Am I doing the right thing?

Wow, SPARKLIES, you sure know how to put someone at ease. I hope your words resonate for the others of us facing surgery soon for reasons that didn't seem that serious. Loved that you took the "old girl" with you to "the party." While I'm not ready to have a "goodbye to my uterus" event as such, I'm already looking forward to being past the op, and into the "getting over" phase. Thank goodness for this site. I would be a proper mess without it, and despite what the DH is doing to support, in the end, I think women, talking frankly, are the best help we can have.

When I started getting my "send me to the moon" pains about a year ago, I started looking into ovarian cancer, because I had a pretty good idea it was my right ovary causing the problem. Nothing I have read was encouraging. When my OBGYN said, "Shall we take it all?" I didn't hesitate. There is no indication of cancer in my case, nor do I have a family history of it, and I want to keep it that way. I posted a thread a few days ago asking whether or not I was just fooling myself about my good feelings towards this surgery. I got 10 or so responses and nobody said they thought I was. Since I scheduled my date 2 weeks ago for next Tues., I have talked to many, many friends who said it was one of the best decisions they made. I'm 44, so most of my friends are between 35 and 50, so none of us were even entertaining having more children. I was given the advise on this site that our uteruses (uteri :-) ) don't define our womanhood, and I have always believed that. Nor does childbearing define our womanhood or our "mothering" capabilities. My advise would be to collect your thoughts, feelings, and information - make your decision - and then don't look back. We are woman, hear us roar! We are strong and decisive and can make a decision and stick to it (if we must) :-). Why can't I convince myself of all of that when it's time to stick to a diet? ~Susan

Your feelings are completely normal. I had LAVH as the only means to stop a 2 year battle with anemia (as a result of years of hemoraging). The last 3 months were the worst as I progressively worsened with each period and right at the end there I couldn't wait to have the surgery and make the exaustion go away.

My husband and I are done having kids (complete with him having vasectomy 8 years ago) and yet I felt like I was loosing something major, as though it was a power I posses and did not want to loose that. Even if my husband were to die, I would never even consider more children, so why the stress over giving this body part up?! Even now, following the surgery, I'll have mixed days where I think to myself, "WOW, I can't have children." So, here is where I think your feelings are completley normal. I think we all have the feelings regardless of how bad we want the darn thing yanked out and would do it ourselves if we could.

Your years of suffering with the endo are reason enough to go through with your surgery. You WILL FEEL so much BETTER. You deserve to feel wonderful, young and ALIVE again, not to mention pain free.

Every gal in my family has had a hysterectomy by age 35 and one had it at age 18. They all swore, prior to my surgery, that it was the best thing they ever did for themselves and that I too would feel wonderful a few months after my surgery.

I'm close to 4 weeks post-op now and have for the last 2 days felt ALIVE. I'm on a high horse and trying not to overdo it and bring myself right on down again. I WAS rather discouraged as I seem to still be fighting the anemia and mainly want to sleep ALL THE TIME. But hey, 2 days now of feeling terrific is amazing and I will cling to that even if I go down hill again because I know it IS possible to feel good now.

So glad you found this board - I would have loved to have had this prior to my surgery. You feel so alone once you find out you're going to have a hysterectomy and this board helps you to see there are TONS of women out their exactly like you and they too want to TALK!

Hiya

I am 34 and booked my LAVH for the 24th of March, last week.

Since then I have thought about backing out, not because I think I will miss something, but because I think there is a difference between making a decision to not have any more children and having the decision completely taken away from you.

My kids are 8,7 and 4, I had bad pregnancies. The last one left me with post traumatic stress, that to this day still haunts me and I find it difficult to talk about.

I have had years of pain and heavy bleeding, and a very unhelpful GP that basically told me that its all my head! I have been suffering with severe chronic pain since August and every time this pain increases it just strengthens my reasons for having the hyst.

I know that some people panic about HRT, and I am keeping my ovaries so at this stage its not really an issue, but if my gynie had suggested this route I wouldnt have hesitated. Whats worse, living on 50 nurofen plus a week or taking one hrt tab a day?

