SAH Dealing with unwanted "help"

does anyone have advuce for dealing with a person (work colleague) who seems determined to be involved in my recuperation? she is an unpleasant, bossy, toxic person, always complaining, and i do not like to be around her, period, much less while i am recuperating! she started trying to get involved pre-op and didnt take the hint when i said i was covered already for help. she doesnt have my private contact info but has started to contact me thru twitter. first to see about coming over to help, now starting to send me links to entertainment things. i am losing all my vaca time to this surgery and am resenting having soneone i find v stressful at work trying to barge in. this is esp tricky bc i live alone, am relaively new to the area, so it looks to her that im all albe and so in need of her help. I have other ppl who i actually like lined up to help. i know its nice of her to offer but this feels intrusive.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this during your recovery time. You can always block her on twitter. Since you work with her, Maybe you can let her know how you feel about her cyber stalking you and that her efforts to help are actually not needed and you would like to be left alone. Let her know that you will see her when you return to work. I know its easier said than done, but I hope that you get some peace during this very personal time in your journey. I'm 6 days into my recovery and I understand how you're feeling. Take care

I would be tempted to contact your supervisor or human services department at work and remind him/her of the company's policy to not share private information regarding addresses, phone numbers, ect. Tell him/her that this employee is interfering in your recovery and may attempt to obtain this information without your consent.

Then, a direct note sent to her at work address, "X, thank you for thinking of me during my recovery. However, I have a close friend who is overseeing my every need. She has everything under control. I really need to limit my activities including contacts while I am off work so please understand that I can not accept anymore offers of help. I am enjoying my time away from work. I will see you when my provider approves my return. Until then, take care and I hope work doesn't get too hectic."

thanks for the input! she doesn't have my private info (though other colleagues do b/c they will be helping me, but they are people who can be trusted to maintain some boundaries -- this woman really can't). that other ppl do have my info makes this more awkward. ive tried really hard to be polite and neutral and say that i already have help, thanks anyway.

this is down side of having to have the surgery while relatively new someplace w/o a partner -- am wishing i'd had it done earlier where i used to live, this wouldnt have been such an issue.

i've muted her on twitter now, but if this gets worse i may have to say something. she is someone who needs a lot of attention and is used to getting it by being "helpful". would rather have help from ppl i actually like...

I really like what Garden 15 had to say. It was very polite in a direct way that she may understand without getting her feelings hurt.

I am going to go against my other sisters' advice - sorry! Since this is a person you will probably have to continue to deal with, and it sounds like she is good at making people miserable, I would try to involve her in the slightest and possibly the most difficult way. I am not advocating giving her your info, but maybe just giving her something to do that she can pass to the others for you. Something like, I am having problems with eating a healthy breakfast that doesn't make my intestines hurt, could you possibly write up some suggestions or offer some help. So and so is coming over on Thursday (sorry I am just not up for company). If you can give her something to pass on to me for help, I'd be really appreciative.

I have a feeling if you did something like this a couple of times, she'd would get whatever feeling she is lacking in her life, and she'd probably stop badgering you. Since she is obviously the managerial type, I would make it a more involved task!

Again, I know this is contrary to everyone else, but I have had to work with difficult people, and I found this approach works better.

Now, my disclaimer is, I basically didn't tell more than 5 people. I didn't even tell my MIL who lives with us because I didn't want the overbearing "advice" and help! It has made my life easier!