prepare my son (2.5 years old). He is my only kiddo and is very close to me, likes to use me as a climbing tower! Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with the kids without living in a hotel for a month???



27 yo, wife & med student
SLE, blood clotting disorder, endometriosis
4 abdominal laproscopies '02, '03, '05, '09
uterine ablation and tubal ligation '08
TAH 6/2/10

congratulations on your beautiful son! no doubt he is very precious to you!!!!

he is young, so it will be a bit tougher when you get home from the hospital -- since he is used to being physical. you might want to line up some help watching him when you are on your own. playdates, friends to have him over, or friends to come over and play with him. when i had a tonsillectomy, i had a 15 month old. hired a college student to do all-day sitting at my house the first week. cost a small fortune, but really helped initially.

even if you haven't used tv much to this point, thing about getting some age-appropriate DVDs (i.e., baby mozart stuff) to help pass time -- you can both sit close together. he won't be any worse for it if you use these to help fill time the first several weeks, don't worry!

he will need to learn to sit beside you. you can be firm on this, and at the end of recovery you will get back all the rougher-snuggles that little boys are full of. making a game out of his cooperation, or out of him bringing toys to where you are, or books to read together, may help motivate him during this time. hopefully, he will be eager to help you -- reaching things on floor you want to pick up, stuff like that. and if he tests you about climbing on you, just hold your ground with your limits -- he will learn that you mean it.

you can explain things in simple terms with your son. words like "don't touch -- mommy's tummy hurts where doctor fixed her," or something -- then give him an alternative (i.e., rubbing your feet or hands, or laying his head on your lap. just so he understands that you are okay, but need him to be careful around you. no need for any details, at that young age.

definitely get your rest when he rests!!! make it a habit the first several weeks, just like you had to when he was newborn. this will help you keep on a good recovery curve and not be tempted to overdo things that first month. ultimately, he will be okay, and so will you. be firm in your recovery rules so you can hopefully avoid setbacks!

best wishes, gilly, for a smooth surgery and recovery. sorry you have to go through this, but there must be a purpose, and the best you can do is whatever it takes to be healthy for your family to enjoy the years ahead. hang in there!!! keep a positive outlook!!

I made arrangements for my 3 year old and 15 month old to stay with family. That was hard to do because my family is 1000 miles away from me, and its been really hard not seeing my boys all this time but it was what was best. I knew if I kept them here I couldnt properly take care of them. My 3 year old is autistic as well so he is a challenge in himself. If you have a similar option I think its the best route honestly. I'll be doing that 2000 mile round trip with a few hours sleep when I get there then right back home drive June 11 to go get them and that puts me the weekend before i would be 5 weeks, I have no help here so I'm hoping for the best lol.

My daughter was 3 when I had my back surgery. Be basic with him.
Tell him where he can and cannot climb, how gentle he has to be so he does not hurt mommy.
Try to get rest when he is resting and protect yourself the best that you can.

Another suggestion is to make sure you always have a tummy pillow. This will protect you from any sudden bumps or unexpected jumps. I just used a cheaper, flatter sleeping pillow.
My kids are 6 and 10 and understood to be gentle with mommy but my little doggy wasn't on the same page...he he

I don't have any suggestions, but your situation is one of the main reasons I'm going ahead with my LAVH now, while my baby is 8 weeks. I think it will be easier while he's immobile.

Hi gillyflower82



When my son was 2 1/2, I spent 3 1/2 months on bedrest. I learned that as long as I was sitting or lying down, his climbing was mostly tolerable.

We do have an article in our Post-Op Resources page that you might find helpful: "Recovering with Small Children." You should find some suggestions that have been shared by women here over the years.

Might I suggest that when he's around and wanting to be near you, you might give him little tasks to do for you to help him feel as if he's helping you? My kids felt kind of helpless. They knew that I couldn't really move around and I was experiencing discomfort, but wanted to do something to help me. Perhaps he could get you a bottle of water, a box of facial tissue, fetch your lip balm, or even a pair of socks. My kids thought it was funny that I asked them to help me put socks on. Also, maybe you could "borrow" a stuffed animal every day and he could help choose the one you can borrow? I don't know if any of these help, but I wish you all the best and a speedy recovery!

my daughter was 22 months when i had my dvh-bso and was still nursing on demand... i just explained that mommy had an "owie" and showed her my bandages (i had 6 incisions)... she was fascinated and still loves to lift my shirt and look at my "owies"... she has been very gentle and only needed a reminder or two about being careful of my tummy... the hardest part for us was not being able to lift her for 5 weeks... that was a huge adjustment for both of us and it broke my heart when she needed me that i couldn't bend down or lift her... my husband took care of her and did a fabulous job... my night in the hospital was the first night we'd been away from each other and she didn't notice much... she stayed home with daddy and big brother and was fine...