For me the pain is my biggest issue, and I need this resolved. I honestly believe that if you feel unsure then maybe you should see another doctor. If its a fibroid issue maybe seek the help of an endocrinologist. If your worried about losing your uterus then this may be the way to go. Please dont go ahead with it if you are unsure. There could be other options available to you.

Hugs Suziedee

Thanks again all for your words of support!

Today, I'm feeling like I can't wait until the surgery. I'm on my period, bleeding a lot, and feel tired! Days like this make me think I've made the right choice.

One reason why I'm second guessing my decision is the fact my son will never have any sibblings now. We talked to our 12 y.o. last night and told him that this surgery will prevent me from having more children. We asked him how he felt about not having any brothers or sisters. He said "that's o.k." ..... "all my friends say I'm lucky". I asked him why. He says..."because I'm an only child and I don't have to share a room".

He's never asked us about having brothers and sisters. Maybe it's because he's always had cousins and friends to play with? Being an only child is normal to him. He's never thought differently. So, I guess I should be glad that he's happy and stop beating myself over the head!

Ann, both of my kids wish they were only children! My mom had 4 children and she said we all said the same thing. He sounds happy and well adjusted, I'm thinking you'll all be fine! Good luck tomorrow. I'm getting really nervous (and a little scared about the unknown) myself. I really didn't think I would, but hey, we're not super-heros :-) ! ~Susan

I think each of us sharing our stories helps so much. Your situation sounds almost identical to mine. After bleeding or spotting for almost a year, I stomped into the Dr's office and said "I can't take this any more, I have no quality of life and my husband wants you to know neither does he!" He listened to my embarrassing accidents and asked if I didn't carry protection. PLEASE, I always had it but sometime I had no warning just flooding. He finally said I had better consider a hyst. I told him I was ready so he referred me to a GYN.

Went over everything with GYN and he examined and said not only should you, you need to. That was in November and he reminded me that my deductable would start over Jan and would I like to have by end of year. Oh by the way have to have incision due to Uterus being so large and fibroids. I just kinda stared and said ok.

Got in the car called my DH and started to cry. Now it wasn't in my control. He soothed me I barried my head in the sand with lots of work until date came around and went for it.

I am 51 and have been infertile for 30 years (have one child) and obviously not looking at having more children but I kinda went in shock. I didn't work through before surgery so had to deal with it during healing. That's how I found this site. I kind of went through a little mourning period . . Don't ask me why . .

So the advice to read, read, read is so great and you are dealing with most of it before and it's still your decision. I also took my "American Express" (called it that cause I never left home without it) to the hospital. I KNOW it's got to be better than bleeding so much I was weak and "having no life style".

So hang in there!

Hi vpiltk,

I know exactly how your feel about mourning. I, too, am 51, a grandmother and definitely finished having children. But about 2 weeks after surgery I was watching the discovery channel about babies and just stared bawling. Guess the finality of it all just hit. Not that I wanted to have a baby....no way. But just the emptiness of knowing that it was really over. Maybe it was just the 2 week weepies I don't know. So I had a good cry day and then moved on. :cry: I still find myself getting a little misty at times, but it's better. I don't feel I'm less of a woman at all. I think we all just have some grieving to do regardless of our age.

It's much better now as things are healing. But I think emotionally we have healing to do also.

Hope this finds you moving forward and getting well.
Blessings

Thanks Sparkles,

You said it just right. I am getting better, slower than I wanted but improving everyday. Anyway that's what my DH says!

I feel the same way.....I've battled heavy periods.....cramps, etc....bc pills did not help, other than pack on the pounds.....as I approach my surgery on Fri. 2/13 (yikes!!) I feel funny about "losing my uterus"....I've had my tubes tied several years ago, as I have a 13 year old son, and he was a high risk pregnancy so didn't want to do that again......but I'm afraid of having this "empty feeling" without the uterus....I know....sounds silly.......anyone else?