New here and scared

Hi all!
I am going in on Feb 16th for a TAH/BSO and am totally scared! I am not really sure what to expect and of course not knowing is what is really freakin me out. I decided to have the hysterectomy because I have endo/adeno and the pain is just too much. I was never blessed with any children so this decision has be so hard on me and now that the date is actually set my emotions are going crazy! I am scared that I might not be doing the right thing even though I have been thru every treatment out there and have had a total of 11 surgeries to try to get some relief. My heart just breaks with the thought that I will never feel my child inside. I know there is adoption but, I always thought I would be able to conceive. I feel like a failure and now like a quitter. I know I will feel so much better afterwards and it will be nice to have no pain and get my life back but still I have doubts. The whole thought of having such a major surgery is making me a nervous wreck. Any pointers or advice on how to calm my fears. Am I making a big deal out of nothing (as some co-workers are telling me)? I would greatly appreciate any input or advice you all might have. I am really really glad I found this site!
Pain free wishes and healing hugs to all!!

hi. I am new here also. my name on the board is sbest for sharon best. I don't think you are making a big deal out of anything. Your co workers must be lacking some compassion. Major surgery is a scary thing. And your emotions are even more difficult to handel b/c your decision deprives you of biological motherhood. I would think any woman NOT having an emotional tough time with what you're dealing with would be a little weird. I believe God has a reason for allowing everything, and that it is our challange to find the good in His plan, which I believe is always there. I had a father with a very bad temper when I was growing up. I became very religious at age 18 when I was trying to clean up from a drug addiction. I did so, and then spent years working with abused children. I seemed to be a natural expert with them. I could then appreciate all I had been through, and could really see how my unhappy experiences within my family could be all used to help others. My family and I are going to say a rosary right after I post your reply. You and other sisters are included in our intentions and will remain there. Prayers, blessings and hugs. Sharon

Leigh Leigh, I underwent this procedure on January 16th of this year so I am still recuperating. I have done exceptionally well and thank God for it. I will keep you in my prayers because I know what you are going through. At least as far as the surgery is concerned. My heart goes out to you since you will be unable to bear a child. I pray God will comfort you. I wrote of my hospital experience on the testimonial site so you can go there to get more details. I didn't list what I needed during my stay. I know alot of the sisters took alot more and maybe needed it but the less you have to carry the better. Basics such as 2 gowns,robe,slippers,extra large panties,and toiletries are what I needed. The hospital supplied everything else. Maybe not all hospitals do this. I was able to get a sponge bath on the second day, put a fresh gown on, freshen my make-up(they let me wear make-up to surgery, yay!) and brush through my hair(I have short so it's easy) I can't tell you how much better that made me feel. I'm an avid reader but did not touch the book I brought. They brought me all the juice I wanted. Just a little "Happy" tip. Carry a bag or two of candy for the nurses. They love it. Mine were wonderful anyway but they really loved the "treats". Rest as much as you can before surgery and rest,rest,rest after. Tuesday will be 3 weeks for me. My only complaint is feeling weak and shaky sometime and a very little discomfort when I urinate. I had Fibroids and my uterus was greatly enlarged and had attached to my bladder. I know it was the prayers of family and friends and a wonderful doctor who brought me through. I also appreciate this site because the more I read the less fearful I became. If all these women could make it through I could too. So will you...God bless!

Hi Leigh Leigh,
I wish I could give you a {{{{Great BIG HUG}}}}!!
I know what you are going through. I had my TAH/BSO on Nov. 13, 2000. I sympathize with you not having any children. Most women do want children, but if it is not possible, God may have a little one out there in this world just waiting for you!! You try and not worry. Take care of your health. I know its really tough to say "try not to worry" because people told me this over and over but I couldn't get my mind off of the "what if's". But I am here to tell you, I wish I'd have done this a long time ago. And it is true, the waiting is the hardest part. The healing is very slow.( Don't let anyone fool you!) It is Major surgery and it does take time to heal. You will need lots of rest!!! Listen to your body, honey! It is talking to you. I was scared and didn't know what to expect, but my life is GREAT now!! No more bleeding! No more Pain! I can live again!!!!! I don't have to worry about standing up and leaking! The whole 9 yards. And adoption for you may just be a Super idea! Pray honey and ask direction from God. He is there for you as He is for me. May God Bless you and e-mail me anytime.
Your Hystersister, sonyiachappelle@hotmail.com

Hello leigh leigh, well first of all - take a big deep breath and calm down. I am 5 months post now and I promise the waiting is the hardest part. A wise hyster sister once said to me that it is like being on an emotional roller coaster. How true she was You will go through major surgery , there will be pain but the operation will free you from all the pain you have been experiencing with endo. You are certainly not a quitter or a failure !!! God has a plan for you , so trust Him. Each day until your op. try to do a little something for you, whether it is a nice cup of tea or a moment in silence. I am sending lots of love and prayers from down under to you . Dont forget that we are here always for you.

Leigh, I can't really add anything that my wise sisters havent already said! I agree totally on what Robyn, my Aussie sis said....YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!
The only person who'd DARE call you a failure would HAVE to be someone who has never experienced pain like all of us have, to different degrees. I, too beleive that God has a plan for you...we do not always understand his plans to start with..and sometimes never! But please believe he is right there, carrying you thru this...Remember the poem Footprints? I look and read it often, it is soo true.
Luv and lots of (((((HUGS))))),