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panic sets in
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08-13-2006, 06:25 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Undecided
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panic sets in
[font=Times New Roman][color=Indigo][i]Hello Girls. I have four days left and I am losing my mind. DH is not being supportive at all - tells me I am worrying over nothing and am being overly dramatic. He tells me this surgery is "nothing" and it's done all the time. I directed him to the FOR MEN link and he claims to have read it, but still is no help and no consolation. I have four million things to do before Thursday's trip to the castle and the fear is so pervasive I can barely concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, much less tackling that list. I keep second guessing myself about the operation, the choice to have my doc remove my ovaries, etc. I feel so terribly alone and frightened. And then reality sets in and I look at everything I have to do this week and it really is quite overwhelming. Sorry - just scared. God's blessings to all the princesses going this week with me and to you ladies-in-waiting.
KimD
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08-13-2006, 06:39 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 580
Hysterectomy: August 24th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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panic sets in
When I told my brother I was getting a LAVH, he had the same reaction as your DH. He said "oh lots of women get them !!!" He wants me to call his ex-gf to talk to her about hers that she had years ago . I think maybe they just don't want us to get worried or upset. My DH understands that this is a big deal, unlike my brother (who is single so I will forgive him!) WHEn I get doubts about my decision, I just run through my head the reasons this has to be done. Make a list of the reasons, and a list of all the good things to come from going through with it. Can you tell I am a list maker!!!???
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08-13-2006, 07:10 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 98
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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panic sets in
I think the craziest thing going on in my head right now is that my mom and mom-in-law are going to be visiting me at the house after I'm home from the hospital and I'm worried about what they'll think of the mess that I don't get to. I guess if I have to focus on something thats a silly yet harmless thing to think about. Have you written your list down? I kept whining to dh about my list and he finally says "what all exactly do you need to do?" When I started listing things, it really wasn't all that much and that made me feel better. I wrote my list and put it on the fridge so I can keep myself calm about the things I need to do. That helped a lot. Oh, and here's a little anecdote that cheered me up, because of its absurdity. My grandmother calls last night to see how I'm doing. Then she tells me she has this treadmill she wants to give me. Thats very nice, but it'll be a long while before my body is up to that. She knows I'm having surgery thursday but somehow thought I needed one more thing to concern myself with. Yeah Grandma, send it on over. Just one more thing to trip over on the way to the couch. Anyway, get done what you can. I've embraced the fact that this is all about me, and thats a rare event for a mother. Screw the crap that doesn't get done, everyone else can just deal with it. It is my time to take care of me.
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08-13-2006, 07:30 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 194
Hysterectomy: September 5th, 2006
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panic sets in
The best I can offer is a and some positive thoughts and prayers that the anxiety will lift and you will have a smooth procedure and a speedy recovery.
As for the list - do only what you have to do to make YOU feel better. In the grand scheme of things, most of the stuff we worry about will not make a difference.
I think the husbands try to minimize things because they get whacked out by things they cannot control and cannot fix. Come here for support from the ladies who understand. Gripe, cry, vent, question - whatever you need to do, there are plenty of sympathetic ears around!
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08-13-2006, 07:48 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 165
Hysterectomy: August 23rd, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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panic sets in
Isnt it funny how we all have this big list to get done?? I keep telling myself that the house will not collapse, the children will not starve, nor will dh or the cats, that the laundry will pile up and eventually when no one has underware one of them will wash a load. And I have to keep reminding myself that nothing will be wrong with my mouth post op and I know how to delegate chores to others, I am nurse manager at work, I boss the doctors around sometimes, so why I think the whole house will fall apart because I cant clean is crazy.
Actually my dh got a little annoyed at me a couple of weeks ago when I was once again expressing my worries (O.K. I was whinning) about how much I needed to organize pre-op he said "I am capable of doing somethings even without direction, I do run a company you know" So I backed off, and he is right.
Take a few minutes sisters who are making lists and running themselves ragged and see if you really need to do everything on that list, or maybe it will be O,K , or maybe someone else will really be able to handle it after your surgery when you must rest. I think exhausting yourself before surgery is a bad idea.
Start the pampering now, why not??
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08-13-2006, 10:19 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 493
Hysterectomy:
Ovaries: Undecided
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panic sets in
I think our list's are a way we can control what's happening to us,just a little bit.That sense of order,distract's our mind's(somewhat!!) And being women,it's just in us to want everything done,some sort of panic mode,LOL!! But we should also pamper ourselve's,this is our time and it will only happen once.Let's just forget our list's and take a deep breath,let the relaxing begin!! :balanc:
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08-14-2006, 05:11 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 580
Hysterectomy: August 24th, 2006
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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panic sets in
I agree! My lists actually calm me down. I can cross things off as they are done, and put the list away for later if I don't want to deal with anything. It is a sense of control. I also feel calmer knowing I won't forget anything. I also have things on my list like "go to lunch with girls " or "meditate" "walk the dog".
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08-14-2006, 05:47 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Undecided
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panic sets in
Many thanks to you all for your support and advice. I woke up this morning at 5:30 in a full fledged panic attack. Had my coffee (probably not the best idea)and have been doing laundry ever since DH left for work. Trudging my way through this list as best I can. Feel like I am sliding headlong into the 17th. Geesh! Glad to hear that it isnt as bad as my mind is making this out to be. By the way, DH tells me if I am discharged on Monday instead of Sunday as scheduled, I need to arrange for another ride home, as he will be attending his motorcycle safety course he's taking. Nice. Does DH have to stand for Dear Husband? Lately, I have found two other words that seem to fit the situation. Just kidding...I think. Take good care, girls. And thanks again.
Kim
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08-14-2006, 06:22 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 110
Hysterectomy: August 29th, 2006
Surgery Type: SAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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panic sets in
Dear Kim,
Hi, I'm just up the street from you, haha! I'm crossing things off my list too. Going to do an art show this week, then home on Sunday to finish the list! Try to prioitize and delegate responsibility. DH's do the best they can and believe me when you are through this he will be putty in your hands! Hugs to you, I'll be watching for your post-op post. Sue p.s. I'm experiencing my waves of panic too...I tell myself to ride the wave!
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08-14-2006, 06:29 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 57
Hysterectomy: August 17th, 2006
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Undecided
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panic sets in
Hope you're right!!!! He's joking about the vacation he's getting, as I am going to my mother's for the week after surgery to avoid all the steps in my home. I have a week's worth of food cooked off and frozen for him so he doesnt even need to cook. Best wishes to you all!!
God's blessings
Kim
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