Finally Made My Decision re Hysterectomy!

Some of you may have read my previous posts about trying to decide if I should go through with my surgery and thank you to each of you who replied with advice and experiences.

It has truly been an agonizing time with lots and lots of tears. I have gone back and forth changing my mind, trying to rationalize things. This has been an exhausting roller coaster. I really don't think that I have ever had to make such an important decision in my life. My head keeps saying no, but my heart keeps saying yes. I keep having these different pictures of my mom flashing in my head when she was sick with ovarian cancer. That was a horrible experience. I always expected to one day take care of my parents but not in the ways I had to do. I was supposed to take care of them when they were old. 56 and 55 isn't old....not when I'm now 44. My son told me that that was a bad time then, when she died, when he died from cancer almost 9 months later. He remembers. Unfortunately not just the good things, but the bad as well. But he also remembers enough that he doesn't want me or the rest of our family to have to go through that again. That truly touched me.

I've also talked to several women at my church who have had the surgery and all experiences have been positive and each one thought I should do it because of my family history, but there was still that doubt there. Not sure of what to do. So I talked to my preacher. I told him I was unsure and that I was waiting for Jesus to show up in my bedroom one night and tell me what to do. He asked me if I had ever heard of the story of the flood and the person on the roof who had several people come by to help but refused because they were waiting on God to personally save them when all along he had sent each of those people there to help him. I took that story to heart.

I look at my family and the heart wins hands down. I have to do this. I suspect that the tears will still be falling until I'm put to sleep, just as they are now. I'm doing this for myself, but especially for all of those that mean the most to me ♥

Bravo. I've made some big decisions with my heart and not regretted one.
Take care of your heart and soul -- only you can do this best. You are made up of your experiences and it sounds that you will rest easy with today's decision.

I have not seen all your previous posts, but you might want to consider genetic testing and meeting with a genetic counselor. Having a LAVH/BSO might save you from some gynecological cancers, but if your family carries the Lynch mutation or a BRCA mutation, you might need to do some extra testing each year (or more often) and be aware of other issues you need to look out for. That way you can be more sure of your specific risks instead of guessing what risks you may be facing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Candace,

It seems we might have different reasons for finally doing the surgery, but some of the same agonizing getting here. I wish you all the best and pray for everything to go well and for a speedy recovery.

Take care,

Carolyn

Thank you for the kind words Cocopep11 It meant a great deal. I don't expect regrets when I'm trying to be here for the long haul with the people I love the most. I see your surgery has already been done. I hope you are having a quick recovery.

CarolynK358, Yes it has thoroughly been exhausting. I most likely would have had to do something in the future anyway for another issue, but having the choice at the moment and not being told I had to do it, has probably been the most difficult. Good luck to you on your upcoming surgery. Sending prayers up for you as well

Elsie1122, I did test negative for BRCA, thankfully, however after talking to my genetics counselor and going over my risks and family history, it isn't strong enough for me to do the Lynch testing with the insurance paying. And although I am negative, I am still at a higher risk that the general population. Even though it may only be slightly higher, ovarian cancer scares me to death. But yes, I will continue to try to monitor everything I can concerning other cancer risks.

Thanks, praying it all went, or will go, well today.