A hubby problem...

I'm scheduled for a LAVH on Nov. 9th. My husband, despite me telling him what to expect, seems to think I'll be up and around in a day or so, doing the things I normally do. I keep telling him that this is VERY serious...that no, I won't be able to take care of all four of our dogs (one of which will be getting snorfleed on Nov. 8th!), no, I won't be driving, no, I won't be doing dishes or laundry for at least a few days.

Anyone else run into this problem? I guess it's no big deal but he's really beginning to get under my skin!

I had my LAVH 5 days ago and there is no way I am going to do any of that! I'm up and walking, but it is very slowly. I helped fold the laundry after my DS took it out of the dryer. That's about it. The doctor said I can't do any of the chores for at least 2 weeks. Maybe your DH can go to the doctor with you and the doc can explain the recovery. A hysterectomy is major surgery no matter how it is done. Maybe this is just his way of dealing with the nervousness of you having surgery? Men show their anxiety differently than we do.

It is a big deal. You are going to have MAJOR surgery and you will need the full 6 weeks to recover. I'm just into my second week of recovery and I still don't have the energy to do much of anything. There's a Mister Hyster section here and I suggest you get him to look at it.
I read somewhere here that wear your PJs as much as possible. That lets everyone know you're recovering and still don't feel well. It seems that once you start to wear your regular clothes they think you're better and can do those things you always do.
I sat my hubby down and told him flat out. I will not be doing jack squat for the next 6 weeks. I told him he had to pull his weight and do those things I normally do, like empty the cats litter box and go grocery shopping. He took what I said to heart and has been a real trooper. I also have 2 teenagers and they have been wonderful as well. Looking thru the Mister Hyster section was helpful to him and he realized that I would need lots of TLC.
Your hubby will come around. He's just clueless like most men are about these things. Mine was.
You only get one chance to heal properly. Rest, rest, rest and don't over do it. Listen to your body.
Best wishes to you sweetie. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of s,
Tish

Honey , YOU will be fine . get a pet sitter and leave everything for him when he gets home from work if he wants to bury his head in the sand , so to speak LET HIM ! He will just have to learn the hard way ........ and be sure to tell him you will need lots and lots of hugs and kisses . The emotional ups and downs is what got me and the fatique BUT having no more monthly visits is WONDERFUL and SOOOOOO worth it girl !

Take Care
Pattie

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Stacy68 I'm scheduled for a LAVH on Nov. 9th. My husband, despite me telling him what to expect, seems to think I'll be up and around in a day or so, doing the things I normally do. I keep telling him that this is VERY serious...that no, I won't be able to take care of all four of our dogs (one of which will be getting snorfled on Nov. 8th!), no, I won't be driving, no, I won't be doing dishes or laundry for at least a few days. Anyone else run into this problem? I guess it's no big deal but he's really beginning to get under my skin!

You're far from alone. In fact, your problem is one of the most common ones we see here! Welcome to the (((sisterhood))).

Thankfully, most husbands (and parents, and children) eventually come around and discover that this is in fact major surgery. They wouldn't expect you to be up and around a few days after open heart surgery...but somehow this doesn't seem as serious to them. Really, they aren't being unfeeling -- they just don't realize how big of a deal this is.

My own husband was among those who felt this would be no big deal. When I first confirmed I would be having the surgery, he told me his mother had been back to normal in about a week after her hysterectomy. I just stayed quiet.

A week or so later when I met with a surgeon to schedule my surgery, I relayed my husband's skepticism to the surgeon. I said, "DH says I'll be up and around in a week." He did a complete double-take, shook his head and said, "Six to eight weeks is the initial recovery period." Then he went back to typing.

A few days after this episode, dh casually mentioned that he thought I should ask my dd (who was 16 at the time) to come stay with us for several weeks after my hysterectomy. I asked why, and he said, "Well, you'll pretty much be out of commission for 6 weeks at least." I accused him of reading my books but he just said, "I can use the computer too, you know."

One resource which I find to be very helpful is the Mayo Clinic website . If you search on "hysterectomy", you'll get a very clear discussion of post-op recovery expectations. You can very kindly, yet firmly, point out to your husband that if the Mayo Clinic thinks this is how it is, this is probably how it is.

to you. I hope your dh comes around and begins to get it. And we're here for you, no matter what happens.

My husband is clueless. He has taken 3 days off from work and we have 2 daughters 1 & 5 yrs and 2 dogs. I have NO family here to help and none coming either. I am praying he gets a clue in the next week my surgery is Nov 7th.
My poor babies.

EndoA, call in favors. Do you belong to a church? Know anyone in the community? Your kids' playmates' parents? A moms' group? Seriously. I came home yesterday and alternate feeling great, then collapsing into three hour naps. My youngest is four and even as independent as that can be, needs supervision and attention. DH is taking off one week as of today but we're taking it day by day.

Have you put up some meals? I wish I'd gotten all the laundry folded and put away.

Thank you to everyone for the information...I will definitely be checking into that website and checking out Mister Hysters (and getting HIM to check it out too!)

I am also having LAVH 11/9. I guess I am very lucky. My DH is super supportive as far as picking up any slack. I have been through several surgeries not to mention all the days that I am down and not feeling well. The part he isn't very good at is dealing with my anxiety. I know lately I have been rather ......on edge to say the least. Last night he so eloquently informed me that I HAVE to find something to "take the surgery off my mind." He said HE couldn't take it anymore. I told him he had good intentions but short of knocking me out for the rest of my wait there was NO WAY I was gonna be able to do that. I know everyone handles stress thier own way but c'mon. I wish there was a magic answer but the chances are once you out of the OR and he sees what its really all about He'll change his tune. Good Luck. You will be in my thoughts.

Stacy68,

Speaking of men:
(it helps to keep your sense of humor when you speak of the male creature,lol)

Eve chats with God.

"Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of
these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm
just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution.
I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain;
all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will
like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will
satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish
things like fighting and hitting a ball about. He won't be as smart as
you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the
catch Lord?"

"Well ...you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that Lord?"

"As I said he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll have to
let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little
secret........ you know, woman to woman.”

Here's the link previously mentioned , just in case you didn't get there yet.

Hope all goes well for you!

http://misterhystersisters.com