Surgery Oct.16th

Hi
I am new to this site-I am scheduled for surgery to remove uterus on Friday-I have had many surgeries in my life but I have a bad feeling I can't shake. In Jan. of 2008 I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks, when I found out there was no longer a heartbeat-I was to say the least devastated. I ended up having a DNC and they missed some tissue and I ended up back in the ER to have another DNC-needless to say I have had problems ever since. After a few months we had tried for another but no luck-and right now I am on day 26 of very heavy bleeding and i am very anemic. I am 37 and so scared.

I just wanted to say that all of the fears you have are normal. You have found the right place for comfort and support. The sisters on this site are a blessing when it comes to guidance, understanding, and a shoulder when needed. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time with all you have been thru....just know that you are strong and you will get thru this as well. Take care!

Dear Nic,
I am 37 and five weeks post abdominal hysterectomy (kept cervix and ovaries). I am so sorry that you are losing your uterus when obviously you were still trying for children. I also wanted children with no luck so I know how this feels.

I wanted to let you know that I am feeling better already then I felt before the surgery. I had 7 iron infusions and one four unit blood transfusion in the last few years trying to stave off this hysterectomy in order to get pregnant. I am only starting to realise how crap I felt physically and mentally prior to the surgery.

Apart from the pain, lack of sleep and anaemia caused by my heavy bleeding, aswell as the side effects of hormonal treatments, I lived in fear of a massive uncontrollable haemorrhage which finally happened. I had already booked in for the surgery when it was precipitated by an emergency admission to hospital.

The fear is gone, the pain is gone, the mentally bracing myself for the next period is gone, the anaemia is gone, the lack of sleep is gone.

I took five weeks off to rest and recover not just from the surgery but from the years leading up to the surgery. Take really good care of yourself and look forward to a new life!

NCI91,

You will be just fine. Have faith in God that he will see you through. Although you may not be able to have children physically you are still able to adopt. God allows things to happen for a reason it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He loves you very much. I will keep you in my prayers.

HUGS

Nic91,

I know the pain you have been through and continue to feel about your loss. The same thing happened with my first pregnancy. I was so happy to be having a baby and was doing great. At 4 months gestation, I went in for an ultrasound, and that is when they realized the heart had stopped beating. My baby had died and my body didn't even know it. I had to go through the grief and agony of the D+C as well (and the extra agony of having my milk come in after it was over)and it has taken years for me to make peace with the loss. Lots of people don't understand the pain of losing your baby, they refer to it as a fetus, but it is so much more - all the hopes and dreams of a perfect little person to love. I am 36 now and a bit older and wiser than I was back then, but the pain isn't gone, it has just changed over time. My husband and I planted a tree in memory of our baby. It helped us by having something to recognize the life of our little one.

I hope you have had someone to talk to about your loss. I know I didn't back then, and desperately needed it. This up coming surgery is understandably scary for you and it is no wonder it is giving you sad/bad feelings. Post your thoughts on the boards here so that you don't have to carry your fears alone.

Prayers and Hugs.