Mourning My Uterus

I know that it may have something to do with rampant hormones raising havoc in my body, but I keep coming back to this strange sadness. I feel like a big part of me is going to be removed, something that defines my womanhood (even though it isn't doing anything helpful for me right now). I know in my logical head that this is probably irrational, (especially after hardly a wink of sleep last night due to pain), but I feel a terrible loss. How do we deal with this!!! Also, does anyone else feel this way, or am I REALLY losing it this time!?!?

Not feeling very Princess-like Gretchen

There is nothing irrational about it hun. We all feel that way. Even those of us that were more then ready to have that part of us taken. I was one of those. Ready to give up the painful periods, breakthrough bleeding etc. I have four children and I still mourned the loss of my uterus and ovaries. I kept waking up at night dreaming of the child I would never have. I am almost 11 months out now, and while the dreams have waned, I still have pangs in my heart occasionally. Be strong, and my god bless and keep you during your journey. Jenn

I never had the pleasure and dreams fulfilled by a child, and even though I still feel like one myself, I am already mourning losing my "oven", even though it is causing me so much pain. Well, it and the canteloupe-sized right ovary and who knows what else is in there...
so don't think you are losing it, I think it is probably only natural that we as the mothers/sisters of this world, have a natural desire to be whole. I for one, need to have this done, so I can have my life back. I will just spoil my nephew like crazy.

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Originally Posted by saraphina I never had the pleasure and dreams fulfilled by a child, and even though I still feel like one myself, I am already mourning losing my "oven", even though it is causing me so much pain. Well, it and the canteloupe-sized right ovary and who knows what else is in there... so don't think you are losing it, I think it is probably only natural that we as the mothers/sisters of this world, have a natural desire to be whole. I for one, need to have this done, so I can have my life back. I will just spoil my nephew like crazy.

Just wanted to say hugs to you saraphina, Jenn

I feel like this sometimes, even though it's been 18 months. Then I think of the positives. I can plan a weekend away without actually having to count the days on the calendar, I can go shopping without having to take a huge amount of supplies and the money I save every month is great. So hang in there and when you do feel a little bit down, just know that we are thinking of you and think of the positives.

We all will think about the what-could've-beens and miss that part of our lives. Just know you're not alone and we are all here with you. I do have 3 children but as they are getting older I miss having that little baby around. I look at everyone else's newborns with envy even though I know getting pregnant again could have been very dangerous for me. I need to think of a name for mine... hmmm... the hamster upstairs just started turning. Take care of yourself and know if you need anything we're here for you!!

Thank you Ladies for all of the support!!! It is sooooooo nice to know I am not alone! What would we do without this site? (My husband would probably have left me if I ranted and raved about everything I am feeling right now.) I either write it here or I read something that is exactly what I am feeling on another post. I spend A LOT of time here!

Only five days to the BIG DAY! I keep telling myself that womanhood is not defined by an organ that is of course diseased, but the sisterhood that we create and grow for the next generation of women.

I am also bribing myself to get my surgery- I have purchased the cutest red shoes, and after my surgery I will walk to the shop when I am feeling better (only two houses away - not real impressive of a walk), and don my well earned foot wear. Weird huh?

Princess Gretchen

It's great that you have treated yourself!!! My neice got me hooked on Sudoku last fall when we went on a trip together and that was one of my treats. As soon as I learned of the surgery I ordered this HUGE spiral bound book of puzzles to do while I recover. I've put it up so I'm not tempted to dive into it beforehand. A friend also bought me a Mary Higgins Clark book that I've put back as a treat for myself later. Don't feel bad.. my dh was laughing at me yesterday when I was whining.. not very comforting but I guess he's heard so much of it that's about all he can do at this point. I was in so much pain at 2am this morning all he could say.. you only have a couple more weeks.. I corrected him with 3 weeks.. hahaha.