Hubby too busy; can I do this alone?

I'm an American living in Germany, and I am having my uterus taken out on April 6. It will be a laproscopic procedure, abdominally with 4 incisions. Thankfully, I am keeping my cervix and ovaries. I am going to talk to the doc about doing a bladder tack while he is in there since I am tired of having to cross my legs every time I sneeze, cough, or laugh.

My worry is that because my DH has a stressful job, he can only take a few half days off to help me. I have 2 kids, ages 7 and 10 who are not as helpful as they should be. I have no family in the area, nor any friends close enough to ask to help.

I don't know, honestly, what to expect as far as how much I can really do alone. How important is it that someone be around when I get home? What kind of help will I really need? Can I do this alone?

Well you will definitely need someone to clean your house for several weeks so you might consider hiring some one to do that. Your kids will have to step up to the plate and help you. My 10 year old helped me load the washer/dryer and dishwasher. My husband works an travels a bunch so there were many days I was on my own especially when my daughter was at school. Be sure to gonto the store and purchase easy to prepare meals ie frozen, salads, sandwiches.

kdnwbrry - It is good that you are going to talk to your doctor about your bladder issues. Don't be surprised if he or she refuses to do the tack and waits to see how you are after the hysterectomy. My doctor basically said to wait and see how things go because if he tacked it up and it wasn't necessary, then I could end up with having problems urinating. I also had fibroids and my bladder leakage issues were gone once my uterus was taken out. It is so nice not to have to worry about leaking. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

I can't imagine not having support available for the first week or two, especially with a 7 and 10 yo. I am the one in my family with the crazy, too busy, too much travel lifestyle. But if the tables were turned and my husband was having surgery, I would find a way to take off the time so I could be there if he needed me to. I am lucky, I will have plenty of support, my husband doesn't work, so he will be here. My dear mother-in-law will be anxiously waiting to see if my lap surgery turns into abdominal surgery... she is 7 hours away by train and bus, but will come at a drop of a hat.

Is there any way your husband can work at home, the first week after your surgery? That way he may be able to establish a routine with the kids so they understand what you can and can't do.

Also, do you have any brothers and sisters that could come and help? My family is really bad about asking for help, but as we are finally asking for help when we need it.

Good luck. My surgery is the week before yours. Hang in there and don't over do it?

Diana
LSH 3/29/11

Just remember -- your doctor may be fully planning to do a TLH. Mine were (I had 2) but when they went in everything was so gummed up from endometriosis that had to do a TAH. And there is no way you can do that alone!

My husband only had two vacation days saved up so we opted to not have him at the hospital when I had my surgery. He came straight away after work and stayed by my bedside until 9 p.m. I went to my mom's house the first two days after the surgery and then my husband took his two vacation days - so I consider myself lucky that I had 4 days of support. After that I was on my own and while it might not have been ideal by that time I was taking the heavy-duty meds (NORCO) only at bedtime. I have a 4 year old daughter and 9 year old son but my 9 year old was on vacation out of state with my parents and just got home today. So it was just me and my 4 year old. I had to watch HER SHOWS all day, Yo Gabba Gabba is pointless IMO but it was all I could do to keep her at least a little bit happy. She likes to cut, too, so I bought her a pair of kids blunt-tip scissors and a package of construction paper. She spent two days HAPPILY cutting paper at the kitchen table watching her shows. What a mess that was!

I would say looking back on it that I would have probably been able to manage at day 3 on my own IF I HAD TO. But I think that you NEED some assistance AT LEAST the first 2 days post-op. I had the SAME type of procedure as you only I had the whole she-bang removed (both ovaries, tubes, uterus, and cervix).

Good luck!!!! Please keep us posted. *HUGS*

My husband traveled overnight on day 3 of my post op. I was okay. Basically stayed in bed propped up by pillows. I would get up to go to the bathroom, get something to drink, and eat meals at the table. I had friends that brought dinner for a few days so that helped alot.

I encourage you to try and find someone to help you, especially because of your kids. Ask for referrals at the hospital, or the American embassy. Is there a church in your neighborhood? The surgery you describe, LSH, will be one of the least invasive, but you will still need to rest and heal. I hope you do find some help, and when you feel better, you can help the next person !

I would say the first 2 days after you are home are most important. My poor 8 yo was on spring break that week. I imagine it might have been easier to have him in school. I found that positive reinforcement and small token rewards worked well. He really stepped up.
I had a TAH and I am doing so much better than I thought I would. Hope the same holds true for you.

I am in a similar situation. My DH had this ONE week that he was given as a vacation week- he is not allowed to take any other time off. I have 3 kids- 11,6,&3. My surgery is tomorrow and I should get home wednesday. he will be with me until the next monday when he goes to work. I got about 10 full dinners frozen and ready to just put in the oven (and a list of them so I can tell someone to go get it and put it in for me) My oldest does the dishwasher and I have shown him how to operate the oven so that he can at least put dinner in (DH should be home to get dinner out), I have also gone on a MASSIVE cleaning frenzy so if not alot gets done while I am unable, it won't be horrible. I also have some GREAT neighbors that I have enlisted to help take my kids to school, and come and help out with things throughout the day for the second week. After that 2nd week, I will be able to drive and at least get around okay by myself.
Also- I have always noticed that when I have really been sick or needed help, my kids have really stepped up to the plate. I think even my 3yr old will be okay and try to help.