Will the pre-op emotional roller coaster stop so I can get off?

Hi ladies,

I've been on a crazy emotional roller coaster lately. (Thank goodness my husband is supportive!) I go from being grateful that the surgery will make me feel better to being so scared that I'm afraid to have it to worrying about being "less of a woman" because my "parts" will be gone, etc. etc.

I'm afraid. I know I'm not alone...and you all have been so helpful already.

I'm afraid to ask for help too. This is so hard for me to do so.

I'm having cramping for about 3 1/2 weeks every month...one week of which I can barely function without the prescription pain meds the doc gave me.

I feel so scattered...so lost...so scared.

I'm doing a lot of what if's...what if I get sick from the anesthesia...what if it doesn't go well...what if....you get the picture.

Anyway...suggestions to get off of this emotional coaster would be appreciated.

(Because bursting out into tears randomly thinking about my surgery is kind of driving me nuts.) Is this normal?

Thanks ladies!

It is absolutely normal to feel that way. I've been on the same roller coaster. It's normal to worry, it's normal to feel scared to let go of a part of you. And since you have a supportive husband and the Sisters, you are ahead of the game. There will be days where you have no tears, days where you can't stop and days where you are looking forward to your visit to the castle. Everything I've been told is that once you have it done, you are going to wonder why you waited. But for now, let the emotions happen so you can get them done and you can focus on your recovery.

Don't I know it! Scattered, unfocused, lack of concentration ...... We are about to have a major surgery that is going to impact our lives for several weeks. It's hard not to think about it. It's okay - people will understand. And - if they don't, to them.

Ah Ha! The What ifs.

I think we all go through those - I know I have been. My big what if is, What if I go to sleep and don't wake up? It's rare and a long shot, but I want to make sure everything is squared away so my husband can take over the finances if the worst comes. I'm the banker and accountant in our house. It isn't a huge focus, but it is on my mind.

Other complications are possible, too, but mostly temporary and can be managed if they crop up.

My husband likes to remind me that you can make yourself sick worrying about what might be and he's right. Try to focus on the Now and trust that the Future will take care of itself when it comes. His wise words aren't always helpful, but I try. Someone on HS has the tag line, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that's why they call it the present."

As for being 'less of a woman' - Think of it this way - You are going to be more of yourself! More of what you were before all the associated uterine problems began controlling your life. My husband and I are planning to resume activities we have curtailed because of my health problems.

You are right, you are not alone and many of us here are having the same struggles and we will get through them together.

As hard as I know it is, try and focus on the positives as much as possible.

I like to subscribe to the, "Don't borrow trouble" philosophy. It's completely normal to have worries, we are human after all. It takes active thought to not worry about what you can't control. I also find that prayer helps me, personally, tremendously.

It also helps me to prepare my life, just 'in case'. I had cancer in 2003 that spread to my lymph nodes, so it's definitely a been there, done that thing for me. But I'm not so much worried about finances, it's the intangibles I have addressed. Honestly, our habit of worrying makes us our own worst enemy!

Good luck and God bless you!

I was you less than 4 days ago! I promise after the surgery you wont even recall all your oh my gosh what if moments. I was a little moody the next day but only because i was pms.ing which is common when most of us gave 1 good wk a month prior to surgery. I had the jitters sooooo bad!!! Once i got in the Hospital it happened super fast! Looking back i feel like a big silly for being so scared and freaking out over every little thing! Good luck sister i will keep you in my thoughts

Thank you everyone. I was feeling tired and drained and just couldn't stop dwelling on the surgery last night. Your words help me!

However, my boss the other day said "lucky you, you get to be off of work for 6 weeks". I looked at him and said, "Yeah...lucky me". I think that set the tone for yesterday. He had elbow surgery earlier this year...he thinks my surgery is NOTHING compared to his. "Well, it's not like it's MAJOR surgery", he says. I corrected him on that one.

Anyway...my hubby made me breakfast in bed this morning. What a great way to start my day!

What a great husband!

Seems guys/bosses are the biggest babies. Someone else had a similar comment from a boss not that long ago - jerks.

"How would you like to have your belly sliced open, all you innards tugged about and some removed? Have a nice day."

Glad you're feeling better now. Best of luck tomorrow! We will be thinking of you.

My surgery is tomorrow and I have been obsessing for weeks. Sometimes I feel like I am going to hyperventilate. I am single and most of my obsessing centers around who is going to do all the things I do while I can't do them. I do have a grown son who lives with me and I know he will help, but probably not WHEN I want him to.

The best thing I have found to make myself stop is to focus on something else. I play handbells and attended a 4 day event that required preparation and with the preparation, the event and reflecting afterward, this gave me a great distraction! I'm probably crazy, but I'm directing handbells at church this morning and attending a handbell concert tonight--the night before my surgery.

So, if you have a special interest and can plan something to distract you, it is a wonderful thing. I also find great comfort in talking to friends who have been through surgeries and taking their advice for preparing for the hospital stay and for the recovery afterward.

I am having an abdominal procedure, due to fibroids that are too large to get out any other way. So I will be in the hospital a minimum of 2 nights.

Good luck with your procedure. I'm really glad mine is upon me. The pre-op anticipation and emotional roller coaster are crazy.

Musiclover57,

I actually got out my guitar yesterday and that helped tremendously. Started on another crocheting project and did some baking. 3 of my favorite things. That helped.

And as you said, the pre-op anticipation and emotional roller coaster are crazy for certain!

I hope all goes well for your surgery!