intimacy issues

I am 8 weeks post op and 2 weeks post op from gall bladder surgery. My h and I have not had any relations since 2 nights before my TVH. I have been about ready to climb the wall this week because I feel better now and want us to be intimate. He keeps finding excuses. Tonight I asked him if we could and he gave a long list of things he HAD to do so no time for sex tonight or tomorrow morning. HE told me several days ago when I wanted to that he didn't feel well. I have tried to initate it, but he won't do it. I only want 15 minutes of his time,not the ENTIRE day! He is 15 years older than me and sometimes I wish i had a young h because at least I would feel wanted and not rejected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He would probably have a better stamina and sex drive than mine does. Sorry, but I am just so frustrated right now with my h.
I probably should wait a few more days anyway because I have itching down there from who knows what since I had bactrim about 2 weeks ago for a UTI. I am using some cream that is helping. I just want sometime with my h. He finds time to talk to his brother, sister, son, dad, friends, but none for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANy suggestions? ANybody else have this problem?

Priscilla, I don't know what to tell you. I'm only 2 weeks, and have a ways to go before we get the alls-clear from the doctor. I feel my hubby has been less snuggly/kissy since my hysterectomy. I'm trying to chalk it up to "he doesn't want to get too close because he knows it can't go anywhere". I guess it is easier to avoid a situation where he knows he a) might hurt me b) will only be frustrated when we can't go further.

Maybe your hubby needs some reassurance that you'll let him know if you feel discomfort, but that you w-a-n-t him!

Good luck!

Thanks peaceful storm. You had your LAVH on my 40th birthday, which hasn't been celebrated yet because I was in the hospital having my gall bladder removed. Hope you have an uneventful recovery and blessings to you.

Hi Priscilla!

The situation you describe is not unusual. There is an article in the Post-Op Articles archive that may be helpful. It was written based on comments shared through the years by members of Hystersisters.com:

Released For Intercourse But Husband Not Interested

Hang in there. I hope that better days are ahead.

Many s and Best Wishes,

am so sorry Priscilla how your husband is being with you. I know how that can be. My husband does the same thing to me all the time. I get so frustrated with my husband he never can take a few minutes of his time for me. When we were finally given the ok to be intimate last week, he would tell me he was too tired or just not in the mood, or too busy. I got mad, at the same time I was trying to be understanding too. I aso wasn't trying to push him into it. His back was giving him problems at the same time we were given the ok to, but after a few days we finally got to be intimate. I was just more frustrated with him he wasn't taking the time out to spend with me, because he was too busy or what not. We get into arguments over it all the time about him taking the effort to spend time together. Not just intimacy but quality time all the way around. Sometimes I just want to kick him or slap him. I love my husband dearly, but I just wish he would put me first. I am tired of fighting with him to get some time with him. I guess this week I got more frustrated than usual, because I know this is the last week before I go back to work, and he been ignoring me kinda all week, and we won't have the time like we do now, and he didn't seem like he cared enough to take advantage of it or take time out even 1/2 hour of his day. I work mostly days and he works nights. Men can be so frustrating sometimes. He always been like this. I mean he was great doing the house work and stuff when I couldn't, but he just never making the effort for us. Over the weekend he finally gave me some time and it was nice. It was just it has been a long recovery and when I was ready to be intimate he wasn't, and I guess that was the most frustrating about it all. Even though his back was bothering him he could of given me a little time with him even if it was just talking or just us time.

Totally Understand!!!!!!!!