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Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely? Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

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Unread 09-21-2017, 05:26 PM
Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

We have a 2 story house so for my 1st full day at home I decided I'd just stay in the bedroom or walking the hallway. But that has separated me from everyone as they go about their day.

I'm lonely but no one wants to sit with me. So then I get grumpy.

I try to ask for specific things so they know exactly what it is I want, but it seems like they don't even listen. I asked for a drink with ice, didn't get ice, etc. And then I get aggravated.

I hate to be this way. I know it's not easy to be a caregiver, I've done it, too. Just hoping I'm not the only one who'sa grinch after surgery?
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Unread 09-22-2017, 05:34 PM
Re: Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

Our emotions can be all over the map post-op. Even keeping your ovaries, they've had their blood supply compromised and may not be functioning properly for now. Tearful outbursts are something I see asked about quite a bit. We might not be able to control our hormone imbalance, but we have to realize our families can't either. Where we do have a choice is we react to our family.

It's true that you're #1 priority is healing, and for that, you need rest. What it doesn't mean, however, is total bed rest nor isolating yourself from your family. The message they're getting from you is "Leave me alone", and they're doing just that: trying to get your requests done quickly and tiptoeing so they won't disturb you. By getting your own drink - the way you like it with ice - it will allow you to get up and walk, increase your circulation (good for preventing DVT and blood clots!), interact with your family, and boost your mood for being able to do something for yourself.

Try setting up your Recovery Spot in an area of your home where you're more likely to engage in conversation with your family. I mainly stayed in the living room. When my daughter got home from school, we'd chat before she headed back to her room to study. My husband would come kiss me hello when he got home. During meal prep, I'd come to the kitchen and coach when needed - mainly finding cooking tools, or helping them figure out a recipe.

The other side of this is adopting an attitude of gratitude for whatever family does for you. Might not be up to your standards, but they're trying, and acknowledging that gives them a sense of relief that you're okay with their efforts. You may be surprised how the gratitude will go beyond surgery. It did for me, and I'm now appreciating anything family does which takes an item off my list.

I hope this might help with perspective. Be kind to and patient with yourself.

Unread 09-22-2017, 06:03 PM
Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

The reply felt very harsh. I was already feeling guilty, now even more so.

I will keep my emotions to myself in the future.
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Unread 09-22-2017, 06:37 PM
Re: Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

I'm very sorry you took it that way. Please know that I've been where you are: I started off in my bedroom, but it didn't last long because I felt isolated - and teary. The suggestions I offered were the very things that helped me, namely joining my family, setting up a recovery area to be closer to them, and making the extra effort to show gratitude.

A few resources for you to help you get through these early weeks. They do address emotional side of this recovery.Also, check out your Recovery Thread at Recovery Progress Reports for Sept 18-24. Recovery Threads are dedicated threads for women who had surgery the same week as you. They are wonderful for getting support, comparing notes, and encouraging others.

Unread 09-22-2017, 06:37 PM
Re: Does anyone else feel grouchy and lonely?

I have been grouchy, emotional and lonely. Trying to work through it.

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