Odd Extreme Pain with Intercourse

Sorry for not introducing myself, but really desperate to post and get help with this problem. I'm Val, btw. I am 41.

Well, I could not find my exact issue in other posts, so that is why I am posting a new thread. I am 7months post op. Da Vinci assisted Total Hysterectomy with Oophorectomy and bladder reposition. I had a prolapsed uterus and bladder and ovarian cysts.
The recovery has not been a good one. My doctor is some big shot in this small town and I hated going to see him. He always treated me with a terrible bedside manor and would tell me my pains are all in my head. He does not believe in HRT and thus, I suffered greatly through the menopause symptoms. I went back numerous times only for both of us to become more frustrated.
It took me longer than the standard 6 weeks to totally heal. One of my outside sutures tore open and now there is a big scar where it was. I lost my job due to this surgery. So, now I have no health insurance.
About 3 months after surgery, I attempted intercourse. Really bad idea. He tore my skin apart inside. Most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. I should mention I am not dry. I was overly producing before I had surgery and now, I'm about average. So, I haven't used a lubricant. My problem is not penetration related. Needless to say, I went to the ER and then back to the Gyno. I was so embarrassed.
I was told he tore me and that my healing was looking great with only a few sutures still trying to dissolve. But, still never had acknowledgement for all my pain. I bled for the longest time after surgery. I've only stopped bleeding in the past month or so.
Anyway, I tried to have sex again last night. Went one round and it was ok. However, on round 2 he penetrated too deep and I felt a pop and snap. It was nothing like when my skin was torn. That was much, much worse, but this was still awful. Afterwards, we went to bed and I woke up with the worst gas bubble in my gut ever. He was beside himself, thinking it was his fault. I'm so afraid I'll lose him over this, we aren't even, officially, a couple yet.
Well, as of this morning, my bladder is in horrific pain. It hurts really bad to pee. Not where it comes out, but inside when I'm going. I'm having to strain and I'm in agony. Does not feel like a UTI. Feels like someone beat the crap out of my bladder. However, very minimal bleeding with intercourse this time. Just yellowed the T.P.
I'm dirt poor, on unemployment and cannot afford to see a doctor and after my previous treatment, I'm reluctant to see another gyno anyway. If this doesn't get resolved, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life alone. I would die. Please, any advice?

O.k. So the results are in. I went to the ER yesterday due to fever with the extreme pain in my abdomen. Apparently, sexual intercourse bruised me pretty bad. Go figure.

However, during the course of investigation for the fever I was told I have PID and BV. First of all, how on earth can I have PID when I have no organs left? I had a TOTAL hysterectomy. Not to mention, I've only had 1 sex partner in 4 months. Same person who tore my surgery open back in October and I have not had sex since then.
Second, if I've had BV for some time and I have not been sexually active since October, why didn't my gyno catch it in November? I was tested for STD's back then when I had the tear. This is just really unbelievable. I can't imagine developing the bacteria for an STD overnight, but if it comes back positive, what other course should I assume? If the possible and logical aren't the answer the only ones left are impossible. The ER doctor even asked if I use toys etc? (OMG I got so red faced and embarrassed.) No I do not. Does anyone have any type of theory here? I'm at a complete loss.

I'm really happy you went to the E.R. I know you don't like the idea of using lube, and I didn't need it much before surgery, but now I use tons. It really does help prevent tearing and injury. I was actually shocked at how much I needed. It seemed the more we used the less I hurt. Getting B.V. does not require having intercourse or any other object in the vagina. I got it at 5 weeks post op and had not yet put anything into my vagina. The doc explained that it can be caused by an overgrowth of the "healing cells." So it's not necessarily an STD. Bacterial vaginosis can cause painful sex by itself. They found my BV by doing a swab of the interior of my cuff and looking at it under the microscope. They found "clue" cells. If your gynecologist did not do this it is unlikely he would find BV early on. As for the PID, it is not necessarily a STD. My cousin's wife got it apparently during her hysterectomy. He doctor told her it just happens sometimes. She does still have her ovaries. I really hate to ask, but is it possible your partner could have it? When PID is treated, depending on type, usually both parties are treated. He may have had it and had no symptoms for a while (like many months). PIDs can cause extremely painful sex, and that may be your problem with painful intercourse. You should look into having your partner checked so that when you resume relations you don't pass it back and forth. So sorry you have had to endure all this. I hope things get better for you

Ty for the reply Elsie. I appreciate the input. It's very calming to say the least.
To address a few things tho, I've only had sex with this partner twice. Once in October when I was torn and once Friday night. I had a full STD screen between those 2 times in November. Nothing came up. Was also screened for things at the hospital the night he tore me in October. Then again after November in the gynos office, because I was complaining of pain and he told me it was all in my head, along with the bleeding.
It just seems as often as I've been tested, poked and prodded down there recently, someone would have found something.
I mean, I had Kidney stone Lithotripsy beginning of July and 3 weeks later had my Total Hysterectomy and 2 months later had an Upper GI Endo. Complications all along the way with the Hyst.
And, with everything I've read, so far, nothing is mentioned about being able to have PID with absolutely no fem organs. I suppose I could be one of those rare cases. But, why no fever or pain til now? It takes at least 3-5 days to incubate and show signs. I had intercourse Friday night and by Saturday afternoon I was running a fever and was in severe pain from my ribcage to my pelvic bone. It just makes no sense to me. The only other thing I can think of is when I was a young stupid teenager. I had sex with a guy and by next day I had the same problem. Fever, pain, only much worse. He had given me Chlamydia overnight. No days for incubation. Just WHAM!
Well, thank you for listening to my ranting and raving. And, taking the time to hear my own 'what if' queries. I do appreciate it again.