Help! Talk me down!

Gigimay --

I so understand what you are thinking and feeling. I am going in for similar reasons as you are and even told my dh that I just couldn't do it to him and the boys. My boys are 7, 4, and 2. They are my biggest wory in all of this.

My dh told me that I am not doing it to them but for them. That right now they only have half a mommy because I am in to much pain half the time to be there as I want to be. To not do the surgery would be worse for them not better.

At the time, I wasn't so sure I liked his comments. I mean ... half a mommy!!?? What is that about?? But then I sat back and looked at it all together. And he is right! How many times have I had to stop playing tag after 10 mins and ended up in bed for 2 days for doing something so simple? How many times have I had to say not now sweetie. Go see daddy mommy had to take some medicine and now I have to go to sleep? How many things have I canceled doing wiht them do to another dr appt for me?

I don't want to do this to them any more .... knowing this is the only thing that keeps me going head long into this surgery without regrets. I know it will be rough on us all and I am doing all I can to make it easier on the everyone. Thats the best I can do. You will be in my prayers!

	Quote:
Originally Posted by gigimay I'm so about to cancel. Surgery is in two days. I've lived w/ fibroids/endo/cysts/pain for years, what's a few more until menopause? Why am I doing this-- putting myself at risk, adding to our debt, bringing on pain and discomfort?????? All I can think about are my kids-- 5 and 2, adopted from China. What if something happens to me? I just can't bear this. Gigimay

Gigimay,

Hi, Neighbor! I'm in Cumming, GA, so you're pretty close to me. I'd volunteer to help you out with your kids, but I'm going to be laid up at the same time you are. I have two boys (ages 3 and 8), so I'm concerned about how this will affect them, too.

I'm going in on Monday (the 18th) for a TVH, and for the last couple of weeks, I've thought about canceling at least once a day. It helps that I'm currently on day 9 of a very painful period, so most of the time lately I've been ready to rip my uterus out myself. Still, I have all of these thoughts of "Is it THAT bad? Can't I live with it? What if I have all these complications?" etc. I think it's normal to think like this. I'm trying to look at my surgery date as my parole date from this prison I've been in for 23 years, since my first period at age 14. I'm so tired of living in pain with heavy bleeding for 10-12 days a month. I bet you are, too. It's really impacting my life.

I think both of us will be much happier when this is behind us and we're free from these problems. My sister had to have a hysterectomy at age 30 for cervical cancer, and she says that although she didn't want it at the time, she's really come to enjoy having freedom from periods...and she didn't even have any of the pain or long periods that most of us are living with.

So...I definitely understand where you're coming from, but hang in there. It's very scary, but try to think how much freer you're going to feel when the recovery is behind you. I'm trying to tell myself the same thing. Think about it--no more cramps, no more "accidents," no more living on painkillers or being confined to your house because of bleeding, no more wearing "period underwear." I bought 3 new pairs of sexy underwear today in celebration of my impending freedom. You'll be able to enjoy your little girls so much more, too.

Hang in there! I hope that all of this anxious waiting is the hardest part. Keep holding onto the idea of freedom. I think it'll be worth the price!

Lori
Age 37, having a TVH (keeping ovaries but probably losing cervix) for adeno & probable endo.

That is the main thing that Ikeep inthe back of my mind! My kids have put up w/ a mom in pain and grouchy for so long. How much of a better mother and wife will I be after all is said and done and I am out of this horrific pain?! I imagine lazy pain free fun filled days. Being able to run and play with my kids without doubling over (which btw scares the daylights out of them). I want to be a WHOLE person again... not this shread of what I used to be. Try to keep those kind of thoughts in your head and keep on pushing.