How do you deal with the insensitivity?

what a jerk! My gosh! My SIL said to me after my surgery "I understand how you feel, I have had laproscopic ovary blasting". I understand that ovary blasting for cysts is not fun, but she cant possibly understand that I cannot have any more children, I almost died before surgery, and that I've lost what I think is a part of my femininity! **** ppl! Hopefully he gets a clue SoccerMom!

For those that think that this is the same as a c-section...I can tell you I had 2 c-sections proir to my TAH, and they were a breeze compared to my hysto. I do have to say I was one of "those people" before surgery, I thought that my recovery would be like my c-sections, boy was I wrong. For all of you ladies getting ready to go into surgery good luck, God Bless, and a speedy and uneventful recovery.

Soccerwife big hugs to you!!

Now as for this sexist, harassing boss of yours! I had a boss just like yours, and in the end i took him to court for sexual harassment charges. I came to learn he had been reported "several" times for various incidentals.

He's a pig today and he will be a pig tomorrow. I ended up writing out any conversation, documenting everything. Up to the time I left for appointments, that I did at lunch or early before work, and if I went over, I made sure to make it up at my lunch hour. Suddenly my boss said I couldn't do that anymore! It was retarded and work became unbearable.

I am not working now, and quite honestly I don't miss it. I understand about being the bread winner and insurance being very important for you (hugs on the lupus on top of everything else).

Yet, the biggest thing I have had to learn is to not feel guilty when I put myself first. I've always been the one to put others before me, work included. In the end it didn't get me anywhere. If the company fell apart because I wasn't there, perhaps they should have had another person shadow so if I was away or someone else was, we could cover one another. You aren't a super hero, you are going to need to rest and be ok with it.

Heck my boyfriend is wanting to do all sorts of caring for me, and as I have had to do so much by myself, I'm telling him (on automatic pilot no less) that I will take care of myself, because I have had to for so long. That includes walking my dogs, I've since agreed to compromise .

Pay no mind to those that don't support you during this very important time in your life. You, me and others are about to venture into the next phase of our life, a little support is not so difficult to ask for