TAH After 2 weeks, nobody cares...

I completely understand. I am going through the same thing. I get so frustrated I cry. Which for me is a new thing. It's hard enough to ask for help in the first place. Then to have them not be understanding, makes it much worse. We are still healing. We need to be surrounded by supportive, positive people. That is why I am so thankful to be here, with all of these wonderful, courageous women! Our family and friends may have forgotten about us. But we all have each other here!

Out of all the posts I have read, this one has me in floods of tears.

Not only am I Day 10 from my TLH, but I have other chronic health issues, and the last three years have been unable to work even part time. I am single and live alone.

And I have felt very alone, especially in the last 5 days or so. My closest friends seem to have forgotten about me, except for one, and what hurts even more is that two of them have been in hospital in the last couple of months, and I visited them, organized meals for them, took flowers etc. I didn't do it, so they would feel obligated to support me, but I didn't expect to feel forgotten by them either.

It's tough dealing with both the post op stuff, and other health issues, it's even harder feeling like you are doing it on your own. The tears are still flowing as I write this.

Sending s to you all who feel alone

Hi Wombat, just to let you know you are not alone and how generous of spirit to be thinking of others and sending hugs when you too are feeling pain. My post-op experience has taught me much about myself but also so much about others. The human psyche is such a complicated beast, just when you think you have it licked, it throws you a googly. I've had some odd reactions from people and can't really fathom what is going on so i've tried to just shrug my shoulders and move on, forgive and forget. Having said that i have the memory of an elephant but one can but try. Sending well wishes and happy thoughts to you down-under.

Thanks Coumarin

Ten minutes after posting how lonely I am feeling, I get a text from one of my friends, saying she and another friend (one of the ones who was in hospital) are bringing lunch on Sunday. It will be really good to see them

I'm thrilled for you Wombat, that is great news. Have a super time on Sunday and enjoy yourself.

Oh Ladies, so nice to come here and know you are not alone!

Its SO true--the minute you get dressed and do something its all over. You're considered healed! Back to Normal! Now get out there and be superwoman!!

I had to explain to my bf just because I get dressed nice and want to look like a human being for a day & put my makeup on and join the human race for a couple of hours does not mean I feel great inside.

Just because I look good on the outside, doesn't mean I feel good on the inside...

Thanks for listening
Love you all!

I totally understand your feeling that people don't care. I had 5 hours of pelvic floor and hyst surgery and had less than a handful of people who took the trouble to call me or visit. I felt so sorry for myself that I actually sent myself a get well card the first week!

In short, I think that our expectations of people are way too high.

Hi ladies:
I am right there with you. My first week went smoothly but the fatigue has set in this week. I am tired of my husband telling people that I am "lounging" around. He is so done with nursing me and although he does not say it out loud, it is obvious in his demeanor. He has also pushed me to start driving sooner so that he does not have to do all the drop offs / pick ups, etc.

My other issue is that we live at the boarding school where I work. I am on medical leave so I feel like I have to hide. I am afraid that if people see me out and about, they will think that I am "milking" it. This contributes to me feeling isolated as I am used to interacting with my colleagues and kids all of the time. I try to time my walks to late in the evening when fewer people are out and about.

I am also nervous about this upcoming holiday weekend as we will be with all of my husband's family at the beach. I have no desire to participate in the "cleaning" and preparing of cottages nor do I want to go to the beach.

Hugs to everyone!

Ladies at least we have each other! I am three and a half weeks post op with an 7 inch ABD incision that finally looks like it might be closed. I have started driving and doing dishes etc. Yesterday I made the mistake of going to lunch with my daughter and bought a few plants before I picked up the car from the shop. The shop messed up the car which put the husband in a bad mood. When he walked in the house he said," maybe tomorrow you can stay home and get some things done around the house!" I do not cry easy but I did and then that made me mad and I saw red! I know he is allowed to get frustrated too but I am still mad and hurt. Marriage and Hysterectomy ....... Ugh!