Really thoughtless people

I've got some for you . . . . I've been told I'm lucky, that they're jealous I'm having this surgery, it's all in my head, and the latest one was "I know someone that had their gall bladder out and they were up right away so you should be too" I just looked at that person with my mouth open. I didn't even have a reply. I guess all we can do is laugh at the crazy comments and come here and chat about them.

My twin sister and I own a retail company together. She is a bit of a hypochondriac, and stays home from work for any reason. I pretty much go to work no matter what. Some days I have to take a change of clothes and take pain killers at work, but I still go. In the past 10 years, she has probably averaged 20 sick days a year. I haven't had 20 days in 10 years.

Now that I am scheduled for a hysterectomy, she is yammering at me every day. Do I think I'll be gone more than a week? Do I think my disablity pay will be enough to live on while I'm off? Funny thing is, when I say maybe I'm entitled to sick pay for as many sick days as she's had, she looks at me like I'm crazy. She has also started to mimic my symptoms - at least that's what she is saying - that she thinks she is going to need a hysterectomy, too. She also says that her doctor is thinking of putting her on disability - no specific reason - he just "thinks it might be good for her".

She has been telling some of our employees that she just knows I'm planning to milk it and stay home for 6 weeks. She keeps telling me how guilty she knows she's going to feel when she has to call me half a dozen times a day to ask me things she doesn't know the answers to. She owned our business for 8 years before I bought half of it from her! She shouldn't need to ask me anything!

Thank goodness my husband will also act as my protector and keep her off of me until I feel better. I've elected to have the epidural - my sister will probably want me to have a phone with me in the OR so she can get her pestering in as soon as possible. Maybe I should have a general just so she'll know there is no possibility of them passing me the phone! LOL!!

It is going to be a tough time, I can just feel it.

Connie

I feel your pain!!! My MIL is this way. As soon as she finds out what you are having done, she has something negative to say about it. I think it is so insensitive but I guess she doesn't see it that way!! The funny thing is she complains about people that do the same thing to her. I don't get it! I would never say anything negative to anyone! Oh well when I was pregnant I heard every horror labor story you could hear!! I don't know why people are so rude. I'm sending you a Big !!! I know you will be fine and feel better soon!!!

Barbara

Yeah, I've had co-workers tell me that this is a good way to get a summer vacation (?!) Some people are just better empathizers i guess, I haven't come up with a good answer either, but I sure am familiar with the problem!

I tell people that say things about "vacation" to me -

"Nope. Not a vacation. If this were a vacation there would be ocean waves, palm trees and men in loincloths bringing me drinks with umbrellas stuck in them!"

I am sorry that you have had to deal with an insensitive oaf like that and that is one of the reasons that I haven't told anyone except the people who really need to know what is going on with me. It was especially unfortunate that you weren't even talking to her in the first place. I wish I had some magic words for you to have said, but alas, there is no real comeback for something that insensitive. You wrote to me a few weeks back about whether I should wait until after the summer or not and you really helped me think this thing through and if you are looking at my surgery date, you will see that it is this Friday. I have been running around like crazy trying to get everything done and I am beginning to drop things off my priority list as I realize that I am almost out of time. Still, I guess the waiting over the summer would have been much worse and I could have been, too. Please just concentrate on getting done what you need to get done for yourself and your family. I know that making your decision was hard so ignore anyone who isn't helping you get through the next few weeks.

When I told my boss I was having a TVH, he said "Oh, so that won't be so bad since they don't have to cut you open". I replied to him... "When you have your prostrate pulled out through your penis, let's talk!" He backed off right away & told me to take as much time as I need!! (Hope this isn't too graphic!!)

when trying to decide whether or not to keep my ovaries(which are healthy and there is no history of cancer, just horrible migraines and pms) my dh said well your through with them (meaning no more kids) and you could get cancer just take it all. I was so mad at him I just said fine well you could get prostate cancer so while we are at it why don't we just cut your balls off . That shut him up quickly and ever since he has been very careful about saying anything without researching with me first. He really is usually a great guy and thought he was really helping just caught me in one of those moods .

So sorry you had to hear that. Some people just get off on scaring and/or hurting people with their words. I know it's hard, but try to ignore them, and only talk to people who genuinely care about you.